Husband leaves me a list of duties

[JanineCody]

My husband of 18 years bought a little whiteboard a few weeks ago which goes on the fridge so you can write reminders for groceries etc on it but over the past week or so he's been leaving me a list of "duties" on it.

-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."

-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."

-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow."

-(My name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost."

AIBU for thinking I am not his slave?

Do you have children?
If not, I'd be looking into divorce.

Not one woman on the planet is going to put up with that without a response

OP, have you noticed any other recent changes in his behaviour?

I'd be tempted to write 'Find good colorectal surgeon for husband '
If he asks why you can tell him if he continues this bollocks he'll need the board & pens surgically removing

Swap the pens for permanent markers. Obviously you won’t do any of the tasks he is commanding but it will make you laugh when he tries to rub them out to update the list.

No need, she already has one in the house pretending to be a human being. 😎

"Stick this whiteboard up your arse!" comes to mind.

Many things to say here. It's passive aggressive of him to communicate this way. Also, he seems to be under the impression that you are his personal assistant, not his partner. Have you always done these tasks in the past? Do you work? Are you busy with the kids? I'd either get a job or a divorce in your situation. This man sounds like a total pig with little to no respect for you outside of how you can serve his needs.

If I didn't work then I'd absolutely do those things. But not if they were issued as an order like that. If my husband asks me to do something for him I'll do it (and vice versa).

Why isn't he having conversations with you and has opted to write commands on a board instead?

This would fuck me right off. And is also why when men say 'tell us what to do and I'll do it' also fucks them off when you do as they ask.

i cannot imagine a scenario where this would happen to me and it certainly couldn’t happen twice. I challenge you to never ever do anything on this list. How ridiculous.

Yeah. He needs to work on his people skills!

Be in the bin if it was me. Potentially followed by husband.

You purchase yourself a white board and write a nice list of things he can do for you because its got to work both ways......then you are both equal.

List the things that he can do which makes your life easier, nothing too exaggerated so he does not show you attitude but things which help you out.

I have a whiteboard (adhd) and it's very useful.

BUT....I would be quite abusive if I was delegated tasks like that.

Stick a note on there saying ‘xxx name, please take the above list and stick it right up your arse’. My husband would be expecting that response.

My thinking exactly - context matters. Are you a homemaker and he works outside of the home @JanineCody

Hahaha OP is just bought a whiteboard for our kitchen so I could write a daily schedule and list of jobs for my DH because he's fing bone idle and does f all. It's totally passive aggressive but I'm fed up with doing everything. I can't think of one thing he does to help so this was to enforce that.

I don't think a list of jobs is a dreadful thing per se.

When we had 3 DCs at home I bought a big whiteboard for the kitchen with the DC's chores - eg: whose turn it was to pack & unpack the dishwasher, who's turn to do the bins that kind of thing as well as what everyone was doing that week eg: 'Trevor' rugby practice Weds 5pm, mum take him, MIL collect after collecting 'Sally' from ballet 6:30, mum taking 'Fred' to Cubs Fri 4:30 & collecting 6:30. That kind of thing as well as a space for when we were running out of things so that I could add them to that week's shopping list. I'd also write reminders for me along the lines of 'Fred' opticians Weds 4:00, book 'Trevor' orthodontic appt'.

Sometimes DH would write 'Kids at MIL's for the night Sat- party time for mum & dad!' 😂

However, sometimes I would also leave DH a note to remind him of 'jobs' which would say for eg: please remember to check the downstairs loo as it seems to be running overtime & I think ballcock needs attention, or please remember to fix the shelf in 'Trevor's' room before it comes completely off the wall. If I didn't do that I'd be the one running 3 kids to their various activities, working, cooking, household admin etc & he would conveniently 'forget'. But these didn't go on the family whiteboard as this was between him & me & merely as a reminder for him.

His memory is going now, he likes to do the cooking, but will often make 2 meals, he will forget that it's bin day tomorrow, even though he's asked & I've reminded him several times, he will feed the dog twice. So I've bought a whiteboard that sticks on the fridge. At the top I've written 'Never forget that you are the love of my life' and underneath I will write what is happening today (eg: me working, bins need to be put out, any visitors), what we've decided to eat today, when I've fed the dog.

However, I do think this 'Sarah collect my dry cleaning' Sarah do this, that & the other is rather passive aggressive & treating OP rather like a servant. I'd have tackled my DH about it by now & asked what is going on.

Tbh I find whiteboards only useful for drawing penises (sic? Penis'? Penii? What is the plural of penis 🤣)

If DGC weren't liable to visit unexpectedly I'd totally do this. 😂😂😂

Husband - fuck off and do it yourself you lazy arsehole!

I would absolutely NOT do any of those chores - just say you didn’t notice it /them

Ignore them. You aren't his PA. You are his wife. Cheeky Fucker.

Have you got sort of problem where reminders are needed? Do you forget things?

If not, it’s a bit odd.

-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."
-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."
-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow."
-(My name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost."

I'd be writing "DO IT YOURSELF YOU LAZY FUCKER" next to every 'duty'.

And let's face it, he could have taken the chicken out in the time it took him to write that. Lazy fucker.

And - and it's a big 'and' - does he not know to use the word 'please'? Lazy rude fucker!