To have said this to my cleaner?

[wellwatnow]

NC for this. I've had this last cleaner for almost a year, I've had several over the years and although this one isn't all that great she's one of the best at cleaning and I will say is by far the most reliable. She comes every other Monday and sometimes I have to text her on a Sunday afternoon to tell her I won't be in as she has to use the key safe (usually I am home).

I wasn't home last time she came, and I won't be home tomorrow either. As always I thanked her for doing a good job, she's always said I must let her know if anything is missed out with her cleaning, so I asked her if she could make sure my laundry room gets a good clean as she forgot to do it last time.

Anyway, a while later she replied and said no problem, sorry if you thought the laundry room hadn't been cleaned, she said she had cleaned it but would give it a good clean. I replied to thank her and said I'd noticed that one of the wall cupboard doors had definitely not been cleaned which made me think she'd forgotten the room. Well she replied quite quickly by saying she knows which door I mean, and that she hadn't cleaned it because it looked like it was covered in dried cat sick (my cat often sleeps on the top of the wall cupboards in the laundry room) and that she didn't want to clean it, and that I must have known about it because otherwise how did I know it hadn't happened after she left? She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about, whatever that means. She then said she can't make tomorrow but would be in touch when she's free.

I suspect now that she won't be coming back, which is infuriating as it's impossible to get people to clean, all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers. I only found this one as she was cleaning for a neighbour one day. I had to wait ages for her to find a space to fit me in. But I can't help think she's taking this way too personally.

There's somebody at the door! IYKYK

Hmm. Why won't any of your friends give you their cleaners' numbers?! A mystery.

I am rooting for the cleaner to never come back to this house.

The way OP keeps saying ‘this one’ instead of ‘the cleaner’ or ‘she’ says a lot.

Am I missing something? What is so outrageous about a cleaner cleaning cat sick? I’ve never had a cleaner but surely their job is to clean? What’s the point in cleaning anyway before a cleaner comes?

I’m a cat sitter, and if a cat is sick or I find it, I clean it up.

How about cleaning your house, yourself. If l was your cleaner, l too would not return, you shouldn't have text her at all. You cleaned the cupboard, job done. You made an issue of it, the cleaner feels aggrieved, start looking for a new one, lesson learned, hopefully

Goodness
Are there rules on what cleaners will clean then?
I mean I get one maybe every 6 months when I need a good clean
And I never tidy up for her
I just pay her for what I want
She usually comes for 4 hours.
One time I was pregnant and exhausted the kitchen was awful.and needed a reset
I literally said.do.what you can in those 4 hours.
No discussion on its too messy to.clean etc
I think you pay a tiny bit extra for a deep.clean

So yeah who makes up.these bizaare rules on house being tidy before cleaner comes?
What exactly is.a cleaner for then?
To Polish the house?

You've brought this on yourself - you didn't need to mention the cupboard door at all.
And you should reflect on this "all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers" because it's very likely they won't give you their numbers because they don't want you to upset their cleaner. My cleaner is busy but I'd still pass on her details to friends I think would be good to work for because one of her other clients might drop out for a variety of reasons. But there is no way I'd pass on her details of certain people who I think would be nightmare clients.

Well clearly, you expected her to clean up cat sick. She wasn’t happy about that in the first place. That’s why she said it could be the thing you never spoke about - she was willing to overlook it. And now, the fact you’ve criticised her for it is the last straw for her.

You don’t sound like you have much empathy for other people.

How can she be both ‘isn’t that great’ yet still be ‘one of the best at cleaning and by far the most reliable’?

I do my own cleaning so I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the cleaners in my region won't do washing up, for example.

They will clean toilets though, so I don't really know why they wouldn't clean cat sick.

I'm very torn because on the one hand this refusal to tell me how much time I was getting for my money would irritate me, but on the other hand (and as a truly non-houseproud person) I am absolutely horrified that you noticed your cat had thrown up down a cupboard and didn't immediately clean it up. Honestly, OP, that's really bad. Poo, wee and vom are absolutely not within a cleaner's standard work.

Well... I dunno. I don't think I would expect a cleaner to clean up dried poo on the floor, or a blocked toilet.

"The thing we never talk about" is very telling from her. It's clear you aren't a great client as you've churned through a lot of cleaners. Maybe just do it yourself and put the $ in a jar for something nice for yourself instead?

You just don't get the fact that what you said and how you said it was inappropriate do you?

I hope you're joking about approaching her after your neighbour died. That's just beyond awful.

So is this the explanation for "She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about"?

It's mystery cleaner code for "I don't wanna do it and I expect you never to mention this fact"? Like Sicilian Omerta but about untouched cupboard doors?

Complicated

There’s nothing wrong in principle with an employer giving critical feedback in any job.
Having said this, if the balance of power is in favour of the employee (as with cleaners where we live), it would be wise to take that into consideration.

Wow.

You don’t mention apologising for the cat sick and that says it all really.

And that you so casually mention pouncing on her once her client had died.

I hope you can use this as an opportunity to reflect on your behaviour op and make some positive changes.

If my cleaner had found some cat sick I would not expect them to clean it up. In the same way as I clean and bleach our toilets before they arrive. I know that they would clean all these things for me, but I prefer to do it myself. I draw the line a sh*t and sick!!

This.

Entirely.

There are some people that should really think before they hit 'send'.

You are probably one of them because all those brownie points she has stored up mean fuck all to you as a result of a slightly grubby door handle.

Honest to God you don't deserve her.

I think your follow up message that the cupboard definitely had not been cleaned was unnecessary and a little aggressive.

You'd already pointed out the problem, she'd said she'd give it a good clean, you could have just said thanks and left it there.

You shouldn't have left cat sick for her to clean.

Because she could get ill from it. Cleaning a toilet from day to day use and cleaning up vomit are two very different things.

You left her a bio hazard job, then got pissy when she left it

I wouldn't be back either

There's a massive difference between cleaning before a cleaner comes (not needed or expected) and cleaning up cat sick in advance. If the dog did a poo on the kitchen floor, would it be OK to leave that overnight for the cleaner to deal with?

OP is probably keeping her fingers crossed now that one of them dies so she can have their cleaning slot.

The reason I leave my house tidy is so my cleaner can actually clean. I don't pay them to tidy up after me. The clue is in their job title!