Husband leaves me a list of duties

[JanineCody]

My husband of 18 years bought a little whiteboard a few weeks ago which goes on the fridge so you can write reminders for groceries etc on it but over the past week or so he's been leaving me a list of "duties" on it.

-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."

-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."

-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow."

-(My name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost."

AIBU for thinking I am not his slave?

Depends on the circumstances, during Covid I was the only one at work so left a list of chores every day for my partner and daughter.

Hmm. So what's he been like for the rest of the 18 years you've been together?

I can think of a few alternatives that I’d be writing on that board op. Like, “Off. You. Fuck”

I get this from time to time but it’s verbal. ‘Your job for this week is to X’
I purposely never do it

I’m torn between the cock and balls graffiti and the list of his duties. Presumably he has duties which he needs reminding to do? If so, start with that and then move on to the cock and balls if he doesn’t do them.

If you are very forgetful and you've agreed that these are things you would do it could be mildly ok. But the lack of manners would mightily fuck me off.
It doesn't sound as though that's the case.

A major piece of context here is how much you do around the house.

The list is rude but if it'd been preceded by 18y of him doing most of the housework or something, I can see why he might.....

That whiteboard would be straight in the bin

Write on it (His name) stop being such a pompous controlling prick.

Or just bin it.

DH and I have similar it also includes the weekly meal plan and space for groceries to go on the list for the best shop. However we sit down on a Sunday together and agree tasks for the week and both add to it and both tick things off. DH has ADHD and this is both helpful for him and makes me less resentful about the mental load

Take it off the wall and leave it face down somewhere. Why has he started to do this? Have you said anything to him about it?

Context or it didnt happen

This!

What’s the backstory to this?
I do things for my husband and he does for me but we ask or offer eg if I know he’s away with work I’d say do you want me to get your suit. Or I’m off to Aldi do you want anything and he’ll say oh get me those biscuits I like please. A sudden list of orders wouldn’t sit right with me.

Write 'p**s off and do it yourself' ... but I am childish. Ask him if he's timeslipped to the age of the dinosaur.

My dh might say to me "Any chance you could pick up my dry cleaning when you are in town today?" and that would be no problem because I might also say, "Any chance you could book my car into that garage next to where you work, it needs a service?". Or we might sit down and make a list of jobs and see who's going to do what.

On the first day that whiteboard appeared I would've instantly sent him a photo and asked "Wtf is this? Do it yourself!". The fact that you haven't suggests you are a bit downtrodden already.

I send DH lists of things he needs to do when I'm out. Otherwise he just sits on his iPad.

In your shoes I would create a house list and put names next to each job at the beginning of the week.

Saying "Darling would you mind picking up my suit from the dry cleaners when you're out that way" would be fine. Orders via a whiteboard is not.

(His name) "sign the divorce petition"

Im interested to know why he's started doing this, and what happens if you don't obey orders.

By each of these demands I would be putting DH do it yourself.

If you feel like the share is already fair or you are doing more then go ahead and weoponise your incompetence.

Take the suit to the dry cleaners and tell them to sell it (I didn't realise you meant you wanted it back!?)

Go to the supermarket and get the biscuits you like and he hates (oh I thought those were the ones you meant because I like them)

Burn an iron hole in the shirt (I'm just no good at it!)

Take chicken out of freezer and put straight in the bin (oh I thought you meant because it was out of date?)

Turn yourself into Princess Anne and tell him to "naff orf" 🤣🤣

Also when you're at the supermarket send 300 texts to ask about the biscuits. Even better if these are verbal announcements over Alexa which constantly makes embarrassing announcements during his work calls. "Oh and did you want more piles cream?"

What have you said to him about it?