Background: we have lived here 16 years - we being me & DD. DD is 23
Neighbour , single middle-aged gay man with his cute dog, bought house next door a year ago, previously to this the house was rented out to various different tenants.
I work away and live with my DH most of the time in another city but we will come back to the house every other weekend, the rest of the time it's my DD who lives here alone with occasional sleep overs from her BF.
I was glad when neighbour moved in and glad he was gay and seemed nice as ultimately he was a single man moving in next to my young daughter and rightly or wrongly I felt safer that he was gay.
Anyway, about 4 months ago I had 3 friends over on a Friday night, we had food and drinks etc and they left around 11.30pm.
The next night at around 11.20pm the neighbour started thumping on our adjoining wall (houses adjoin with hallways so our stairs are next to each other) , he also started screaming and shouting and this went on for around 10 minutes then stopped dead. DD were already well in bed by this time. I was a little concerned he was having some kind of medical episode at the time.
A couple of days later we spoke in the garden completely normally and he asked me if I could do him a "life-changing favour". Apparently our front door closes too loudly and we had disturbed him when my friends had left at 11.30pm. So it became clear then that the next night was a punishment. He stated that he had moved 3 times in 5 years because of "noisy neighbours" and thought this house was ok because they joined at the hallway but he'd "probably have to move again".
I said I was happy to hear any solutions he might have but unfortunately our front door closes how it closes and there was not much I could do. He asked if I ever heard noise from his house and I said yes as the dog barks continuously when he leaves the house every Saturday night from 7pm until around 2am usually but he said he wasn't worried about that as that's just the dog. which is fair enough.
Anyway always cordial inbetween in the garden we'll say hello etc. Last Friday I went out with my friends and came home alone at around 12am.
The next night once again he started pounding on the stairs wall and screeching at around 11.30 til 12.15am. This time my husband was at the house and was raging and wanted to go round but I told him not to react as DD is here most of the time on her own and we don't know this man, he might be unstable. We had again been in bed since around 10.30.
Anyway, AIBU to NEVER let this man get a reaction out of me? I have lived here peacably for 16 years and don't intend to rise to his retribution for when he thinks I've opened my own front door too loudly or at the wrong time.
What would you do?? We both own our home, me outright, him mortgage so nobody is going anywhere.