Arguing with husband over finances

[fireflies9]

Hi all,
Im currently a sahm to my 6 month old. My husband had a go at me earlier because I asked him to pay for a £77 bill for baby supplies. I’m still on mat leave and get £680 per month after tax, I’m responsible for the groceries and babies supplies as well as anything I might want or need like my phone bill, nails, toiletries, clothes etc and gifts for peoples bdays, but this month I came up short and my account went into my overdraft so I asked him to cover the bill.
We both have separate accounts and separate savings. Our savings are very similar amounts but he has a lot more than me in his current account. He brings home about £60k after tax.
He usually gives me £200 a month but this month he couldn’t as he’s self employed and didn’t take as big of a salary so hence why I came up short.
He was arguing with me saying that he’s paid $$$$ this month for our holidays coming up and my new car (these will be monthly payments he’ll be paying for but hasn’t paid anything yet, I’m putting down the car deposit from my own savings) and that he ‘funds my life’ (bills + roof) so why can’t I be grateful and pay £77.
i understand where he’s coming from but I can’t keep paying for things out my savings otherwise I’ll have nothing left? Just to note, he never uses his savings for anything and we’ve said it’ll be my savings going on new house Reno. I’ve also asked him numerous times if he still wants me to be a sahm or should I go back to work and he’s adamant he wants me to be sahm unless I really want to go back (which I don’t).
Not sure if I’m being really ungrateful or if I need to set boundaries?

Don't give up work. You cannot rely on this man. He is telling you loud and clear what his priorities are...himself.

He wants you at home but he doesn't want to finance that.

So work out the cost of childcare and sit him down to make a plan as you can't afford to pay it on your own. That's he's showing signs of being controlling with money and you now realise that you staying at home won't work.

Tell him to stick the holiday up his arse and you'll sort out your own car.

THIS 👆

It's not 'as long as', it's a simple case of cutting out non-essentials and redirecting this money towards paying down debt and essentials. Nails are not essential.

So you think it’s fine if he still has lots of disposable money but she’s the only one who should cut out non-essentials?

Or the father can actually, y'know, grow the fuck up and contribute.

Why is it 'his' savings and yours. My DH out earns me. We do have separate accounts but savings money is interchangeable between us. I'll use mine to pax his tax bill he'll use his to top up my ISA etc. That was the whole point of getting married to me. During mat leave all money was ours and I had free access to our joint current account which he paid pretty much all of our income into. I'd ask him why he is content for his wife to have a lower standard of living than him.

@goz @NemesisInferior My advice was financial. Sure, she's married to a knobhead but that would be a thread for the relationship forum. OP needs extra money, nix the non-essentials, there's your money.

Sure, you could cut out the husband too but that wouldn't help with the finances.

Im not trying to convince her of anything, just agreeing with the PP I quoted. It may be that she can use the answers on this thread to convince her DH though.