Daughter won't use sensible security precautions for her belongings?

[ShamedBySiri]

It drives me nuts that DD2 pays so little attention to taking care to protect herself and her belongings when travelling. She has just left to spend the w/e in London with friends. She asked to borrow the drawstring Uniqlo bag that I bought as a beach bag and stuffed a few overnight things into it. It's fine for non valuable items but things can fall out and more importantly it is a gift to pickpockets. She uses her phone for everything, her rail ticket and paying her way using Apple Pay.
Where I are you going to keep your phone I asked, you do know not to use your back pocket?? Off she went, bag on shoulder, phone in hand.

Last time her phone was stolen (in London) I helped her buy a new one, paying up front before receiving the insurance money. I didn't make her pay me back the difference between insurance and full price. (I refuse to have phones on contract and use giffgaff goody bags). Today I had to bite my tongue not to say what my mother would have said "Don't expect me to help you buy a new phone if you lose this one". I really try not to turn into my mother but the same thoughts are there even if I stop myself from saying them. She is absolutely on her own this time. She previously lost a phone dropping it down one of the loos at Glastonbury and received an insurance payout plus help from Mum. I doubt she will get a third insurance payout and as it's our household insurance I'm not sure I would want to put it to the test and give us a bad record.

I bought her a foldie over the shoulder bag (they were 2 for 1 and I wanted one for myself) and she did appreciate it and uses it for foreign travel. It has lots of pockets and inner hidden pockets to secure items like phones and bank cards and if you don't over fill it can wear it unobtrusively under your coat.
But apparently it's not cool in London. I guess I just have to shrug and leave her to it, there's only so much one can do and the bank of Mum is closed this time. Maybe I should have pre-warned her about that but couldn't bring myself to echo my own mother.

https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E483802-000/00?colorDisplayCode=19&sizeDisplayCode=999

https://the-foldie.co.uk/products/the-foldie%C2%AE-sling-bag

I think you should buy her a money belt, personally.

Apart from that , one day it will end up in the toilet!

Phones have been waterproof for about 10 years now, you know.

Leg bags or another leg bag but at 25 it's really up to her to sort out how she carries things without them being lost or broken.

Sounds frustrating OP and she's had enough experience to know it pays to be careful. It's not just the money, it's the hassle of a phone/wallet being stolen and having to cancel things. I am not sure what else you can do other than not bailing her out if it happens again.

She can buy herself one. It wouldn't be any use for most people who, like OPs adult daughter, use apple pay.

Worked on me!! I've never heard of them and really need a new Cross body for travelling as my old Roka one is really tatty now.
And 241 lol.
Thank you OP if it is a clever SM plug.

If a genuine post then YABU as she's 25 and should be responsible for all these life issues herself now.

I’d leave her to crack on and not worry about it, don’t care about it more than she does.

But I would absolutely not enable her to replace it - not your house insurance and not by paying or letting her off the difference! Let her suffer the consequences of her own decisions.

Plus she is 25! time to do her own thinking on these things. Also I’m entirely unsurprised she wouldn’t wear the bag you bought her. Neither would I. The Uniqlo one is much nicer and, if she could be bothered, there’s lots of ways to make it pick pocket proof.

She has to learn as we did. step back and let her get on with. you cannot hold her hand forever

Exactly! I'm a sensible older person (62) and perfect for me. For a 25 YO it's a bit frumpy.
Free People do a fabulous cross body in leather which is much more fashion forward 🙂

25! Oh my God. Let her get on with it. If she loses it she pays. Stop bailing her out FGS.

Thanks for the casual sexism. There isn't nearly enough of that here on Mumsnet. 🙄

Why on earth are you treating her like a child? She is an ADULT. You are the reason she doesn't look after her things because Mummy will replace them.

They’ll learn the hard way!

Nagging is not dependent upon sex.

Stop trying to pick a fight where none exists.

@ShamedBySiri if she loses her phone then make sure you don't bail her out this time, otherwise she will never learn.

I'd go as far as pointing out that technically she still owes you money for the last phone she lost should she ask you to help out.

She needs to deal with the consequences herself.
Stop sorting stuff out for her.
You're doing her a disservice in the long term.

Are you a Free People advertiser? Cos you should be. I’ve just looked and I want it! It’s more than I typically spend on a bag though…but it’s soooo pretty…. (Actually not sure if it’s the one you mean cos the one I like is suede. I’m 61 if it matters).

I help my 25 year old dc out with many things but not if it’s down to their own stupidity.

Yes I’m sorry but I am not at all surprised that a 25 year old doesn’t want to use it!

Oh I wish 😂😂. I fall into their marketing trap every time as their imagery is the best out there.
I confess I was in the fashion business for decades and still dabble but something about Free people and what they select still draws me in. But I'm at the stage in life whereby The Foldie (terrible name BTW!) is just what I need.
This is the bag I love.
https://www.freepeople.com/uk/shop/hudson-suede-sling-bag2?color=035&size=One+Size&type=REGULAR

Th

I'm on a tight budget at the moment so not indulging but I'd buy it tomo in the pastel pink leather (if that's still available!) as it's been stuck in my head for about a year since I first saw it.
If you can afford it go for it 🙂. It's so useful

OP, stop offering advice, support of help.
She knows better.
Let her suffer the consequences.
She will not get it while you keep fixing.

I saw this years ago with friends and lI learnt from it.
Teenage sons loosing school uniform until they were paying for its replacement.
Funny how the first school item they paid for was the last time they lost something.

I voted YABU, mainly because you've taught her to be careless by paying for her phones.

Let her get one herself next time, and pay per month. There is no need to pay up front for an item that is already depreciating the minute it's manufactured. She can also contribute to the house insurance cover.

There's nothing wrong with turning into your mother. How many phones have you lost in the course of your lifetime?

Actually, it's very compatible (in terms of practicality) with my Dry robe (😱😱) which is the most useful, functional item of clothing I've ever owned in my life. I do now live by the sea (North facing and do sea swim all year so it's an essential item) and I've avoided the Dry Robe thread slating them as I adore mine and don't care how it looks. I do have to check myself when I pop up to London sometimes, not to default to it as my main coat.

That’s the one! I’ve convinced myself I can’t have it because it says it’s not colour fast and will mark my clothes.