Daughter won't use sensible security precautions for her belongings?

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It drives me nuts that DD2 pays so little attention to taking care to protect herself and her belongings when travelling. She has just left to spend the w/e in London with friends. She asked to borrow the drawstring Uniqlo bag that I bought as a beach bag and stuffed a few overnight things into it. It's fine for non valuable items but things can fall out and more importantly it is a gift to pickpockets. She uses her phone for everything, her rail ticket and paying her way using Apple Pay.
Where I are you going to keep your phone I asked, you do know not to use your back pocket?? Off she went, bag on shoulder, phone in hand.

Last time her phone was stolen (in London) I helped her buy a new one, paying up front before receiving the insurance money. I didn't make her pay me back the difference between insurance and full price. (I refuse to have phones on contract and use giffgaff goody bags). Today I had to bite my tongue not to say what my mother would have said "Don't expect me to help you buy a new phone if you lose this one". I really try not to turn into my mother but the same thoughts are there even if I stop myself from saying them. She is absolutely on her own this time. She previously lost a phone dropping it down one of the loos at Glastonbury and received an insurance payout plus help from Mum. I doubt she will get a third insurance payout and as it's our household insurance I'm not sure I would want to put it to the test and give us a bad record.

I bought her a foldie over the shoulder bag (they were 2 for 1 and I wanted one for myself) and she did appreciate it and uses it for foreign travel. It has lots of pockets and inner hidden pockets to secure items like phones and bank cards and if you don't over fill it can wear it unobtrusively under your coat.
But apparently it's not cool in London. I guess I just have to shrug and leave her to it, there's only so much one can do and the bank of Mum is closed this time. Maybe I should have pre-warned her about that but couldn't bring myself to echo my own mother.

https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E483802-000/00?colorDisplayCode=19&sizeDisplayCode=999

https://the-foldie.co.uk/products/the-foldie%C2%AE-sling-bag

I'm in London three or more days a week and don't take security precautions particularly more than when I'm at home in a village in Kent and I've never had anything stolen other than when I had a stupid bag that didn't fasten properly in Piccadilly Circus in 1999.

i thought you were going to say she was 16! She’s a grown up! If the gets stuff stolen she sorts it out. I wouldn’t even be asking what security measures she’s taking to safeguard her belongings.

I use my phone for everything too. In a big city I would be inclined to keep it in my coat pocket with hands in my pockets if I felt unsafe at any stage. I was almost mugged in Paris by a group of kids no less and this is precisely what I did, kept my hands firmly clamped down in my pockets so they got nada. Did she not have a coat on? My DS puts his phone in an inside pocket in his coat.

Urgh all these posts about young people who don't look after their stuff. Just don't replace it. They learn quick enough. Yes, they will be very upset about it - thats life, its not your job to insulate them from the consequences of their own poor choices or they become kidults who take responsibility for nothing.

Why would you even buy a basic £20 phone? It probably wouldn't see day light let alone get used. Like certain bags, clothles styles 'so not cool' 😀
If d can go to London and presumably has money to spend where is that coming from? She can save up and buy her own.

She's 25 ?? Oh ffs get a grip OP, she's not a child needing a hand hold crossing the street.

what mother wants to leave her kid without a phone nowadays, there arent phone boxes on every corner if a young woman is needing help perhaps alone at night.

yes she will hate it having no internet. but it would hopefully be in the bottom of her bag, embarrassing and unseen by pals, if she needs it.

that’s my point. safe but inconvenienced. next time she gets a good phone perhaps she will look after it better.

wait - shes twenty fucking five oh ffs shes an adult.
i take back what i said.
let her crack on and save for her own phone.

i was out the house at 17. life was hard. my job didnt pay much. i was thinking how i felt then.
shes 25 shes all the woman she’s gonna be.

"My phones always in my back pocket and I've never had any problems"

Nobody has, until they do.

She hasn’t taken precautions because you bailed her out. She’ll soon learn when you don’t!

My dd is the same age (we live in London) and last week someone tried to steal her bag but failed and in the process it ripped open and her phone fell out. In the kerfuffle she didn’t realise it was gone but a TFL worker saw it and kept it and she was reunited with it. Sometimes despite all precautions there’s nothing you can do. Let her crack on but just stop bailing her out!

I’d tell her that you won’t be claiming again on the home insurance if it gets lost as it’ll bump your premium up.

She is bloody 25, she can replace her own phone.

edited to add I hadn’t seen your subsequent post when you learned her age - sorry

Those foldies look nice I'd get one.

She's 25, she can buy her own phone. mum does not need to buy her one even a basic.
I know on MN we infantise kids up to their 30's and beyond but the little cherubs must learn to take some responsibility at some point in their lives.🙄

I lived in London for 25 years and never got anything stolen from my bag or pocket. I did, however, have my whole bag stolen several times - until I stopped using higher-end handbags. If you're unreasonably worried about theft, a casual throw-it-over-your shoulder bag is way better than a top quality one or a bag that screams "Security Bag! Must contain valuables!"

Plus, the Uniqlo one looks cool.

I voted Yabu because “I didn't make her pay me back the difference between insurance and full price.” - that’s the reason she’s not bothered about it.
Some lessons are learned the hard way, who cares if you sound like your mother - it makes sense to say you wont be helping her out if it happens again.

Equally, would you have expected your parents to pay for a new phone when you were 25? Can’t have it both ways.

well, it’s been 25 years so far, so I think I’ll probably be ok.

I live and work in London and have done my entire life. I’ve had a phone and a purse nicked once - both on separate occasions, and in both situations I was quite drunk and probably not looking after my belongings in the way I should 🤷🏻‍♀️ Of my lifelong-Londoner relatives (immediate and in-laws) and friends I can’t think of anyone who has had a phone or wallet stolen in the last ten or so years.

Yes, she should look after her stuff, and she shouldn’t expect you to subsidise replacements, but she won’t learn until she has a learning experience. London really isn’t the Big Bad everyone thinks it is. As a PP said, lots of us were married and mortgaged at 25!

I think this post could be a bit of a scam, hook and set up to get people to buy uniqlo and fold it bags.

Think pretend poster sends in feasible story about everyday problem.

Then outlines lots of information on how certain products and then supplier comprehensive information and links to the companies websites.

This tactic seems to be increasing on many blogs and sites and threads like Mumsnet.

Another sly way to increase sales and advertising revenue by being duped?

Just stop helping her pay for replacements- she'll realise being careless with her belongings means she doesn't have belongings- you are enabling her by stopping her feeling the consequences.

25 years old? Omg OP i thought she would be 18, 19 at most. As PPs have said she will learn by experiencing the consequences of her actions. So stop shielding her from them.

Sounds like your mum was a sensible soul who helped you learn how to be a responsible adult. By railing against her approach you are not helping your own daughter take responsibility for herself as you keep doing her thinking for her. Show some self respect and step back and at the same time show your adult daughter some respect by letting her look after her own stuff!

With Good Grace, avoid robbing your daughter of her personal development .

London isn’t that terrifying you know. Not great to walk around looking at it and not paying attention. But inside a bag or coat pocket? Fine.

That bag is fine for London I used to have a drawstring bag. You need to keep it in front of you on the tube though.

At 25 she needs to be insuring and buying her own phone and paying the excess if piggybacking yours.