To feel incredibly sorry for myself?

[Carlie97]

I broke up with my ex in 2018 after ten years together. I noticed on social media that he'd met someone new after years of being single. He did meet someone shortly after we broke up and that hurt like crazy when I found out, but life moves on. When I found out he'd started seeing this one, I was absolutely fine and even wished him well in my head, however I've seen today on social media (I'm still in touch with some of his family on social media) that him and his girlfriend are away in the place we used to go together and the place I love so dearly. She has tagged family members im still in touch with who are there too which is how ive seen the posts on SM. I still go regularly on my own to this place but I'm devastated.

And clearly you are very nasty. Absolutely no need for that.

did you introduce him to this place or is it a place that he and his family go? Sounds like that if they’re all together?

Whereas getting upset over this is a super productive way to spend time 🙄

I didn't say anywhere in my post that you follow his girlfriend. I said that blocking her would prevent you from seeing what she posts on your friends' accounts. You don't have to follow someone in order to block them.
There is no need for ad hominem attack just because you don't like my suggestions of how to solve this issue going forward.

Who knows, maybe it was her special place before ever meeting your ex? Sounds like you might want to explore why this has upset you so much, especially as from the OP it sounds like you broke up with him? Personally I think you should cut ties with his family members and move on.

Wow, way to lose sympathy @Carlie97! That was uncalled for.

What is it specifically that upsets you about them going there? You said you still go there yourself and enjoy it which suggests the association isn’t purely based on your relationship with him. Why did you break up? Have you dated anyone since? 8 yrs is a long time to still feel this deeply. A wistful moment? maybe, devastation? seems very extreme.

It is totally understandable the seeing someone you loved once doing the same thing that you used to do as a couple would make you feel this way. It’s okay to think about it and feel sad.

It's been nearly a decade since you split.

What have you been doing in the meantime?

It's understandable to have pang of nostalgia if you've randomly seen this post about this place where they are together, but major sadness and feeling down seems an over reaction after so much time has elapsed. Have you considered therapy?

My best friend is quite sentimental and often associates places with her ex husband...but she's been going back to them places with different friends to create different memories. Maybe you should do that too...looks like your ex has done the same. Also to avoid future heartache stop following his family members on SM, as you will always see something that might trigger you off. Protect your peace.

I would disagree this is normal after 8 years. It’s also one thing feeling sad, it’s another to ‘feel incredibly sorry for yourself’.

Your reaction does seem a bit over the top. You mention still going to this place yourself, albeit on your own. What if you met someone in the future or even just took a friend, would you not ever do that because it was somewhere you went with an ex? Imagine how many places might get ruled out if people didn't go somewhere they used to with an ex partner.
Yes it's a bit sad but you need to move on from this.

Wow. You're rude!
That poster was right. If you'd blocked his new GF (which you can do without following her first) you wouldn't have seen anything.
Alternatively, it's been almost a decade, probably time to move on.

I think what the poster means is that if you block his GF (regardless of not following her) even if she tags family members you are still friends with, her post wouldn’t come up on your feed as you have blocked her; likewise if the family member tagged her in something, you would see the post, but not that she is tagged or referenced. I had to do this for similar reasons and it saved me a lot of heartache.

Well I read your OP and thought you seemed quite immature (You broke up in 2018 FFS) but thought I’d keep reading and give you the benefit of the doubt.

My initial impression was correct.
What a completely uncalled for response.

Your reaction to both your ex and his partner's trip and to a previous poster you called stupid for no reason both indicate you need serious help. Get yourself into therapy and work on yourself so you can stop playing the victim and obsessing over things that shouldn't concern you.

Yes, mine did this also.
Sheer and utter laziness on their part, she can have him!
Will find out herself soon enough!

If this had have been within a year of the break up I would understand why you are upset. But as you broke up in 2018, I think YABU. You don't get to expect he never visits a place with his partner just because you love it.

You are rude and unreasonable.

I'm struggling to feel sorry for you after you called a stranger on the internet 'very stupid'.

It sounds like your ex has moved on, and found the places you visited special enough to visit them with his new love. Surely that's a compliment to the relationship and special times you had?

I'm also keen to know why you ended the relationship. And are you keen to pursue a new relationship or are you enjoying single life?

Unnecessarily rude. The PP meant if you block his girlfriend, the posts she tags his relatives in won’t come up on your feed so perhaps you should read the post fully before commenting?

You were together a decade and broke up 8 years ago so I assume you must be at least mid 30s? Maybe time to grow up and move on. I know break ups are hard but you have been separated now for almost the same amount of time you were together. He’s clearly moved on, I suggest you do too.

It’s time you cut off his family on SM.

You are effectively self harming by staying in contact.

And this rude comment has lost any sympathy from me

there is no need for it

you broke up 8 years ago and have chosen to remain friends on sm /real life with some of his family. You can’t therefore be surprised if any girlfriend of his ex will also do the same and hence you see the post. Do you expect them not to make friends with their boyfriend’s family? The norm is you would not be remaining in contact with them

likewise he has the right to take his girlfriend to any place he likes.

block her now and get on with your life

Wow calling someone very stupid is uncalled for. People are only trying to help, maybe get some therapy and grow up yourself. After 8 years you shouldn’t be feeling sad over an ex. The only stupid one I see is you for still following an ex’s family on sm that aren’t your family.

Find put what? And ex moves on people do it is normal, men do it women do it people dont always stay with the same person it is not abnormal to move on

Op, you didn’t respond to if you have met someone, I’m guessing the answer is no. Do you want to be with this man? Were you thinking he was single as he couldn’t replace you? What’s behind your feelings, if you can try to understand that it may help you move on.