How are Grammar schools so much better than comprehensives if they get the same funding?

[Karma1387]

Me and my partner are in a situation where we are looking to relocate in order to move to a Grammar school area. This is going to involve us both having to find new jobs and coordinate a house move at the same time.

Some of my family disagree with our decision to move for the sake of grammar school and don't see how they can be better than a normal comprehensive school.

I am hoping some people on here will have some knowledge on how grammar schools achieve so much better than comprehensives?

Also anyone with experience with grammar schools they could share? From what I have read the class sizes aren't much different to comprehensives and they get the same funding. Is it literally just a case of because they do the 11+ they tend to only take on the more academically inclined kids. Does this translate to less bad behaviour etc compared to comprehensive schools?

The move is going to be stressful with us both trying to find new jobs plus moving further away from both our families I want it to be worth it! Our local comprehensive is awful for results and we want to give the kids the best opportunities.

Personally I would rather homeschool and fully keep them out of the school system but my partner is very against this and is determined we need to move to a grammar school area so any advise to aid our discussion would be amazing!

Are we being unreasonable to relocate for the possibility of grammar school?

Jesus, this has already been discussed.

You’re missing the vital bit of information, the bit where you talk to your child and say ‘don’t forget grandma is picking you up tonight’.

If you’ve not had that conversation then your child is likely to point out to a teacher that their parent isn’t there as expected and then the school would phone you.

If you specifically don’t want someone collecting your child and you’re worried they might just turn up then you flag this with the school. They will treat this request seriously.

My daughter is head of English at the grammar school she went to. It is a fabulous school and you see the secondary school pupils in town that clearly are not being told to wear the correct uniform. As well as the great education, the grammar school instills good behaviour too.

But if there aren't passwords or ID checks how do schools know the person picking then up should be? A family member the child likes could be coming to pick them up but not necessarily approved by the parent?

Can you state to a school only 1 certain person is allowed to pick up a child and if that needed to change you could call the school to let them know and then school could check their ID or will they just let a child go based on if they are happy to go with said person at the gate?

I have some experience of this. My DDs went to an (excellent) comp for years 7-10. Then to Grammar Schools for A levels.

I will tell you what the difference is. Expectation.

I am surprised of the opinion that at a local or village primary school 'everyone knows everyone' how would you know someone if they aren't a friend?

Our primary had a contact book so you could write a message to the teacher, be that about reading books or stating that your child was going home with xxx and parent that day, or if grandparents were picking up. You are overthinking primary pick up, meant v kindly.

Thank you. So basically if school are informed that I am the only person authorised to collect DS they wont release him to anyone else even if its grandma and he wants to go with her?

That makes me feel a little better but something I will 100% check with any schools we view.

Have you never been to a cafe with your children? People were always chatting to my children when they were younger. I'm an introvert so it's not like I was going out of my way to chat to others, it just seemed to happen.

You know them through gossip. You know how their house looks. You know them from seeing them or hearing them around the village - shrieking at their children, rolling home footless, attending church, organizing a village cleanup or leading the scouts or guides, etc

Honestly @Karma1387 you are coming across as extremely highly strung.

Yes there are safe guarding procedures in every primary school my DC have attended (4 of them).
The school is aware of any 'blacklisted' people

Yes that is how it works.

Schools will only release a child to the person or people named on the list of people authorized to pick up the child. They will fold their arms and say 'list says no' to anyone else.

If someone arrives and starts insisting you gave them verbal permission, or whatever, they will check with you.

It doesn't matter what the child says.

You just do.
I live in a village with a small village primary school and I know a lots of the kids even the ones where I’m not friends with the parents. It’s just how it is if you live in a village and attend the village school.

Genuinely, at primary there are precautions in the school about child collection - formal on the part of the school, as in names permitted people for pick up in infants. As they get older my experience was the pack looks after the cubs ( some may view as busybodies but as a working parent I really appreciated it) so if an unfamiliar face was there for pick up at least one of the regulars would chat and ask if that person was an aunt or whatever. And they would have been named in the school contact book. This was a two form entry primary though.

Schools in the UK don’t tend to have an authorised pick up list once the kids get into KS2.

I made the decision to quite my career after my son was born. My partner was okay with this as the childcare costs are insane. I do work 2 nights a week but of course the pay is very small compared to if I went back to my career (although I would have to go to a different career anyway due to the hours of previous one)

We hadn't fully decided on me not returning to a career at all which is why we were trying to keep to living somewhere affordable! There is no point in me going back to work whilst we have kids at nursery and I don't agree on giving up time with my young kids to facilitate moving somewhere more expensive.

My partner gets a say in everything and to a degree more so as he is the one out at work full time so I can be with my son. So i respect his views otherwise it wouldn't even be a discussion of school and I would keep them at home.

I do work part time just not in a career. So my desire to homeschool has nothing to do with not wanting to work. Of course finacially it would be lovely if I could go back to earning 40-50k but the money isn't worth the lost time with my kids.

When DS was age 5, I'd arranged with his friend's mum that I would pick the friend up from school and take him home with us.
Friend's mum forgot to tell the school. When I turned up and told them of the arrangement, the school secretary rang her up to double check before they would release him to me. And that was with me being a known parent, and also known that our sons were close friends.

(Although I probably shouldn't tell you that my DC's junior school had no adult handover at all and just released children to the playground, where many of them walked out to meet adults some distance from school).

OP - since this is a MN thread and we have seemingly got to nearly 800 posts with no one saying it - you mention a "partner". If you are not married and you have reduced your hours to very part time, please make sure you protect yourself financially - particularly if you are planning to move to a new area with no family support or friends.

Yep I went out to a farm, playground and cafe today with lots of children as half term. Some parents spoke directly to me about DS but none spoke to him and I wouldn't expect them to just as I wouldn't speak to their children.

No we are not married yet. Considering this year or next most likely. Focusing on getting through having baby number 2 at the moment.

You will be asked to fill.out an information sheet when you register your child.

There will be a section on the sheet where you enter the names of people authorized to pick up your child. These people will be the only ones permitted to leave with your child. You can supply photos of these people to the school.if you wish.

Any other people who show up will be turned away unless you have called the school.in advance to say your neighbour (for instance) will be picking up your child on that day. You can give a general description, age, etc of this person if you wish.

Thank you this is helpful. We will double check with any schools we look at that this is the case.

People are going to say hello to your child at some point. You can also say hello to other people's children. As long as you are with your child and an adult is with the other child, that is perfectly ok.

Are you usually so anxious and suspicious of others?

This just gets weirder. Mine are 5 and 7 and they've engaged with people for as long as I can remember. Why on earth wouldn't they?

I wouldn't ever talk to another persons child unless they were perhaps on their own and distressed in which case I would try to find a official person like a police officer to help them. But I wouldn't just talk to a random person in general.

What an absolutely bizarre way to live!