Has anyone on here ever made you cry?

[belvitias]

I’m embarrassed to say I have. I don’t really post much anyway. I usually just read and scroll, but I have let some comments get to me before.

One time, someone called me a cunt, which I know isn’t horrendously awful, but it just really got to me. In my 30 years, I think I’ve only used that word once when I called an ex that after I found out he cheated on me. People here throw that word around for the tiniest reasons.

Another time was when I shared my concerns about my sister’s new boyfriend. He was showing signs of being controlling and coercive, and I just didn’t think he was right for her. I was genuinely worried about her and wanted some advice. Omg, the backlash and comments from people asking if I was single, saying I must be because I sounded so bitter and jealous that she had a man. They were saying how lonely and sad I must be to try to ruin her relationship, just really personal and nasty. Yes, I admit it upset me.

I know you need to have thick skin on social media, but it can be hard sometimes. We’re all human at the end of the day. So, just out of curiosity, if you feel like sharing, has anyone on Mumsnet ever upset you that much?

Someone accidentally posted a gif of an elephant running in pink shoes within their post on a serious topic and I literally cried with laughter.

That you Bluntness1000000? 😵‍💫🤣

I was just about to type the same thing

Said poster had been more neutral in the thread but PM'd me to tell me how awful I was because I'd responded to the posters who were challenging me in thread and not directly to them (to thank them? I don't know)
Report this behaviour everytime. MN are quick enough to act when ppl are being awful.

Some people on here are nasty pieces of work so I’m not surprised by this

Nope. Just ignore, ignore ignore. People like that aren’t worth getting upset over. If someone calls you a C””” then it says a lot more about them than it does you.

No, never cried or lost sleep over it. This site is a funny old place, random strangers on here can be so kind, but some can be dreadfully and unnecessarily mean. I don't take stuff internet strangers say too seriously. They don't know me or the wider context of my life or experience and I don't know that about them either.

I've definitely been less kind on here than I would be IRL at times, because I guess the nature of a forum takes everyone's filters off to a degree. But in some cases not, like the thread where some hypnotherapist posted about chatting with a random suicidal person at night and was kinda humblebragging about it, but it was clear they had no idea about managing risk or safety. I definitely don't feel the need to be kind about people doing dangerous shit with other people's mental health, and really DGAF if they're upset about that. I'd have said exactly the same IRL if someone told me that to my face.

Interacting with randoms on social media or forums is very much something we have to do at our own risk, I think. It's wise to enter into engaging here bearing in mind that while there are basic rules in place, nobody on the internet owes us agreement, validation or kindness. I take breaks from being on here if I start to feel stewy about stuff other posters have said, or if I notice myself getting tempted to get into drawn out arguments, or being triggered by racism, ableism etc in a way that makes me want to clap back. People aren't going to change their ways or opinions because of an argument put forward by a stranger on the internet, it's not worth it.

Are they? At the time I wasn't in the right headspace to report, but I don't think I'd be confident on Mumsnet taking action, based on what I see is generally accepted on the forum. If it was something obviously full of insults maybe, but 'strong opinions' seems to be the culture here, which is why I tend to take time away if I need to.

Actually I was going to say the same thing because Im not sure how to describe it, but when someone posts about their relationship or something they're struggling with, you get a ton of posters saying the OP has got no self esteem, low bar, low standards, how can you be with someone like that, how can you be treated like this, you've got no self respect

And Im thinking, not one of them has offered any practical advice about how to either manage or to make plans for separation, just basic slagging someone off for being 'weak' or not resilient. There was a thread recently about an OP who had her daughters partner living with her due to family crisis and he was treating the home badly and treating her badly and rather than give practical advice it was all about how shit OP was to have 'allowed' this to happen to her!

If they didnt have low self esteem at the start of the thread they certainly would by then!!!

A lady posting about her 5 year old dying upset the hell out of me for days. Possibly the saddest thing I'd read

I wouldn't say to tears but I was a bit sensitive feeling when I was subject to a bit of a pile on for expressing an opinion that didn't align with the majority (I don't remember what the post was about or what my opinion was) I was in early pregnancy at the time which didn't help.

Unfortunately some people here can get quite nasty but it really is a reflection of themselves rather than anyone else so do try to ignore them.

I'm sorry you cried, OP. I agree there is a minority of really unpleasant people who post on MN. I try not to post anything too controversial because I want to avoid the nasties having a go at me. I guess that makes me a coward.

There are also a lot of really nice, decent, kind and knowledgeable people who post on here. I've learned a lot about different things because I come to MN.

Jesus Christ - that's so dark. I hope you know there are plenty of people out here who are horrified by the situation you are in.

Quite an “ordinary” thread a few months back talking about the greyness of the winter and how everything seemed hard going, brought tears to my eyes, because posters were recounting the daily challenges they were facing such as grief for a husband of over forty years, or the struggles of caring for a disabled child, or the abuse they were suffering from a partner, or ill health themselves. It was incredibly moving.

No one has brought me to tears because of arguing or being deliberately goady although some of the royal family threads have made me feel quite pissed off and irritated! 😁😆

No. But there was a time (about 6 years ago) where there were quite a few nasty women. They wrote horrible things about how my partner was going to leave me and then reported my post and had me banned. It was awful.

I think they aren’t on here anymore. They used to gang up on people and just be nasty and horrible.

Moved to tears, no. I have felt outrage, sorrow, deep pity, anger and even fear for posters but I've never cried about it.
I've had a think about it. Are my emotions only valid if there are tears?

No because the opinions of random strangers on the internet mean nothing to me. I laugh regularly at how stupid a lot of posters are though - this site is great for entertainment. I'm sure I could cry at individual situations though but I don't read those types of threads.

Not made me cry no but I was heavily pregnant and started a thread about a certain celebrity who had recently gone no make up which was unusual for her and I posted the pictures complimenting her, omg I was absolutely piled on, apparently I only started the thread to slag her off, how dare I comment on someone’s looks, I was a terrible person etc. It really upset me, maybe more so that hormones were amplified at the time but I remember thinking you can’t win either way on this website. There are some really miserable nasty people on here who’s mission it is to make people feel bad about themselves

I once wrote about my nasty and spoilt sd-i stand by it,she is nasty and spoilt

She has a mother that just threw money at her and her dad (my dp) is a soft touch and she tried to take full advantage

She hated me from day 1 and did her best to break us up

Some of what she did should have landed her a prison sentence-this was that serious

I wrote about this on a thread ages ago and some posters tried to hand me my arse saying 'how dare you call her spoilt?' 'your the nasty stepmother to an innocent child' (she was an adult) and 'you personally are the reason my dc will never have a stepmother'

I just laughed-these idiots hadn't welcomed her into their homes,hadn't tried to help her or had what she did thrown in their faces

I think I must have triggered one person and the rest saw a good pile on

I didnt report them as they where showing their own ignorance but others must have reported them as they did get deleted

But its really not personal because none of us know you. People are reacting to a very breif snapshot of your life that you present in a post. They’re bringing assumptions and their own experiences into their reactions.

Likewise, you don't know us. It's highly likely that most of us are not people whose options you'd want in real life!

I've been shredded on here...even had the exceptionally disrespectful, "I feel sorry for your children.", chucked at me.

I am not surprised people cry at some of the responses they receive on here.
I maintain that sadly, mumsnet isn't a great place to go if you're feeling emotionally fragile. There is some great support at times but it's just as likely to end up as a race to the bottom. A thread can take a nasty turn seemingly out of nowhere.

🙄

I particularly like 'you're a man' or 'you're misogynistic'

It seems that is apparently the worst insult someone can throw at someone on this site.

Yes, the first time I posted on here 14 years ago! There is more generalised nastiness now but there was certainly some then too. This was in Relationships - someone who was clearly a “character” back then created a pile on. I didn’t know enough about MN then 🤦🏻‍♀️

Although I did get some very kind DM’s 😊