Page 38 | To ban cooking for teenage boys

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 21:18

I’ll bet most people would have a real issue if this was a woman whose DP wouldn’t allow her to have more than one hot meal a day, or if he was complaining that the cost of electricity to cook food was too much. It’d be considered controlling/mean/abusive; but because these are children (who are being charged to cover the use of the electricity BTW), it’s okay.

TheAutumnCrow · 20/02/2026 21:40

What about if it were three teenage daughters?

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 20/02/2026 22:02

Cherrytree86 · 20/02/2026 20:38

@BeAvidHiker

But OP is offering them plenty of healthy meal/snack options, they’re just not hot ones. It’s not that the lads have to cook a load of sausages or get a takeaway.

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No, she wants them eating cereal. Which isn't filling.

Yestothis · 20/02/2026 22:06

It's mad how people have fixed opinions on how much these people are eating without knowing portion sizes.

Pherian · 20/02/2026 22:27

Boysfood · 18/02/2026 10:03

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

You can get a grip.

Pherian · 20/02/2026 22:30

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 21:18

I’ll bet most people would have a real issue if this was a woman whose DP wouldn’t allow her to have more than one hot meal a day, or if he was complaining that the cost of electricity to cook food was too much. It’d be considered controlling/mean/abusive; but because these are children (who are being charged to cover the use of the electricity BTW), it’s okay.

Boys are expensive. My energy bill is £300 a month. My food bill is similar or more . I’d never dream of saying you can only eat “this”.

Thechaseison71 · 20/02/2026 22:30

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 17:55

I think your problem is that you have more kids than you can afford. I would have stopped at one or two. As a parent, you have a responsibility to feed, clothe and house them. And yes, teenage boys eat a lot. That’s the way it is. Once the younger two hit 18, you can start charging them too, as you are with the 19 year old. That should help with the electricity bill.

I'm sure they have a father as well. How about his share of the expenses or is it just left to her because he's not around?

Thechaseison71 · 20/02/2026 22:31

Pherian · 20/02/2026 22:30

Boys are expensive. My energy bill is £300 a month. My food bill is similar or more . I’d never dream of saying you can only eat “this”.

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Guess you have more than £ 1500 for example coming in then else you might feel differently

Lunde · 20/02/2026 22:37

ForNoisyCat · 20/02/2026 15:20

they should cook for her

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but she doesn't like the food they cook - that why the boys have to buy it with their own money

TheMrsCampbellBlack · 20/02/2026 22:37

If you can't afford you feed your children things are pretty dire. This is heartbreaking I can't imagine rationing my children's food.

Stopsnowing · 20/02/2026 22:41

C8H10N4O2 · 18/02/2026 10:47

I would assume the PPs wetting themselves with excitement that boys are actually cooking and telling you to ignore the bills have more money and useless sons than sense. I assume these are also the posters who when someone posts about the selfish DH who has eaten the family dinner as a snack leaving the fridge empty accuse OPs of being “controlling”.

My boys cooked as much as the girls - we made sure they could by involving them early so the fact of being able to cook is a good thing. The treating of your home as a freerange restaurant whilst you are cooking meals for them is not a good thing.

If they want to eat later than the rest of you - that is what microwaves/airfryers do best, the reheating of a late dinner. At their age what might be worth a try is making them all sit down with you to plan the week’s food/menu and go through costs with them. They should be old enough to understand bills and costs so give them the problem of coordinating what they need and separating that from what they want. Its frankly not healthy to be eating processed meat every morning so what options would they go for? Get them to help work out a menu which fills them up without breaking the bank.

Its unreasonable for any teen to treat their home as a glorified restaurant which brings hardship on the whole family. That selfishness is what I’d focus on along with tasking them with building a menu for the week.

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This. It is great that they cook but they need to do so in the context of a family home ie.
they should plan, shop and prepare a week’s worth of meals
between them - not keep topping up what you do.

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 22:51

Thechaseison71 · 20/02/2026 22:30

I'm sure they have a father as well. How about his share of the expenses or is it just left to her because he's not around?

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Well if he’s buggered off, and is no longer in the picture, there’s not a whole lot she can do? She can’t hold a gun to his head and force him to pay child support, can she? She’s the primary parent. They live with her, and not allowing them to cook cheap, hot food like pasta (it’s pasta—not caviar and steak) and food they buy with their own money, is unreasonable, mean and controlling. Especially since they’re paying for the electricity—the older one pays his share (so not really a problem as per OP; it’s the younger ones (who are only paying a portion of their allowance towards the electrical bill) that seem to be the issue.

Thechaseison71 · 20/02/2026 22:58

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 22:51

Well if he’s buggered off, and is no longer in the picture, there’s not a whole lot she can do? She can’t hold a gun to his head and force him to pay child support, can she? She’s the primary parent. They live with her, and not allowing them to cook cheap, hot food like pasta (it’s pasta—not caviar and steak) and food they buy with their own money, is unreasonable, mean and controlling. Especially since they’re paying for the electricity—the older one pays his share (so not really a problem as per OP; it’s the younger ones (who are only paying a portion of their allowance towards the electrical bill) that seem to be the issue.

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No there isn't and I've been in that position. But it's then not on for people to slag off the mother for having ," kids she can't afford" is it? I'm sure when they were born the situation was quite different

Oh and neither my DS nor my brothers are like that constantly

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 20/02/2026 23:08

Especially since they’re paying for the electricity

Are they though? We don't know how much they pay vs hoe much the electricity costs, unless I've missed it.
My young adult DC pay rent/keep. Doesn't mean I can afford unlimited oven usage. Because there are other bills to pay too.

Lunde · 20/02/2026 23:12

Stopsnowing · 20/02/2026 22:41

This. It is great that they cook but they need to do so in the context of a family home ie.
they should plan, shop and prepare a week’s worth of meals
between them - not keep topping up what you do.

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I'm still not sure what it is costing the OP as she says that they buy the additional food as she doesn't approve of the meat and pasta they buy - OP has stated that she won't eat sausages and only eats wholewheat pasta. It seems to be a (losing) battle over OP wanting to impose her own dietary preferences on the boys despite them buying their own preferred food.

Boysfood · 18/02/2026 10:20
They often do go and get the food to cook (mostly things like sausages bacon etc for cooked breakfast) because I don’t have processed meat products here. They cook huge amounts of pasta as well or they’ll make protein brownies and things like that .

She charges them for the extra electricity
Boysfood · 18/02/2026 10:07
I’ve reduced the pocket money for 15 and 17 year old already to make them realise but then they seem to think they are paying to cook as much as they want

Boysfood · 18/02/2026 10:03
Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share

OP complained about them using her cookware but then they were wrong to buy their own
Boysfood · 18/02/2026 10:37
They didn’t clean up and when I told them they had to my 19 year old just ordered a huge amount of foil roasting trays , takeaway type tubs and paper plates and bowls and said they’ll all use those so I can stop complaining

It doesn't really seem so much a cost issue as them wanting to choose what they eat given that they are buying the food and contributing to the electricity via increased rent/reduced pocket money . I'm not completely clear what OP's real complaint is

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 23:33

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 20/02/2026 23:08

Especially since they’re paying for the electricity

Are they though? We don't know how much they pay vs hoe much the electricity costs, unless I've missed it.
My young adult DC pay rent/keep. Doesn't mean I can afford unlimited oven usage. Because there are other bills to pay too.

The two younger ones pay out of their pocket money for the electricity. They’re 15 and 17. They’re presumably still in school, and don’t work. I’m not sure how much more you can squeeze out of an unemployed 15 and 17 year old; a portion of their pocket money seems sufficient. (Not something I would personally do, but the OP seems to be in dire straits financially).

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 20/02/2026 23:36

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 23:33

The two younger ones pay out of their pocket money for the electricity. They’re 15 and 17. They’re presumably still in school, and don’t work. I’m not sure how much more you can squeeze out of an unemployed 15 and 17 year old; a portion of their pocket money seems sufficient. (Not something I would personally do, but the OP seems to be in dire straits financially).

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You say they pay for the electricity, I see it as OP adjusting what they get to a level she can afford. FWIW my teens never got pocket money. I couldn't afford it.

OP could be paying £300 for electricity and reduced their PM by £10. We dont know unless she comes back and clarifies.

IDontSweatEver · 21/02/2026 00:45

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 20/02/2026 23:36

You say they pay for the electricity, I see it as OP adjusting what they get to a level she can afford. FWIW my teens never got pocket money. I couldn't afford it.

OP could be paying £300 for electricity and reduced their PM by £10. We dont know unless she comes back and clarifies.

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The OP has a legal obligation to provide the basic essentials for her minor children. This means food, shelter and clothing (and electricity to cook food comes under that). It’s called parental responsibility. She comes across as childish, petty and controlling. I can’t imagine arguing with my young children over electricity costs for cooking basic food THAT they are buying and paying for, and electrical costs that they are having to cover using their pocket money. If I ever behaved like that, I hope that the coppers would come and put me in jail. What a sad situation.

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 21/02/2026 00:55

IDontSweatEver · 21/02/2026 00:45

The OP has a legal obligation to provide the basic essentials for her minor children. This means food, shelter and clothing (and electricity to cook food comes under that). It’s called parental responsibility. She comes across as childish, petty and controlling. I can’t imagine arguing with my young children over electricity costs for cooking basic food THAT they are buying and paying for, and electrical costs that they are having to cover using their pocket money. If I ever behaved like that, I hope that the coppers would come and put me in jail. What a sad situation.

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Well if you cant imagine having to make a choice between paying for electricity or giving children pocket money, then you're in a better position than many.

Dad's also have a legal obligation to provide for their DC. Yet many don't.

katepilar · 21/02/2026 09:44

IDontSweatEver · 21/02/2026 00:45

The OP has a legal obligation to provide the basic essentials for her minor children. This means food, shelter and clothing (and electricity to cook food comes under that). It’s called parental responsibility. She comes across as childish, petty and controlling. I can’t imagine arguing with my young children over electricity costs for cooking basic food THAT they are buying and paying for, and electrical costs that they are having to cover using their pocket money. If I ever behaved like that, I hope that the coppers would come and put me in jail. What a sad situation.

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Essential food doesnt mean excessive cooking and baking for each individual. Cooking three times a night seems excessive. Multiplied that by three children.

Pherian · 21/02/2026 09:52

Thechaseison71 · 20/02/2026 22:31

Guess you have more than £ 1500 for example coming in then else you might feel differently

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I do, but I also have two teenage boys and a grown man in my house. I also happen to cook everyday myself so there are meals to reheat in the microwave if needed. It’s winter and people want warm food.

Thechaseison71 · 21/02/2026 10:01

Pherian · 21/02/2026 09:52

I do, but I also have two teenage boys and a grown man in my house. I also happen to cook everyday myself so there are meals to reheat in the microwave if needed. It’s winter and people want warm food.

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I understand that but if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. My 22 year old son and his WFH girlfriend pay less than £50 a month on electric. By that reasoning he should be eaten then out of house and home

EatYourDamnPie · 21/02/2026 10:15

Thechaseison71 · 21/02/2026 10:01

I understand that but if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. My 22 year old son and his WFH girlfriend pay less than £50 a month on electric. By that reasoning he should be eaten then out of house and home

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I doubt OP knows exactly how much their cooking costs. If she did, she would’ve mentioned it to garner extra support.

Frostinmyface · 21/02/2026 10:23

Boysfood · 18/02/2026 12:59

Never ever in the house but I have smelt it on the older two. Never my 15 year old though.

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And there lies your answer!

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 21/02/2026 10:24

IDontSweatEver · 20/02/2026 21:18

I’ll bet most people would have a real issue if this was a woman whose DP wouldn’t allow her to have more than one hot meal a day, or if he was complaining that the cost of electricity to cook food was too much. It’d be considered controlling/mean/abusive; but because these are children (who are being charged to cover the use of the electricity BTW), it’s okay.

I could not afford this. I'm on a key meter and I work part time and am on Universal Credit. Is it abusive not to be able to afford the cooker being on several times a day? Oh, and I'd love to work full time, but my employer just doesn't have the hours for me.