To feel incredibly sorry for myself?

[Carlie97]

I broke up with my ex in 2018 after ten years together. I noticed on social media that he'd met someone new after years of being single. He did meet someone shortly after we broke up and that hurt like crazy when I found out, but life moves on. When I found out he'd started seeing this one, I was absolutely fine and even wished him well in my head, however I've seen today on social media (I'm still in touch with some of his family on social media) that him and his girlfriend are away in the place we used to go together and the place I love so dearly. She has tagged family members im still in touch with who are there too which is how ive seen the posts on SM. I still go regularly on my own to this place but I'm devastated.

Perhaps not very helpful but why did you break up? It might be worth reminding yourself why he’s an ex in moments like this.

OP I get it, I promise I do. However, if you decide to get into a new relationship, wouldn’t you like to take that person to the place you love too?

It’s a shitty feeling and I honestly understand where you’re coming from, but it might be somewhere he loves too and wants to share that with his partner. You’re allowed to feel crap about it for a little bit though 💐

How niche is the place? If it’s like Paris or something then YABU, if it’s like the rock shaped like a fish on the west side of a beach in Norfolk or whatever then YANBU - that’s a sentimental couple’s spot.

I would try and put it out of your mind in any event - you split up a long time ago. Do you think maybe your feelings about this are tied up in discontent about your own romantic life?

It was 8 years ago OP! Have you considered counselling? It could help to discuss it and try and resolve these feelings

I felt mild contempt when my ex took his current wife to some of 'our' places, ones that I'd actually introduced him too, like he didn't even have the imagination to work some out on his own. Move on OP, fully and totally.

Im sorry op, that's hard 😔

YANBU OP.

It’s a tale as old as time. I’ve found exes really lack imagination and just take a new partner to the old haunts. Just be relieved he’s an ex!

Why haven't you blocked him already? I blocked mine immediately after the breakup. We still occasionally communicate over the phone about logistics and he would sometimes send happy birthday and merry Christmas messages but I have absolutely no knowledge or interest about his personal life.
I am also close with his sister but we don't discuss him ever. So being in touch with his family doesn't mean you have to follow his SM accounts. You making it way harder for yourself than it needs to be.

She does in the OP she’s seen this information because they have mutual friends who have been tagged in a post… it doesn’t suggest she’s still following him

Blocking his new girlfriend would have prevented her from seeing her tagging mutual friends. This could have been done as soon as she found out he was seeing her.

They broke up 8 years ago… and as she said she thought she was fine with it. I think it’s odd to rush to block random people when you don’t think you’ve got a problem with it.

It's not odd if you want to recover from the breakup. I've read OP's post, you don't need to continue repeating it to me. I don't particularly care whether she does or doesn't follow her ex, I am just saying that being friends with people you broke up with is not always best when you want to get over them. For a specific reason that you may not know what will trigger you or when it might happen.

You might have read the OP but clearly didn’t pay much attention to what she wrote.

OP social media is not a good idea. Perhaps it’s time to delete your accounts…you’d be none the wiser. Do whatever you need to do to move on.

That’s a very long time now op, you split up 8 years ago. Have you not met anyone else?

I'm not following any of his accounts. His new partner tagged his family member in photos as she is there with them and so it came up on my feed. I don't have anything to do with my ex anymore, just some of his lovely family.

Sorry op i would say YABU as it’s really not healthy to be this down about a relationship that ended so long ago.

I would consider counselling and i would also agree with the recommendation you block your ex on all social media.

If it’s still continuing to upset you, i would also part ways with his family members. This situation doesn’t sound good for you at all.

Why on earth do have the ability to see what they are up too, remove any online ability to see updates, ypu really dont need to this to yourself, it is very needy

Op your response here is really uncalled for.

I think the poster is correct, unless i have misunderstood.

You said in your op that you saw the posts as the new gf tagged family members you are still friends with. So pp is saying if you had blocked the new gf straight away, this would prevent you from seeing any of her of her posts regardless of who she has tagged.

Called pp stupid was nasty and the only person here wasting your time on all this is you.

It’s ok to feel sad for a minute. It’s not ok to wallow in it.
if it was me, I’d be unfollowing the family, what’s the need to keep the connection.

Behave yourself. You’re upset, it happens, but calling the PP stupid is absolutely uncalled for. The PP is correct - if you block the GF you won’t see what she posts even if ex family is tagged in it. It’s got nothing to do with following the GF.

That was very rude. Especially when the poster is correct in what she has explained about blocking the girlfriend.

Just because you visited somewhere with an ex partner doesn’t mean you must never go back!

Why do you have to be so obnoxious? Grow up.