Can I take a sibling to a child’s birthday party

[ThisGreyHelper]

I have 3 DD (7, 4 and 7 months). DH has recently passed and I find situations like this a bit overwhelming to navigate rationally.

DD4 has a soft play party and it’s private hire so you can’t pay for extras. My DD7 is going out with my lovely sister for a girls days but I’ve just realised it might be rude to being the 7 month old. Sister wouldn’t be happy to have the baby (she has never looked after a baby). I don’t baby any other childcare.

party is on Sunday so will message the mum tomorrow but would you think a baby would be ok? She won’t eat anything or need a part bag. She can’t move yet so won’t be in the way and I’ll just keep her in a sling/ pram if she’s sleep.

yes or no to a baby attending? Thanks

yes I think baby is fine, any older than 18 months I’d say it becomes awkward

First of all sorry for your loss. Please ring the mum and ask. It will be a hard hearted parent that would say 'no' knowing your situation.

So sorry for your lost. I would think babies were fine as it's not like they are using the soft play or eating a meal. I always have took baby DD to reception parties (although now she is almost one I have stopped as she has less chill!)

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'd definitely give the parent a call and ask. If they say yes, I'd just make sure to bring a few toys/snacks for baby to try and keep them occupied.

sorry I pressed the wrong one. Yes that’s absolutely understandable

I have said no to siblings at parties like soft play but I wouldn't even expect to be asked about a mum bringing a babe in arms. I would assume she just would.

Sorry for your loss.

I cannot imagine a person that thinks this is unreasonable.

I'm so sorry for all you are facing @ThisGreyHelper

I was at a soft play party last weekend and there were 3 babies in arms. No one batted an eyelid. Other siblings weren't there but babies are very much the norm. Nice of you to message the Mum. I would hope she would completely understand.

Your baby won’t be using the facilities or eating — of course it’s ok!💐

So sorry for your loss. Absolutely fine to bring a baby.

So sorry for your loss- absolutely ok to take baby x

I’m really sorry for your loss. Your baby would be welcomed at any party I was throwing.

A few people brought babies to my 4 year olds party and none of them told me - I only got asked about the older mobile kids that would require food and party bags. Perfectly okay!! You only need to check about kids that need to be catered for.

Thanks everyone, feeling a bit less stressed now!

I’ll still send her a message at a reasonable time tomorrow to double check. DD is so excited so fingers crossed!!

how do single parents navigate the whole party thing with siblings?! Is there an etiquette?! With 2 now in school I feel we’re going to be party central!

Totally fine to bring baby to any party, I brought my DD now 2 to her big sister’s parties, brought snacks for her and declined any offer of party bag, until she was 18 months ish as then she would have started to want to join in but wouldn’t have been able to, so I’ve left her at home since. No one batted an eyelid and many others were doing the same.

If I had to take her now, I would do so to church halls and just continue to bring food for her and be prepared to keep her entertained. If it was soft play/other proper activity place I would ask first as often it’s pay per child and if so would either pay for her, otherwise I wouldn’t take them. If it’s just a max of 30 etc. then they can be clear whether they have the numbers.

Older siblings who come along usually have a book/tablet and again I tell my older he’s not to have any snacks/drinks unless he is specifically offered by the host.

They will know you don’t have many other options so I’m sure people won’t mind as long as you’re polite about it and don’t expect them to be catered for/entertained beyond simply running about.

Sorry pressed wrong option. YANBU to bring a baby. Just text Mum and let her know x

By check about kids that need to be catered for do you mean inviting your own extra children to a private hire party?

You can't do that

Mine just didn't go to parties until it was drop off and leave Which was pretty much the whole of school really as parents having to stay was less common

Baby yes that’s ok

I wouldn’t even have thought about asking the mum in your situation! Pop baby in a sling so you’re able to be mobile for your DD whilst she’s playing.

Baby yes that’s ok.

Babe in arms is fine.

Sorry for your loss OP, it sounds like you are doing a great job. 💐

I think generally it's no siblings (excluding babies who are fine) but I think in lots of cases people will make exceptions for childcare issues if possible. The only issue is booked activities or entertainers who only take a certain number of kids. But with soft play places you can often pay for your other child and bring them some food. Then when they get older I think it becomes a drop off anyway.

I’m really sorry you lost your DH.
if it’s the kind of party where a parent is expected to stay (nb that evolves over time) then babe in arms is fine and you’ve done the right thing not bringing the other sibling.

i think you’ll find that by the time it’s not appropriate to bring your youngest - when they’re toddling around - you can drop and leave your older children (but never drop both children off at a party unless it’s been really clearly stated “siblings welcome”. I’ve seen that a couple of times out of many dozens of invites)

Absolutely fine as a baby no issues at all nobody would bat an eyelid.

As for how to deal with siblings and party requests (DH works away sometimes) if it's an open thing then I pay for my eldest or youngest.
If it's not an open thing then I speak to friends to see if they can take (I return the favour) or I ask at time of invite about the possibility.

I never just turn up with a sibling in tow although DS1 recent party 4 did just that and it was private hire!