To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

It’s absolutely not abusive , no.

Maybe you could sit them down and calmly explain the bills you are getting and ask that they prepare a roster so they can share the cooking and do it in batches.

You have no idea, we all lived on Marmite on toast at one point.

That concept that adults can have treats or better quality food while children can not is very foreign to me.
Hope that sharing food with own children is a normal concept to majority of families.

I dont know any science behind it. I am speaking from experience. I guess there is certain amout of energy that a thing needs to be cooked and if there is more food you need more of that energy. Similar to ie. cooking a small chicken vs. big chicken.

The concept that kids can have whatever they want and parents aren't entitled to anything despite them paying for it is alien to me.

I def ate better food than my DD2. She only had pesto pasta a nd chicken and rice whereas I had better stuff.

Can't say I've noticed it in oven. Is yours not a fan oven? It's true for microwaves

Yes, fan oven.
The most noticable was when cooking a tomatoe sauce on all 4 trays.
(I dont cook in a microwave.)

I wasnt talking about kids having anything they want. Interesting its what is seems to translate to you as.

In my family the whole family eat the same meal and same food like bread/butter/cheese/fruit/veg.

Is this a joke!! I’m sure Ops kids are lovely young men and far from entitled I’m sure. . Boys just go a bit funny over food.

You've deliberately misunderstood that poster's comment.

You say you all eat the same meal - as does OP. But what about the vast amount of extra food these boys are cooking and eating above and beyond that? They've made it clear that bread butter cheese fruit etc isn't enough for them, so you sharing that as a family isn't the point.

If I had 3 people in my house eating whatever they found with no consideration for other people or replacing it I'd be buying stuff for only my use too.

The cooking is only one side of the coin. The disrespect and lack of consideration is the key, the cooking is just a symptom of that.

But these boys are given the same food then want more . Different food.

If I ate the same as my DD2 Id have been extremely sick of it.

Many on here will advocate for parents going without to give more and more to their kids. Not just food but other stuff also. Like someone was saying about taking kids out of ONE of their 5 clubs a week to get a cleaner. Jumped on and told to cut back on their own stuff.

Can understand if kids were actually starved and then parents go without but all this treating kids as far more superior and important is ridiculous

Oh that was ridiculous! People saying to the OP that rather than drop one of the five clubs she should cut back on stuff for herself but the poor woman didn’t spend anything on herself anyway. She bought her shampoo from Lidl…maybe she could just do without that? Save the pennies from
that and spend them on the kids instead

Teenage boys are unfillable. I used to make a lot of homemade sweet and savoury bakes when the oven was already on for my 3. Helped a lot. Homemade sausage rolls, bread, flapjacks and cakes.
But they really do get hungry and if they’re cooking pasta that’s quite cheap!

I assume you're looking to find FT work elsewhere? Hope things work out for you.

Yes, and I'm also looking for another part time job, which I'd honestly prefer, as I love the people I work with, we're like a family. I'd rather not leave. Thanks, it's appreciated.

19 years old need to eat properly to finish growing.
Imagine you have a son who got totally shut down from trauma and hospital stay 3 weeks. Then COVID happened and this youngsters have their own thoughts about that time. Then life goes back to normal but the kid lost his appetite his sense of life...
Believe me as a mother it's much nicer to see your kid enjoying to feed himself rather than the opposite. So embrace the short time of adolescent humans in your home. Before you know it... You will miss the lively home because their all moved out, or went to University..
be grateful for his health, for your health for what life holds for you.

You are being unreasobanable. Kids should learn to cook and eat more healthily and learn life skills. Good on them. With parents like you wanting them to eat what seems to be mainly cereal and snacks it is no wonder there are so many overweigh and unhealyhy kids.

At least they aren’t calling for a Deliveroo. Feeding teenage boys was always going to be expensive and learning to cook for themselves is a life skill.

However, do ask that they co-ordinate and all cook together, so the oven isn’t going in multiple times. Request that they meal plan and hopefully they can figure out a way to be more efficient.

I agree it drives you nuts! Theyre like locusts at that age & so picky ..never want to eat whats made for them & then argue theres nothing to eat!

I bought an airfryer which is much cheaper to run but apart from that I never found a solution as even if I made a one pot chilli or curry, or pizza, they'd never want to eat it...they do grow out of it though (total self absorption) round 22 ish ..good luck 😉

@Boysfood you realise this is what growing/teenage boys do .

They are hungry .

Bye small air fryer for burger sausages etc .however this won’t stop them cooking pasta

They're hungry! It seems unreasonable to ask your kids not to feed themselves. But honestly, cooking doesn't use that much electricity, even if you have the stove/oven on all day long. Either you need a new oven/stove if your current one is VERY old, or the high bills are due to something else.

Said by someone who isn't struggling financially.

Y@Boysfood you realise this is what growing/teenage boys do .

If you allow them to, yeah. If your expectations are on the floor, definitely.

Hungry people can be respectful. Hungry people can do what's asked of them. Hungry people can compromise. Hungry people can buy their own air fryers.

Stop making their excuses for them.

Reading between the lines I think there may be a problem with communication between you and the boys. I can’t work out whether they are being generally disrespectful or whether you are quite stressed and trying to assert yourself, and they are responding badly to this. Either way, I suspect the problem is not really the amount they are cooking but more that you are living with three young men who you are finding to be completely unconcerned about your worries.

I would recommend relaxing about it for a bit (because it won’t make any difference to the actual situation anyway since they are ignoring your requests). Try to soften towards them, let go of the stress you are feeling, listen to something relaxing and try to genuinely see things from their point of view.

My hope for you is that if you soften and invest more in enjoying your sons’ company and the fact you have three healthy children, they might feel that loving energy coming from you and may soften in response to you, and perhaps at some point you can have a proper conversation about it all.

You might find Tara Brach’s talk “The Sacred Art of Listening” helpful. It’s available on her website or on YouTube. I’ve spent many hours listening to her talks and always find them helpful and calming.

Wishing you all the best.