Husband leaves me a list of duties

[JanineCody]

My husband of 18 years bought a little whiteboard a few weeks ago which goes on the fridge so you can write reminders for groceries etc on it but over the past week or so he's been leaving me a list of "duties" on it.

-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."

-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."

-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow."

-(My name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost."

AIBU for thinking I am not his slave?

id be scribbling out "byname" and putting fucking husband

Depends, the only way this is in any way less than 😱🤦‍♂️ is if you are a housewife who would be going to these places anyway and he's just asking you to tack something else on while you're there.

My ex used to do this

ex for a reason

Married 24yrs next month. If my husband did that I would simply write under it :
DO IT YOUR EFFIN SELF

Asking nicely I 100% would, demanding or expecting me to? Absolutely not.

I wonder if he leaves messages on the office notice board "John finish my report" or "John get the sales figures".

Who knows, maybe he does. I'd ask. Either way it's rude.

What was life like before the whiteboard?

Do you work similar hours to your husband, OP? If you’re a stay at home mum then I think it makes quite a difference.

Are you like one of those non-functioning husbands who doesn't know to contribute to the household without being given a list of chores?

Is he working, doing housework and minding the children while you twiddle your thumbs?

The only circumstances where this might be acceptable is if your agreed role in the relationship is to stay at home and run the household while his agreed role is outside the home earning money for you both.
Even then, it doesn’t have to be so cold and demanding, just a list of bullet points of things that are needed, rather than “woman, iron my shirt”.

If you both work, just write “do it yourself”.

Awaiting the drip feed of he works 5 bajillon hours a week, there’s no dc, op gave up work on marriage, they need more money as op wants a round the world cruise bought but can’t be expected to get a job as she meets her ex 4 times a week for lunch….

His name -"don't be so fucking cheeky and get rid of this whiteboard"

Should do it
If that does not work
Your name - dig 6 foot by 6 foot by 3 foot hole in garden

No pocket money l assume 🤷‍♀️

I need more info to comment. I’m married to a man who severely lacks initiative, he’s got a whiteboard that contains a list of tasks he updates. Otherwise he can’t remember to do anything apparently. In contrast l can organise myself and do more than my fair share. But as a lot of tasks on the whiteboard in OP’s post are purely about his convenience then lm assuming he’s taking the piss. How much of these kind of tasks does he do? Do you both work? How much down time does everyone have?

I'd get one of those super wide permanent black sharpies and write

(HIS NAME) - GET A NEW SLAVE

right across the middle.

Twat.

I wouldn't be very happy about this, but as others have said - what prompted it?

Do you work full time out of the house? Or, other end of the scale, are you a SAHW, no children, no income and spend lots of time and money at nail bars, lunching with friends and getting your hair done?

Are household tasks shared, do you do most of it and he is a lazy arse, or do you the bare minimum and the guy just wants his dry cleaning picked up as you will be in hairdressers next door anyway?

There is a lot of missing info.

Context is needed here. We have a similar whiteboard in the kitchen where we write down things that need doing so we don't forget them.

If you're going to the shops anyway then getting the dry cleaning and his favourite biscuits is not a particular issue, surely?
I absolutely would write "DH hoover lounge" but it would be in the context of him saying he would do it and me writing as a reminder.

If he's just instituted the whilteboard and there has been absolutely no discussion, either from him before putting it up, or you since it's been up, this is just entirely weird, and suggests your marriage has bigger problems.

Yes. Write out your To Do list- you might need a bigger board. Write a column with the things you already do. Tick them off as you do them.

Write a column of things for your DH to do.

I’d draw a big knob on it

Get another whiteboard and write out a list of duties for him.

This!

Match the jobs one for one. If his don’t get done, neither do yours.

I'd buy exactly the same whiteboard, then add a list of chores that he can do for you.

Hmm - is this real?!

go and get the biscuits I like?! Feels too obvious.

Burn that motherfucking whiteboard.

Put up a sign that says there are no masters in this house.

Fucking asshole.

I would just write next to it, nope you will need to do it yourself

it’s doesn’t matter if you are a sahm or working, he doesn’t get to dictate like that

I think it’s fair if he goes to work and you don’t. I write reminders for myself to do things for my partner as he works full time and I don’t. It annoys me he doesn’t make to-do notes or shopping lists

I would be straight out of the door!