Daughter won't use sensible security precautions for her belongings?

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It drives me nuts that DD2 pays so little attention to taking care to protect herself and her belongings when travelling. She has just left to spend the w/e in London with friends. She asked to borrow the drawstring Uniqlo bag that I bought as a beach bag and stuffed a few overnight things into it. It's fine for non valuable items but things can fall out and more importantly it is a gift to pickpockets. She uses her phone for everything, her rail ticket and paying her way using Apple Pay.
Where I are you going to keep your phone I asked, you do know not to use your back pocket?? Off she went, bag on shoulder, phone in hand.

Last time her phone was stolen (in London) I helped her buy a new one, paying up front before receiving the insurance money. I didn't make her pay me back the difference between insurance and full price. (I refuse to have phones on contract and use giffgaff goody bags). Today I had to bite my tongue not to say what my mother would have said "Don't expect me to help you buy a new phone if you lose this one". I really try not to turn into my mother but the same thoughts are there even if I stop myself from saying them. She is absolutely on her own this time. She previously lost a phone dropping it down one of the loos at Glastonbury and received an insurance payout plus help from Mum. I doubt she will get a third insurance payout and as it's our household insurance I'm not sure I would want to put it to the test and give us a bad record.

I bought her a foldie over the shoulder bag (they were 2 for 1 and I wanted one for myself) and she did appreciate it and uses it for foreign travel. It has lots of pockets and inner hidden pockets to secure items like phones and bank cards and if you don't over fill it can wear it unobtrusively under your coat.
But apparently it's not cool in London. I guess I just have to shrug and leave her to it, there's only so much one can do and the bank of Mum is closed this time. Maybe I should have pre-warned her about that but couldn't bring myself to echo my own mother.

https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E483802-000/00?colorDisplayCode=19&sizeDisplayCode=999

https://the-foldie.co.uk/products/the-foldie%C2%AE-sling-bag

If she’s old enough to go to London for the weekend with her mates she’s only enough to face the natural consequences of her stuff gets lost or stolen. We all learn various lessons in life but i guess it can be hard as a parent to feel like you can see the future coming! Dont use the fact you’ve bailed her out previously against her. That was your choice.

Surely she’s an adult if she’s spending weekends in London with friends? It’s up to her what precautions she takes, but you are right to not pay for her mistakes

Is she not wearing a coat? That’s where i’d keep my phone

This would drive me potty. I’m careful with my belongings and so are my dcs. But I think I’ve trained them up this way from when they were little. So if we were at a soft play or toddler group I get them to bring me any clothes they took off to put in my bag, rather than leave them somewhere. I’d check we had all our stuff before we left. As teenagers I tell them to use a handbag instead of pockets because it’s more practical and safer. I haven’t been very chilled about it. They have friends who have lost or broken phones, they are quite shady about it.

I think they know if they lost their iPhones, they would have to go without or get something a lot cheaper.

She will have to learn the hard way. Hopefully she doesn’t leave her bag on the train.

Her problem to sort out.

As long as you keep bailing her out, she'll never learn. Why would she?

Part of being a parent to adult children is to step back and allow them to make mistakes- and accept the consequences. It is how they learn to become responsible.
We have to bite our tongue and step back at times, even if we see them taking a course of action that isn't the most sensible.
That way our relationship with our adult children is preserved.
They are allowed to make mistakes, as did we at that age.

Plenty of people live and commute in London with normal backpacks, handbags, and phones in their hand or jacket pocket.
I have never needed a bag to hide under my coat... And never got my phone stolen...

Fair enough she should be paying attention to her surroundings, particularly in busy and touristy places, but you're paranoid.

(You don't say how old she is, but no if she loses her phone you shouldn't pay for a new one)

My DC are 19 and 17. I stopped bailing them out for lost property at 16. I have provided them with appropriately secure bags and clothing, it's on them if they don't use them properly.

there has to be some negative consequence for her to learn. ie no phone for a week til the insurance money comes through or no phone at all til she saves for a new one or whatever. only after that will she learn!

if another phone goes missing, if i would worry about her without one i’d get a £20 basic one with no internet for her.

you keep baling her out means she doesn’t value her things as youll replace them. stop.

She needs to learn not to lose her phone, but there's nothing special that she needs to do in London - coat pocket, jeans pocket, or even in your hand as long as you're not waving it about are all fine

Most people in london do not get their phone robbed

I rarely used a bag when I lived in central London and my phone lived in my back pocket or coat pocket, never lost it.

I presume she is at least 18 if she's doing this, and therefore it is entirely her responsibility to take care, or not, of her belongings. Do not bail her out again. And you know the vast majority of people in London don't have their phone stolen each day.

My phone is constantly in my back pocket. Nothing has happened yet

Stop bailing her out, make it clear now.

My DD is the same.
Carries stuff around in tote bags with phone in hand and driving license (for ID) kept in the phone case. Did have a bag with a zip but stuffed it so full the zip burst.

Won’t listen to “sensible” advice and has lost loads of stuff.

I now refuse to get involved with getting or paying for replacements.

Exactly- yet! Amazed at the casual attitude to something so important, and expensive . Apart from that , one day it will end up in the toilet!

Is this a stealth plug for that Foldie bag 🤔

Stop bailing her out, but also stop nagging!
She’s a grown-up. Leave her alone.

A few weeks ago I was sood at a busy city centre bus stop and noticed a lady about 50 ish ( same age as me ) with her large handbag on her shoulder, the bag was open with her purse and keys very clearly on top within very easy grabing distance.
So I quietly warned her and she yelled at me that it's up to her where she keeps her purse .
Well yes it is but ffs

Sounds like she’s an adult who needs to take responsibility for her own actions and sometimes that means learning the hard way.

If you can remember your own mum saying similar things to what you want to say then it sounds likely that you were the same when you were younger and have presumably grown up to learn otherwise.

Londoner here.
No one could care less about what bag she has packed her clothes in or what she is carrying around. It’s crowded and people are too busy trying to get to where they need to get to and have their own problems to deal with.

Having said that a cool looking open bag if she is wandering around touristy places. It’s flying the Pick Me flag for pick pockets

Weirdest bag advert ever.

This!

Are you sellling foldie bags? Stop bailing her out - you’re enabling her.