Pros and cons of living in the countryside

[sharkstale]

We've made the decision to move to the countryside next year.
My daughter will stay in the same school (will be in yr6 then) and move up to the same secondary school as planned, so she doesn't have to leave her friends. It just means more of a drive (roughly 15 mins, so not too bad).
My son will be 2.

To anyone who lives in the countryside, what are the pros and cons of living in the countryside?

I'm looking forward to more nature, open spaces, quiet surroundings, and good views.
Not so much looking forward to more spiders in the house as we don't tend to get spiders where we are now and I absolutely hate them!

Currently in a new build, so wary of things like damp problems and higher heating costs in an older house.

But I'm sure there will be more pros and cons than just these, so would like to explore them more before committing to moving.

@sharkstaleyeah I think it’s just being really selective about where you go, my experience was not positive growing up, that said I know there are beautiful villages with countryside walks and not far from towns and with bus links etc, it’s just being careful where you go.

Country outweighs city for me every time - no contest.

• big skies and beautiful views that feed the soul. I have some mobility problems so these are precious assets.
• Quiet - the loudest sounds are the cows farting in the field behind my house. You can go for a walk with a friend and hear each other speak.
• The birdsong - a total joy
• The sense of community - people know each other and get together to create social activities in the village hall: films, coffee mornings, fund-raising activities, choirs, musical performances, heritage group, yoga, exercise etc. etc. You could be out at something every day of the week ...
• The small local primary school is part of the community and members of the community are all invited to share in their activities and performances, so the children feel the support of everyone around them. Forest school for them takes in a literal meaning as they learn in the woods around the school. Much of their learning takes place outside.
• And, following on from that, the support of others - for instance I needed to get to the surgery the other day while feeling unwell. a quick post on the village whatsapp and there were 3 offers of a lift.
• the absence of pollution - the air is clear and smells fresh and clean.

There are of course what some might see as disadvantages:

• no public transport - you will need a car!
• surgery a long distance away
• no shops

You do get used to these things - I can get to a small shop/PO 3 miles away and have all my groceries delivered. The nearest city - 16 miles - has theatre, shopping centre etc. and train station for trips further afield. I do not think I miss out in any way. And I arrange coach trips to concerts for local people.

Just for your interest OP, I brought up 3 now adult DDs in the country. They have all chosen to stay in villages now they have their own families because they could see what it gave them. One had to travel a very long way to secondary school - up at 7am to get the school bus to the city, walk across town to get another bus - and all repeated on the way back. The first time she did it I was concerned as to how she might cope at age 11 - this is what she said ... "Oh Mum, it is beautiful! We went over the hill as the sun was coming up and watched the sun starting to go down on the way back." She continued to love it throughout her school days and is now a keen hill walker.
The Young Farmers' Club is interesting - two of my DDs met their future husbands there!
The view from my window every morning is the joy that keeps me going!

It doesn't sound like you are going to be that rural/isolated if it's only 15mins from your current house. Sounds like the perfect compromise!

Having done city living and now been in the countryside for around 10 years, I would never go back to urban life. I didn't realise how much the low level constant background noise of a twin was affecting me until we moved here. The difference that the gentle country sounds, open views, fresh air and spending so much more time outside with the children has made to mental health is enormous.

We have found people to very welcoming and friendly, we do more dinner parties at friend's houses and pub drinks/lunches, no need to go into town at all really now. Yes there's a bit of ferrying around but I find driving on country rounds so much more enjoyable than stuck in gridlock, fumes and traffic lights.

The main difference that I live is being completely in tune with and aware of the seasons. In the city, they all blended into one sort of...in the country you notice the first leaves and snowdrops in spring, yes there's relentless mud in winter (if you can have a boot room in your house to put muddy shoes/wash the dog!) it is worth it's weight in gold in winter!

My children have honestly had an idyllic childhood living here. Sooo much more freedom and independence than they could ever have had in the city. They open the door and go and roam the fields with their friends from neighbouring farms and villages with the dogs, building dens, climbing trees, getting lost(!), having adventures, helping out on farms with lambing with no parental supervision. It's an Enid Blyton childhood as a PP said, that is either up your street or not!

Just keep your freezer well stocked as there's definitely no takeaways round here! Although most village pubs you can ring up and order some food to collect so kinda the same, and probably healthier?!

Make friends with the farmers/landowners around your house, a lot of them won't mind you walking across their land, or the children playing in the fields as long as you are respectful and ask permission!

Flies in summer, smell of manure, mud and more mud, Dcat bringing home many kills, poor public transport
Pros quiet, beautiful, sense of community, not over looked, watching the wildlife, low crime rate

I have just looked up the population of my village and it is 450!

On the subject of transporting teenagers, we just bit the bullet on that and felt it was a small price to pay for all the advantages of country living. The children knew that we (or another parent) would make sure they were not disadvantaged in getting to (and more importantly back from) the things they wanted to do. Or we would deliver them the couple of miles to a bus stop.

All my now adult DDs went to university in cities and could not wait to get back to the country.

LOL, country kids do way more 'hanging on out street corners' (or down the back field, or in the graveyard, or at the one village bus shelter) than urban ones as there isn't anything else to do!

In a city your teen can join a wide range of interesting clubs on any day after school or choose from a big selection of leisure activities - in the countryside they can be nagged to walk the dog in the rain and then it is back indoors asap to screens (by which we mean swearing at the crappy broadband overloading again because more than one person is using it at once), or mooching around getting into trouble with friends outside to try to get some kind of excitement into life.

Also check how far you are from the local fire brigade and A&E.

Time wise, I was closer to a hospital with an A&E when i lived in a village than where I am now in a town. There are lots of towns and city suburbs that are going to be much further than 10 minutes from a hospital with an A&E department.

I do love big skies - mentioned by a PP - very soothing and lifting at the same time. Also, apparently, we are calmed by looking at a far horizon - which I can understand too - though with a higher than a house flat view I’m not crammed in over much that way. My last house French windows looked onto a fence then fully rendered wall - I found it depressing in Covid and had a hedge out in instead - there’s definitely a lot of good in having space, nature, skies all around.

Be great to have 2 places (without the work of it!) but I think it’s just what works best for you and some of it is a compromise.
I need the energy of a city, though live on a canal so am fortunate there. But I love holidays in small green villages with water - I love the skies up near the lakes - but they’re for holidays or days out. Equally, some in villages may do city breaks and visits.

I hope you find the best fit for you OP.

Yes we can’t be blanket about all teens. The ones that appreciate nature and throw themselves into the Young Farmers etc may love country living. Sadly neither of my teens are like that and they are definitely town not country mice!

I used to live in a very rural area , once the beautiful summer days arrive and you decide to have a barbecue these are always the days when the local farmers spread slurry !!

Married to a farmer, so live in countryside. DD13 will cycle to her best friends house, and I'll often drive her to the village to hang around with her mates, unless you are properly in the middle of nowhere it's fine.

I don't know why people are banging on about the teen independence thing.

A) It's only for a few years not a lifetime.
B) Teens can easily talk to their friends online. They're not completely isolated.
C) if there's two of you, then you just take it in turns driving them around.

When I was a kid I lived next door to a local train and bus station yet it was still often quicker and more convenient for my dad to take me places. Yes living rurally you have no other choice, but don't think just because you live next to a bus stop, you won't be a taxi anyway. My workplace as a teen was a 20 minute drive away yet by public transport I had to get two or three different buses to get there.

@ChocolateHobbita pretty significant “few” years….a a bit ironic the pros of the countryside include the ability to have nice space to be outside, but teens are more reliant to speak online to talk with their friends.

I grew up rurally, I am jealous of the teenage years my children are experiencing!

The pros are easy, I’ll just do cons - I’m five years into living in a beautiful part of the world and I want to go back to town life - not just for these reasons mind!

Cons
The mud is next level
I drive my now teens around for HOURS! (they use the infrequent bus too)
No food deliveries or taxis come to our house - which I actually don’t mind but it’s annoying for some visitors
Regular power cuts are annoying for working from home
The road gets blocked with escaped cattle/trees frequently fall and block the road and the potholes are Olympic sized
The council tax cost is unbelievable
No gas connection
We have a stream which is so pretty but attracts so many mosquitos I’m put off sitting by it
People speed down our country lane and crash
The sound of all the beautiful wildlife being shot most weekends makes me really sad and I had not considered this. I live literally in a woodland and rarely see British wildlife even at night or early mornings, except some really amazing birds. Everything you’d expect to see frequently is killed and so becomes a rare lovely sighting.

Yes but the pros aren't just for your child are they? They're not the only person in the family.
Maybe the parents want nice space to be outside?

They can speak to their friends online. We can drive them to the nearest bus stop or to their friends. It's really not a big deal.

This
Im a bit 🤔 at people who call 15 minutes into town rural.

My DP lived truly rurally and its fine if you hate people and never want to go anywhere.

Country roads are horribly dangerous and like the whacky races with everyone barrelling along.
They had to drive everywhere, even to get a pint of milk as no pavements, cycling or walking,ok if you have a death wish.
As they got older it became a performance of " getting the car out" and they just sat in the house.
Absolutely everything is twice the effort and services are very poor
Fuel costs and availability
Shopping
GP
Dentist
Hairdresser
Getting to school
Work
No buses
Unable to walk/cycle anywhere

I live as @WonkyConk on the edge of a large village with great amenities
I walk, cycle to work on a dedicated cycle path, within a minutes walk Im out in the countryside but the opposite direction is a nice village with decents shops, dentist etc

Farmers have public liability insurance and would feel very awkward if you asked if your kids could play in the fields.

I absolutely agree with this.
Some country locations do have buses available.
You could look at locations eg in a village which have a regular bus service.
Villages do exist with train stations, depending which part of the country you live in.
Also living in a village with amenities is different from living in a very isolated place.
The countryside is not homegenous.

Precisely
Also rural communities/ businesses are not there for people to cosplay Enid bloody Blyton !

It's interesting because I live 3-4 minutes down a single track lane, 5 minutes from a local village with no amenities, 10 minutes from a larger village with doctors, shop etc, and 15 minutes from two large towns in opposite directions with lots of amenities, even a minor injuries unit.
I'm also only 10 minutes away from a major motorway.

If you looked for my house on Google maps I am in the middle of nowhere, but not really.

So yes there is a difference. I think many can confuse rural with remote, the latter of which has far more cons and overlaps with alot of what people are saying on here.

Many of the cons I don't experience. I have great internet, deliveries etc for example.

I think a huge amount of the potential cons depend on your child. I grew up in the countryside and loved it (30 minutes by car to the nearest town) but I was very lucky and had a friend just down the road and our parents took it in turns to drive us to see other friends or into town. I'm quite an introvert and love my own space so it never massively bothered me but you do miss out on quite a lot of you're a social type. You can't just go into town with your friends without a lot of hassle, you can't go and sit in a cafe or meet them without prior arrangement etc. if I'm completely honest it probably did mean that I was not as independent as I could have been when I left home. On the other hand that could absolutely be seen as a pro as I never had the pressure to go and hang out in some dodgy park or outside someone's house either!

Talk it through carefully and don't be under any illusions that the countryside is some sort of idyllic place where nothing goes wrong and you will be in a good place to see if it works for your family.

Definitely live on the edge of a small town rather than rural with teenagers. Teens seem to ‘need’ to be with their friends at every opportunity, shopping, cinema, parties, sports, bowling, restaurants, pubs as they get older, just hanging out with friends. It will really limit things for them if they can’t easily access these things independently.

I think it’s a lovely idea, but too rural not great for teens. We are only 30 min walk from town centre but still a 5 minute walk from lovely countryside. And we still have a good community feel. Our kids loved growing up here.

On the teenagers and hobbies thing. I swim for a club in the neighbouring city, none of these city dwelling kids are getting themselves to and from swim practices independently...

The farmers offered, didn't even need to ask 😊We have land we let other people use too. FFS some people are so uptight. It's a field 🤣