To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

Totally agree with everything here

Not a clue what that is lol

Ok, it sounds like you need to list out the issues and address them one by one with your children.

1. Batch cooking: they need to at least batch cook for themselves even if the can’t agree shared things, it will give the more time to go and work out or whatever they need lots of protein to do;
2. Clean up: wasteful single use products aren’t the answer, the need to learn to wash up and clean, and then do it. Again, batch cooking helps reduce the need for cleaning etc!
3. Energy costs: You've had good advice re getting an air fryer, could also look into the modern equivalent of hay box cooking for things like pasta, reduces the amount of energy needed, and again, batch cooking! Maybe cost it for them, using your energy monitor, eg, batch cooking the pasta and oats means a saving of nearly £5 a week between them, or £250 a year, which could go towards a holiday or loads of protein powder;
4. Cost of decent ingredients - supermarket bread is just not filling, they can use some of the time the save by batch cooking to learn to make decent sourdough bread, tastier, healthier, way more filling. Meat - cheap cuts, bulk buying from specialist delivery places, yellow sticker items etc. Eg for ham they can get a ham knuckle from the butchers and boil it for ham, then use the water as a base for a lovely soup, with some of the ham, loads of lentils and veg, and has it with the bread! Will mean lovely, good quality, not highly processed meat.
5. Not listening to you: family meeting where you show you have listened to them is the starting point, asking for their views, and making your points clear the addressing their issues. It sounds like they think you are being unreasonable and are therefore not going to listen. And to be fair, your arguments have been all over the place here, which adds to that feeling, maybe they see it that way too?
6. Them nicking things you get yourself as a treat, despite the fact that we owe our children the best we can, it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve treats too. Rather than ‘I get fancy oats and you get the cheap stuff’, tell them it’s your one treat, and if they don’t leave it alone then you’ll lock it away as they’ll have shown themselves to be too immature to be trusted with it. Then hide it in your room. You shouldn’t have to, but teenagers brains don’t always function very well..

If they’re constantly using it OP will have big bills!

Same. The whole tone of the OP's post and follow-ups is bizarre. I get being annoyed by 3 lummoxing great teens constantly in your kitchen, including while you are cooking their meals. I would find that very annoying. I'd have boundaries around 'wait for your fucking dinner no you are not making pasta now get out of the kitchen!'.

But that's it. Everything else - I'd be thinking of ways of meeting their hunger better, making sure they got good ingredients, and admiring the fact they can cook!

But not cleaning up properly!

I had this when a boyfriend stayed with me in my student accommodation as a nineteen-year-old. The shock!

Well they are now and OP still has an issue with it. She would probably begrudge them from using the dishwasher as it’s cheating compared to washing by hand.

I work in an office and either buy from my canteen or take leftovers to heat up.

They’re disrespecting her when they refuse to clean up after themselves and use food she has said is hers instead of the food she buys for them.

So you aren't cooking all these meals everyday

I am very uncomfortable with making a child feel like they are a financial burden for merely existing. 3 warm meals should not be seen as a luxury imo.

It reminds me of a friend whose mum made a massive deal about the central heating. Poor guy wasn’t allowed to put it on until his mum came home from work.

If you can’t afford to adequately care for kids, don’t have them!

Goodness, maybe the OP has less money than you do to spend on organic oats for boys who get through mountains of them? Why shouldn't she have a modest amount of organic oats for herself? And why is it OK for them to take them when they've been asked not to?

My comment was about three WARM meals. Nothing to do with cooking. The person I replied to said that they don’t know anyone who has three warm meals a day.

I think OP just wanted to be validated, not actually get opinions. Strange to post in AIBU.

So far we have:
OP complains the boys eat extra food on top of what OP gives them (they are hungry. This is how much boys eat!)
OP thinks they should eat sandwiches and instant porridge (they want more protein)
OP refuses to buy them what they want (so they buy their own)
OP objects to them using the electricity and has told them to stop (they have continued feeding themselves)
OP has cut their pocket money (boys have complained they are paying to cook 🤔)
OP is annoyed they are not obeying her (missing the point they are hungry and she will not buy the food they want to eat)
OP complains she doesn’t like their food choices eg. Bacon, sausages, white pasta as they are not “healthy” (but then OP again complains when they use her organic oats!!)
OP complains about the mess (boys buy their own disposable stuff)
OP complains that’s not environmentally friendly

Anyone else feeling really sorry for these boys?

Fair enough. Someone else said about the OP only cooking one hot meal a day and lost track

edit: duplicate post

Some on here don’t get the point OP is making!

How do you know what someone could've afforded 15 years ago when the youngest was born until now. Things change, men fuck off, people get ill , lose jobs etc etc etc

No one would ever have a child in that case

This

OP is annoyed they are not obeying her about cleaning up the kitchen after they've cooked and framing it as her 'complaining', which is gaslighting and is quite chilling when you think about how many men say similar things as a way of controlling and abusing their partners.

OP complains she doesn’t like their food choices eg. Bacon, sausages, white pasta as they are not “healthy” There is a lot of evidence that processed meats are problematic for health. OP again complains when they use her organic oats Non-organic oats are healthy too, and it makes sense for her to have them as an expensive treat ie she doesn't eat that much, and for them to have cheaper ones because they use large quantities.

OP complains about the mess (boys buy their own disposable stuff)
OP complains that’s not environmentally friendly Well, it isn't, and it's not necessary. Three healthy capable teenage boys could make short work of cleaning up a kitchen.

Anyone else feeling really sorry for these boys?
No. I think these boys are displaying toxic masculinity behaviours.

Well considering much of her issues were resolved by her own children, it seems OP is just annoyed at her children’s existence really.
expensive - children buy much of their own food including basics like pasta
not cleaning well enough - children use disposable trays and liners they bought themselves to ensure it’s mess free.
They’ve solved much of the problems so it’s a moot point really, there is no tangible point OP actually has, she’s just generally annoyed.

No - OP is not running a restaurant!

No one seems worried about their children smoking weed!

Asda has a large, flat air fryer which fits a whole pizza. It’s easily wiped out. Thoroughly recommend!