To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

I love that they are cooking, OP, and taking an active interest in the quality of the food that they are eating. Sausages and bacon aside, they seem really switched on. And I don't believe that the electricity costs can possibly be that bad.

You are clearly not feeding them enough if they are making hot food themselves so many times a day on top of the meals you provide them. I know you think you are - but you're not. Because as you say, they're a healthy weight and only one is sporty. So they're not burning off crazy amounts of calories, or taking on way more than they need.

The calories they are eating every day, are the calories they need to be healthy.

So you need to significantly up the nutritional profile or portion size or whatever of the food you are giving them, if you want them to reduce their snacking.

You sound controlling and mean to be honest. It IS annoying when teens eat you out of house and home, but it's also part of the job description of being a teenager. They eat and eat and eat - because they're growing.

Me too. I usually have porridge for breakfast, then some sort of soup or pasta for lunch and a more substantial hot meal for dinner.

I can't believe there are people out there who think 3 hot meals a day is frivolous in 2026 😅. Maybe we should go the whole hog and bring back rationing.

If these boys were eating too much, they'd be overweight. They're not. If they are cooking huge amounts of food on top of what OP thinks appropriate, what she thinks is appropriate isn't enough to feed them.

The thing is that we don't yet know whether eating these huge amounts of protein and refined carbs is good for the teenagers. A recent report has found that bowel cancer in young people has risen hugely and we do know that excessive amounts of processed meat increases the risk of cancer.

Why are more young people getting bowel cancer? | Bowel Cancer UK

They’re not disrespecting her. They’re disagreeing with her. It’s not reasonable for her to dictate that they cannot cook in their own home. I’d disagree with her and continue to cook hot meals in the middle of winter too. It would be much better for them all to discuss and come to some agreements around timings, batch cooking etc.

We don't know enough about how much OP is cooking to have much of a discussion about this. No doubt there were men and boys who went to bed hungry after a hard day's work. Equally, cooking for families was focused on filling ingredients like suets, yorkshire puddings etc., and bread was made more filling with cheap jams, lard, dripping etc. It's entirely possible that if she fed them a meal like this they wouldn't be snacking so much. But it's not a great diet in many ways and not really a solution to OP's problems in the 21st century.

Have you considered the fact that you’ve raised 3 teenage boys that are independent and capable of cooking for themselves? I’d be pretty pleased with myself tbh 😂 Also, get an air fryer.

OP, you say that you know the oldest two smoke weed. It may be that no 3 does too. DS1 did at their age, and it did him no good and one side effect was a ravenous appetite. There's lots online if you look it up. eg. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/scientific-explanation-how-marijuana-causes-munchies-180949660/

Teenage boys are always hungry. They want hot food in the middle of winter.
Mother begrudges the cost of electricity and starts charging them for eating.
What a strange thread.

Now imagining OP like Maureen O'Hara in How Green was my Valley, lining her big sons up at the end of the week to hand her their pay packets ...

I gave 2 teens, neither have ever liked sandwiches for lunch if there's a choice. Ever since they've been about 11 or 12 they've cooked eg pizza, jacket potatoes, omelette, chicken nuggets for lunch if thry are at home.
Now DS is 16, he heats up leftovers for breakfast every day. He barely eats at lunch time but is non stop eating in the eve. He does a fair bit of sport and is skinny, but doesnt cook a lot of his own food.
I dont think its unreasonable for them to want hot food, and cook it themselves. It is unreasonable if they leave a mess or use food they know you want to use for something specific.
I would be more bothered about them potentially smoking weed than cooking their own food though.

I think I'm on OPs side !
It's the lack of respect !!!
She is saying not to do something and their blatantly ignoring her !
Foods costs are unbelievable ATM ! So it must be costing u a fortune !
Maybe stop cooking for them in the evening and let them do the main meals and insist no more cooking breakfasts or lunches unless they can contribute to the cost of electricity because that's crazy expensive as well !
I know how u feel for me it's not the electricity or food because my DS nearly 26 buys his own groceries but constant cooking and not cleaning to my standards really pisses me off and I am now having to bite my tongue because I know he will be in his own place soon ! But the constant food smells and again it's protein obsessed so loads stinky fish as well lol 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 THe joys of being a mum to lads !!

I have an airfryer and my boys had it going morning, noon and night last summer.
It added £150 to my electricity bill.
They are great if used wisely.

OP, I completely sympathise with you.
I had the same thing and had to firmly say no cooking past 11 pm.
They were cooking full meals at 2-3am.
Driving me totally mad.

Couldn't have toast or a cereal at that hour, oh no, full fry, goujons, chips pizza or pasta.

Between that and the multiple long showers every day my electricity is just huge.

I leave a spotless kitchen and somehow coming down to a draining board, sink splattered with grease after their half arsed clean up was enough to totally throw me over the edge.

Goodness. I reserve the good stuff for my offspring and the cheap rubbish for myself when money is tight, because they are growing and need good food more than I do!

They’re not disrespecting her

Of course they are. They're ignoring her, not paying the extra costs or cleaning up after themselves. 'Their own home' is also tenuous - they're children living in their parent's home, pretending they shouldn't abide by any rules and can do what they like is idiotic.

Just kindly ask them to batch cook a bit on a weekend/a couple of weeks nights, then warm it up through the week? Cook and freeze some chicken thighs, big pots of pesto pasta, lentil/chicken based soups.

There are some crazy takes on this thread though. You don't need hot food for every meal, winter or not. Sandwiches and some sides are a perfectly normal lunch and it's what literally everyone ate when I was at school, unless you had school dinners. Funnily enough, none of us starved to death or felt famished. I truly don't think you need sausages and bacon at breakfast either, but it's their money and you can't control what they spend it on. They're clearly hungry, just sit down and agree something that works for everyone in terms of cooking times.

And also most people would be annoyed if someone the lived with spend hours everyday cooking, left a mess, and increased the household bills.

Pick your battles- this ain’t one of them.

They could do porridge in slow cooker if wanting a hot breakfast.
I’d hand over evening meal to them one night each so you do 4/7 and they do other 3. Explain budget they have and let them cook. For example they might prefer chicken thigh to breast to have a bigger portion.
Your meals sound similar to what I’m eating as a menopausal woman on a diet so fruit & yoghurt, avocado toast, chicken breast stir fry.
It’s winter and their calorie intake is probably double yours. They are obviously wanting more carbs and protein. I don’t think that makes them disrespectful.

OP, according to this thread, you should let your teenage DC do whatever they want, cook whatever, whenever and be happy about it. This is 3 boys/men ignoring you in a house where you pay the bills. This is not OK. You are the parent.

Have a house meeting and lay down some specific ground rules, but work with them as well.

Buy them white pasta, bacon and sausages if that is what they want. Buy them oats and tell them to lay off yours. You are allowed to treat yourself to something if you want organic for yourself. You are the one earning the money.

Nobody should be cooking a meal an hour after they have eaten, so are your meals big enough? It is great that they want to cook, so get them involved in cooking family meals, roast chicken with plenty of veg, or whatever but they should be able to eat enough in a meal that they aren't instantly hungry again.

You need to have a decent discussion with all them, but they need to respect the fact that this is your house and what you say goes. At the moment they are being hugely entitled.

So you want the high quality ingredients but not them. Sorry, but no. They are you children. Absolutely shocking that you differentiate like this. Either you all eat organic, or you all eat budget, or all eat midrange. In a household, unless something has been a specific gift to an individual, there is no 'my' or 'their' food. It is food.

Why would you ban teenagers from cooking? It's an essential and very useful life skill.

If you can afford the increase in the gas and electric bill for a while, it's worth it. Their culinary skills will benefit them and others in the future.

I have sons and they cook and I have never considered 'banning' it for the reasons above.

OP I understand! House of teens here and one week it’s ’we can’t get enough of yogurts’ then it’s eating chicken nuggets like they are going out of stock.

I would recommend batch cooking things like pasta and jacket potatoes - things that are relatively cheap, keep well for a few days in the fridge - then they can microwave them to heat up and add cheese etc to.

In terms of where they have said there isn’t enough protein in recipes - could you add some tinned beans? We often add tins of butter beans and chickpeas to pasta, chilli and curry dishes. It bulks the dishes out to reduce down the meat cost and is a decent mix of protein and carbs

Welcome to teenage boys!

I remember my nephews visiting from Australia (before I had my own boys), thought there was something wrong with them the amount they ate!

Then I had my own boys……… realised that was normal!

My 18 year old cooks a lot, the only thing that annoys me is that he loves just leaving everything to “soak” rather than washing the pots up or loading the dishwasher - so we frequently argue about it. I do understand about the cost too, but that can’t be a factor for me to stop him cooking - he walks a lot, commutes to uni and work so he needs the fuel.

We’ve also swapped some ingredients for cheaper ones - chicken thighs instead of breast, also finding a whole extra large chicken is cheaper and stretches further than say 4 breasts. And you can make a bone broth with the bones afterwards for soup

We also regularly stick a pack of chicken drumsticks in the oven and boil eggs to keep in as snacks.

That doesn't sound like a lot of food for 4 people. My 9 yr old will quite happily eat 2 chicken breasts with rice or noodles and will want more food later that evening.