To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

My reaction wouldve been the same as those who said " be glad they can cook, do you WANT them just to eat junk?" But Ive lived this.
Only one of my many kids did this, its hard to describe the mess, expense and how disheartening it is to come into it or even downstairs to find it all happening again or to plan a meal and find your kitchen in use, filthy, or half your ingredients opened or gone. I tried everything and now, at 35, he still seems to revert back to doing it when he visits. Im happy to see him but boy am I glad when hes gone.
Ive no solution or help. He just couldn't see why it was a problem. But sending a lot of empathy your way.
Ps I blame Jamie Oliver

She’s also telling them to only eat avocado toast for lunch and they’re cooking themselves sausages and eggs and pasta. The cold food comment is about breakfast and lunch and how they shouldn’t use oats to make porridge as they need to have overnight oats.

I really think this all could be solved by giving them a budget and keeping her avocado and prawns and fancy oats for herself. They don’t want to eat how she does and are happy to fend for themselves so they should carry on. She just needs to have ground rules around how often to use the oven, cleaning up, times it’s unreasonable to start baking, being respectful etc. I can’t see how it’s a money issue if she’s providing prawns and avocado so it’s more about diet and what she likes to eat versus what they want.

WOW !!! You have three teenage sons who like to cook ?? Count your blessings. Encourage them, join in, ask them to cook for you, try new stuff … anything! Lucky you with three capable young men at your side.

@TheBestThingthatAlmostHappened

what if she was being greedy and just eating for the sake of it, would you still deprive yourself?

Because - as is standard on here - she’s been attacked.

They’re teenagers. They eat a lot. The weather is cold. They want hot food and not a sandwich.

Whatever it is that you’re feeding them as main meals isn’t filling them if they want cooked meals in between.

You have 3 kids and it’s your job to make sure they’re properly fed. It seems really mean to object to the amount of fuel they use to cook their food especially as they’re mostly providing it.

If you continue to be so controlling over what they can and can’t eat, they’ll leave as soon as they possibly can and then always refer to “remember when mum wouldn’t let us cook sausages because of the cost of the hob” 🥴

If someone told me not to cook, I’d ignore them too OP.

They are growing boys, they need to eat! And in this cold weather, cold food is not all that appetising.

Did she say they were healthy. Could be sausage and chips. We don’t know.

I would think the same about any kid/yp.

OP confirms it is unhealthy stuff - sausages and brownies.

so many mumsnetters are weird about food. Hot food is seen as better, more nutritious and healthier always. When that is just not accurate

Some people seem to be missing the point and suggesting batch cooking etc- which is perfectly reasonable however the point OP is making is that they wont do this. How i read it is there is food available within the house plus things to snack/ make sandwiches etc however as an example

ds1 - gets up at say 8am cooks a breakfast
ds2 gets up at 8:30 cooks a breakfast
ds3 gets up at 9:30 cooks a breakfast

lunch - 12 ds1 cooks
1- ds 2 cooks
1:30 ds3 cooks

evening meal - 5pm, 6pm, 7pm

9/10pm they start baking/ cooking again

plus any ‘hot snacks’ they might decide to make inbetween

i’ve had to have words with my own teen for exactly the same reasons as we have an evening meal, they come in cook their own meal and then after finishing that cook lunch for the following day- weve said yes you don’t have to eat with the rest of us but please can you cook everything in one go .. eg: evening meal + chicken (or whatever for lunch) at the same time.

it really adds up, we’re on a smart meter and the x3 cooking on the night puts about £1:50 extra onto our electric brill. As the ovens been on, airfryer etc say 5 nights a week thats £4:50 extra a week or £18 (4 week month) just for multiple times cooking.

Could you not sell your car OP to buy more food?

I can't believe some of these comments. If the OP is struggling to pay the electric bill because her children are cooking 4-5 times a day, between her cooking a large evening meal, then why are people trying to make her feel bad? Nowt wrong in having cereal or something quick in the morning, like toast or even a quick poached egg, etc., and having a sandwich most lunch times with a piece of fruit.

Can’t believe there are people out there who resent their children cooking food and eating it. Poor children.

And then the replies on the thread, looking to soften it for OP, at least they are not cooking a roast chicken, get them air fryer.

If you resent your children cooking and eating real food, and would rather they eat cereal, sorry but you are failing as a parent.

No, she needs to keep telling/ punishing them until it sinks in. We do not want to be releasing young men into the world thinking that they're entitled to more than their fair share and that they don't need to consider anyone else.

Make portions bigger.

The batch cooking and air fryer are great ideas. Good that they are eating healthy maybe encourage them to eat soup even making their own as in the batch cooking its hot and less mess and electric. Teenage lads aeem to eat so much, think they go through major growth spurts had 3 lads myself .

Firstly, you should be proud that they know how to cook and secondly that they prefer healthy food instead of junk snacks.
Going forward - what mother charges rent? I assume you're in the UK? I don't understand the mentality. I seriously don't.

OP has already explained they are buying the food themselves, so the cost of "protein" is not the problem here.

I don't blame you at all OP, this woild really piss me off if I was in your shoes, plus I bet they don't clean up properly afterwards. It's also the disrespect they are showing bu totally ignoring you. They shouldn't need 3 or 4 cooked meals a day either.

Where on earth are all the professional martyrs coming from today?

I'll tell you what kind of mother charges rent. A single mother who has sacrificed her career to bring up children on her own, ending up working a series of part time low waged jobs, who CANNOT 👏FUCKING👏AFFORD to house a working adult without some kind of contribution from him. Or similar.

Boys of that age are often very hungry OP and need something hot.

A bowl of pasta is cheap and filling and doesn’t use that much gas/electricity surely, especially if they eat together.

You have 3 boys, who are all growing and appear to be fairly health conscious if they are making protein bars etc. Unfortunately, if they are hungry then they need to ieat! Are you giving big enough portions at meal times? It also seems that teenagers no longer want to eat just a sandwich, mine (girls) are always cooking pasta/omlettes/pancakes. They enjoy cooking and do tidy up after themselves. I also echo others with getting an air fryer - they can cook sausages/bacon in that.

The problem is they cost her too much. She will raise a rent to the older one to cover her electricity bill. What a mother! Did she think they will always be little and not costing her so much? Why having 3 children if you then complain how much they cost you just because they're hungry?

She said she can't afford that much electricity. Nothing wrong with a healthy cold breakfast. There's plenty of choice about.