I write this as I lay wide awake another night as my mind is spinning. I’ll try and summarise, I was with my ex for 7 years, 2 beautiful twins together, the relationship grew toxic over the years due to him making me feel unappreciated as a mother, I felt invisible and it led to me feeling resentful and i looked at him through a very negative lense, which he felt. It all came to blows last summer and he left, initially I felt shock, then relief, then sadness. We’ve never really had a transparent conversation about anything, initially it led to further conflict so he would say “see! this is why we’ll never work” and exit the conversation. But over the last few months we’ve grown back a lot of respect for each other and are being much kinder to each other, it’s been great and quite frankly, I’m desperate to give it another go (start dating each other, I’m not expecting him to move back in as i don’t want the kids to be impacted unless it’s going to work) the big BUT here is, he’s started dating someone and “really likes her” I'm devastated. I feel a greater pain and sadness than I did when he left, it’s obviously jealousy and rejection and loss all hitting me at once but I quite frankly can’t deal with it. I’m not sleeping or eating, I’m trying so hard to pour all my energy into my children but I have to keep leaving the room as I’m crying constantly. Has anyone experienced this. AIBU to want him back to this extent? I’m nervous to broach the subject with him as fear he’ll say he just doesn’t want to be with me (I did beg him to come home when he first told me about her) which I don’t want to revisit that for my own dignity. But I feel like my life/ future/ person I love is slipping away from me and I don’t know what to do,