To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

How much is the cooking really costing you on electricity? Showers can burn much more so that’s what I would look at first

pocket money can be deducted for using oven

Do you buy them at work or cook at home all day. Most people who actually go out to work don't pop home and cook a lunchtime meal

They all go to school or work which is why it’s nonsense that they’re cooking 4-5 meals a day.

The point is OP’s labour in terms of feeding them minimal, basic parenting. They aren’t creating work for her, she’s cooking them dinner and they are sorting out their other meals including paying for most of the food.

Only on mumsnet will you see teenage boys cooking being a problem.

Tbh there are lots of things that can and should be done to save money.. stopping teenage boys from cooking, when they're happy to cook (!), should not be one of them.

Do you realise what rare beasts you have on your hands there?

The excessive frying and cooking hot food would also drive me bonkers, Op.

Stay stern and firm on your boundaries.
The issues are ..
Too many large cooked snacks between meals.
Not eating any cold or uncooked foods.
Eating lots of processed meats.
Not listening to their mother's reasonable requests in her own home.

Try buying a sandwich maker and an airfryer.

Limit of only one snack between meals.
No one allowed in your kitchen who doesn't clean up meticulously.
Fried breakfast with bacon and beans etc.only on the weekends though a poached or scrambled egg is fine after cereal etc. during the week if the pots are cleaned.

Sit the boys down and explain in detail what you are asking.
Show them a clean bench top.
Show them examples of cold snacks.
Show them the power bills.

This is three teenage boys taking over, being greedy having huge amounts of food, refusing to clean up after themselves, then greedily consuming the earth's resources by using disposable stuff.

Basically taking more than their fair share across the board, not considering others, generally taking up big space in the world.

It's quite difficult to put into words, but it's the whole attitude that is wrong. Not specifics about cooking. OP is understandably upset at having three males metaphorically trampling over everything.

How much extra is it really costing on your electricity bill honestly? Can't believe you're actually punishing your kids for doing something useful and cooking for themselves

Well. I started off thinking you were unreasonable but now I don’t think that. They sound really inconsiderate, and don’t think about the family/ household resources. And their attitudes to food are clearly driven by fashion or what they happen to fancy eating

Sounds like the main problems are that they’re not thinking the main family meal is enough for them, and that they’re cooking everything when they want it.

Why not get them to cook dinner for everyone? I started cooking a lot of family meals at about 17 because it meant we could have things I like. Then teach them about cooking in bulk, so if they want some quick bolognese or whatever they can get it out of the freezer. They can make and freeze curry, stew, all sorts of hearty protein filled things. Defrosting or cooking in the microwave is going to be a lot more efficient than constantly cooking from scratch.

As long as they are also cleaning up as well. Leaving mess is a no no.

Actually thinking when my DS was 15/16 he used to cook most of his dinners ( not that sort of amount of food though) as I worked 5 evenings a week

So I wasn't even cooking for him once a day.

There was rice pasta and basics like that to use. Helping himself to prawns chicken breasts etc had to be checked first as they may be allocated for another meal. ( Which he would also get to eat). However if he wanted to eat crisps , choc and snack packs hed have to buy his own.

Well I'm going to go against the grain. If you're providing 3 healthy, good helpings of food a day they don't need to pig out on extra cooked meals. Some posters are extrapolating that you're practically starving them with inadequate meals... really??

There's nothing unreasonable about pointing out that you've got a good stock of food around - fruit, bread etc if they really need to stuff themselves more between meals. It's also not unreasonable to point out that constantly using the cooker for individuals to cook themselves individual meals - between main meals - is an expensive waste of fuel. I can't see - are they leaving you to clear up after this?
You've asked them nicely not to do this, but to eat from the supply of food you've provided that doesn't need cooking. You've explained that you can't afford to carry on like this. The disrespectful little shits couldn't give a toss and have carried on.
What is wrong with people? Maybe I'm old, but I come from a generation that lived pretty well on 3 meals a day and the occasional treat in between. Certainly my parents weren't well off enough for us to also help ourselves to whatever we fancied from cupboards, or to be using the cooker any time of the day or night we wanted. We don't need to give children free access to food and snacks every hour of the day. No wonder obesity is on the rise.
(Waits for the outrage) 😂

They didn’t clean up and when I told them they had to my 19 year old just ordered a huge amount of foil roasting trays , takeaway type tubs and paper plates and bowls and said they’ll all use those so I can stop complaining

I would be raging about this. They sound thoughtless and lazy as hell.

OP I think you're getting a hard time here, WTF would be fine with their kids cooking at midnight?

And I've never understood why modern teenage boys seem to have to eat shedloads of protein or they'll faint away, what did previous generations have to do, I'm damn sure their parents weren't devoting half their weekly budget to fill those bottomless stomachs.

Honestly, buy your organic oats and keep them in your knicker drawer if necessary.

If they’re not overweight and not excessively exercising, then they need the calories one way or another. Your cold food suggestions are not going to be as filling. With their ages, you need to drop this whole ‘they’re ignoring me and it’s disrespectful’ nonsense. They disagree with you and are trying to find reasonable work arounds (buying their own meat, using disposable stuff).
I would sit down with them to draw up a plan. You can still have your boundaries - no midnight cooking if it’s noisy, causing a mess late at night eg. Discuss with them about batch cooking and sharing dishes do the oven/hob sit on and off all night. Get them involved in meal planning dinner so they can sign off on it and be less tempted to cook a whole second meal later. Ask them to trial meal planning for the week so you can work out a schedule for the appliances and maximise the bill (eg. Full the oven with brownies and other things, bigger quantity of pasta for other meals).

My DS (19) is very similar to this although he trains a lot at the gym so there’s probably more of a reason. He will always want/need two chicken breasts or two salmon fillets etc -
it does cost a fortune! But he’s making his own proper food and doesn’t really buy snack stuff etc

He only tends to like hot food as well. So at uni he’s settled in to a routine using his airfyer that we replicate at home. Food is done quicker and less mess and energy. If it’s an ‘on the hob’ meal, it would drive me crazy that he’d cook the same thing day after day and use all the pots etc. I’ve now convinced him to make enough to meal prep for three or four portions and put in the fridge or freezer to quickly reheat as and when he wants it (which is often silly times! 4.30 for lunch or as a second dinner at 9.30-10pm). He will cook sausages, chicken, salmon etc in the airfryer. Really simple if they then use disposable liners in there as well.

It is annoying and expensive but very much a normal teen thing and they do eat a lot!

Does seem strange actually as thinking about it a couple of generations ago teenage boys were out doing hard physical work. Can't imagine parents being impressed if they scoffed the whole families worth of food

Growing up

Growing up involves taking up space in the world. Sure, you can be more or less considerate about it and that's something OP can work on. There is simply nothing here to suggest that anyone has analysed whether her suggested diet or theirs uses up more of the earth's resources.

If these boys were eating too much, they'd be overweight. They're not. If they are cooking huge amounts of food on top of what OP thinks appropriate, what she thinks is appropriate isn't enough to feed them.

As someone said upthread, either she can insist on controlling everything but take this as her cue that they need much more food so she needs to provide and cook that (if they're not allowed to), or she can work with them to get things more efficient in terms of batch cooking, timings etc. A long long thread and I've yet to see a single argument as to why batch cooking, freezing and microwaving wouldn't solve most of these problems.

It is miserable having people trying to control what you eat and constantly coming up with different reasons for it.

With their ages, you need to drop this whole ‘they’re ignoring me and it’s disrespectful’ nonsense

Why is that, exactly? At what age should the disrespect start?

I think it's fantastic that they're cooking for themselves.

Feeding men and boys who did hard manual labour well was a struggle but also a recognised necessity. Women were working hard too at that.

Mine are the same and usually follow it up with a 15 minute shower to totally bankrupt me.

But they weren't being cooked extra meals an hour after dinner and baking at midnight. Expected to fill up on bread 🍞

How much extra are they costing you monthly (weekly/daily) for all this cooking ? Do you actually know!? Or did you just assume?

I'd agree with this tbf. It's not healthy and cloggs up the arteries. I've done the same and not allowed DS to have red meats at home.

That does sound like an excessive amount of cooking/baking. It’s hardly healthy having white pasta, sausages and bacon every day along with a cooked dinner!

I think the worst part is the disrespect of just ignoring you when you ask them not to do something. Could you stop the pocket money all together? Then they can’t go out and buy the sausages and bacon etc.