To think that stimming (especially destructive or very intense) is potentially not helpful or even harmful in the long run?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

I’ve seen a lot of advice that stimming behaviour in individuals with autism or adhd is helpful and regulating, however instinctively this feels wrong to me.

The brain is plastic and can be trained to expect certain things and I feel like that failing to redirect ourselves or our children to more healthy ways of experiencing overwhelm is only making stimming worse. And possibly the overwhelm worse in the long term.

this is backed up by several Reddit threads, where people said allowing themselves to stim, made the stimming worse, but the mainstream opinion is to let the stimming happen.

Instead of teaching life skills and how to get through day in an off ten overstimulating world, is it healthier to rely on potentially problematic behaviour as a way of getting by.

I know I’m probably kicking a hornets nest here, but this is not to suggest that ALL stimming is bad or anything like that. We don’t know everything about the brain or our behaviour, so I think it’s good to discuss things so we can work towards helping everyone rub along together. I hope this makes sense.

Far better my son flaps his hands than punch a wall.

Not sure you fully under what stimming is OP or what falls under ‘stimming’.

'This is backed up by several reddit threads'

Yes so proper evidence then?!

Far better to stim than self injury/meltdown etc.

Instead of teaching life skills and how to get through day in an off ten overstimulating world, is it healthier to rely on potentially problematic behaviour as a way of getting by.

You are conflating two separate issues here. Stimming (at least for me) happens when I am already overstimulated. At that point stimming IS the coping strategy. I do have skills which allow me to cope in overstimulating environments or, I should say, to modify my environment to avoid overstimulation. However, this is not always possible and if I reach the point of no return that's when stimming is the only coping mechanism I have left for self-regulation.

I think it really depends. Stimming does serve a purpose for the individual whether that is to relieve anxiety, show excitement, focus on something, regulate etc. Can you teach an autistic child not to stim? Yes, in theory. But teaching them not to doesn’t remove the feeling that actually causes the stimming and so unless you also removed that all you’re going to do is cause more stress which then leads to something far worse. As PP says rather flap hands than punch a wall.

Being trained to suppress stims actually just causes more anxiety, masking which leads to burn out or shut down, it’s not particularly helpful other than I suppose to adults or kids who don’t want to see anything other than “the norm” and that really isn’t a priority.

If it’s harmless, I don’t see why you would be too bothered.

Depends on the stimming behaviour no parent would "allow" destructive stims but I can bet my temu boots some adults have taken advantage and said they are stimming when they are just being cunty

Adults are the reason children are being failed

Sorry, what’s your expertise or even experience with ND children/adults? Also have you heard of actual quantitative and qualitative evidence based, peer reviewed evidence?! … Reddit is not a credible source BTW

We let my autistic DS stim when he needed to. Before he started Secondary school, we did have a chat about how his stims might be perceived by kids who didn't know him.

He's 16 now and stims a lot less than he used to. So his brain didn't get hardwired into a more-more-more loop. He doesn't stim at all at school.

I guess my question is. Just because it looks harmless, it doesn’t mean it is or there aren’t better ways of navigating things that we haven’t figured out yet.

We are animals and if you have a dog that incessantly chases its tail, no it’s not hurting anyone, but do you think that’s good for the dog mentality? Or do you think it’s better to interrupt and redirect to something less repetitive.

I am particularly wondering if intense repetitive behaviour in itself is not good for the brain if that makes sense.

and just because experts are currently thinking one thing, it doesn’t mean it’s right or they won’t change their minds.

Whilst I’m not an expert I have personal experience myself and my husband and family members children so I am not ignorant of neurodivergence.

If the autistic person's stimming hurts themselves or others, then yes, helping them find something healthier is a good idea.

If it's something like hand flapping? Get over it. Don't tell children they're wrong or bad for doing something which calms them down just because other people might think it's weird.

I hope you're not a parent of a child who stims.
I'm autistic and I stim, to try and hold it in would be physically painful. I've learned ways to do it subtly in public, but when I'm at home I can be free to do as I like as long as it isn't hurting anyone. Children should also be free to do it as they like as long as they aren't hurting anyone.

Oh, well if Reddit backs up your argument, then you must be right! 🙄

Reddit hardly counts as evidence.

Do you realise that everyone 'stims' to some extent - things like hair twirling whilst on the phone, whistling/humming when happy or pen tapping in meetings is also stimming. Try to go for the next 24hrs only sitting perfectly upright in the 'correct' posture on your chair, being totally still when standing and making no extraneous movements with your limbs, head or face whatsoever (like a robot) and see how unnatural it feels and how much extra processing effort it takes up!

I'm going to start telling people I went to the university of Reddit to back up talking absolute bollocks.

Instinctively to you doesn’t mean that’s the answer though. And try getting someone who needs a release to not show that energy, it’s actual cruelty. We’re the problem op, people! We need to not judge and talk to people who stim the way we would anyone else

It’s a moot point.

Repetitive behaviour is part of an autism diagnosis and autistic people can no more stop stimming than somebody with a physical disability who limps can stop limping.

I have autism and ADHD. Stimming helps me when I start feeling anxious, it usually allows me to self-regulate and to cope in the situation without becoming over-whelmed. I used to avoid stimming in public because I know it isn’t always socially acceptable but when I become completely overwhelmed the only coping mechanism that works is self-harm. I have developed less-obvious stims which still offer me sensory feedback without drawing too much attention but I am also less bothered now if people notice, stimming to avoid overwhelm is far more preferable to trying to mask/ suppress my stimming and becoming so overloaded I need to hurt myself as soon as I get home.

Specifically what type of stimming bothers you?

Please note however, that I don’t think someone who references their ‘research’ as Reddit, is actually for real!

Why do you think your instinct is superior to the breath of research on the subject and the lived experience of people with autism?

No, you obviously cannot train a brain to be autistic, and the suggestion is insulting. If a brain requires a certain sensory input, you might be able to train someone to mask, but they will be distressed.

My experience as a dm to an autistic dc is that whenever someone talks about "teaching life skills" they really mean "stopping your dc's autism from bothering others".

I’m not really sure you understand “stimming” and what it actually is. Politely I would advise really understanding it before trying to drive a debate. If you can’t put together an intelligent, knowledgeable point to start the discussion then it just becomes everyone’s job to educate you first. Perhaps educate yourself first on what you think you’re seeing and exactly how you think a more adaptive response can be achieved. Also think carefully about how this adaptive response needs to be achieved in a way that is not harmful.
You’re coming from a behavioural perspective and we know now just how damaging behaviour interventions such as ABA have been to people with autism.

Probably anything that marks an individual out as different. OP reads as someone who can’t handle any deviation from what she perceives as normal.

My DS stims a LOT by bouncing on his heels and uttering a little groany noise. It’s how we know he's content. If he’s unwell or unhappy the stimming stops and we are always relieved her hear him resume his bouncing again. Politely, OP, you know very little about this and probably need to have a lot more experience of being around neurodiverse individuals before you make sweeping conclusions about their natural behaviours.

I thought stimming was just involuntary habits that would be difficult to break. My son bites himself, which is quite upsetting, as a hard lump has now formed on his wrist from the frequency of biting himself. I have showed doctors and specialists, but none of them seem to be concerned at all