Pros and cons of living in the countryside

[sharkstale]

We've made the decision to move to the countryside next year.
My daughter will stay in the same school (will be in yr6 then) and move up to the same secondary school as planned, so she doesn't have to leave her friends. It just means more of a drive (roughly 15 mins, so not too bad).
My son will be 2.

To anyone who lives in the countryside, what are the pros and cons of living in the countryside?

I'm looking forward to more nature, open spaces, quiet surroundings, and good views.
Not so much looking forward to more spiders in the house as we don't tend to get spiders where we are now and I absolutely hate them!

Currently in a new build, so wary of things like damp problems and higher heating costs in an older house.

But I'm sure there will be more pros and cons than just these, so would like to explore them more before committing to moving.

Getting woken up at 4am by someone's cockerels.
Never going to see shows or plays.

I’m a bit confused. You’re moving to within 15 mins drive of your child’s school. It will hardly be worlds apart.

Tbh, it wasn't until I've written this thread that I've realised how much we lack living here. The broadband, the phone signal, amenities, anything within walking distance. Life probably really wouldn't change that much. I just wanted to make sure I was clear on all the negatives before deciding. My daughter's school is currently a 1-2 minute walk from my house, and she has lots of friends of the estate, so it's good to be realistic about how much the extra driving around impacts ones life. Some posters dont seem to mind it, others do, so it's important I figure out which camp I fall into before making such a move. Other than that, it all seems fine.

Main issue is working out if you need to take them to school or college or if there is a bus service. Bear in mind even if you have a bus service when they reach 16 they have to pay quite a bit for transport to education. Check bus services. Many around here don't start until 7.30 and finish around 6. Check bus service connections with other bus services. If you child get a part time job they may find it hard to get to the location without you as taxi or more than one bus.

Being a taxi - meeting friends (controllable to an extent), Education - non negotiable. Part time jobs - non negotiable. Consider driving lesson costs at 17 (you will both want them to do them at this point!).

Once children are independantly driving things get easier. The main thing is if your local pub is more than a mile away you won't be able to drink and go out (if you like to do this).

Food shops can be a pain, but investing in a delivery service helps.

It is lovely in the summer when you can roam the fields and footpaths. Not so lovely in winter when the roads are icy and you need to get to work.

Overall I enjoy living in the country but I am mindful of the fact im getting older and may need to move into town if I can no longer run my car.

Whilst I, like pretty much everyone else, listed driving everywhere as a disadvantage in my earlier post, thinking more about it also has benefits and I actually rather miss it now. I spent a lot of time driving my DC to their various activities in their teens but it also meant that I spent lot more time with them than I would have done otherwise and we talked about everything from world politics to what was on the lunch menu at school. I also got to know their friends as we lift shared and I was even forced to admit that some of their musical tastes were quite good!
Yes, it could be a PITA at times but we had some great conversations in the car, especially on longer journeys. So yes, that's a con, but can also be a pro.

Depends how rural to be honest? Is there a bus? Footpaths? A shop?

Driving gets very, very tiresome very quickly and you will become a taxi driver for your kids.

How rural? What elevation? Ask people who live there what it’s really like.

Some places near me are only 15 minutes from the nearest town but still get cut off in winter, and most residents keep a chest freezer full of emergency food, and stocks of firewood.

Some in villages can be quite into one another’s business. If you’re a private person, that can be challenging. Fortunately my neighbours are nice but hamlets can sometimes attract people who have moved there because they don’t like to live near or be with others!

We lived rurally with just two close-ish neighbours till we sold and relocated 18 months ago. For me the pros were -

Having no really close neighbours

Our 0.5 acre garden

Our own supply of logs for the wood burner which was a necessity in our location

Loads of countryside on the doorstep

Peace and quiet (most of the time!)

Lots of owls ❤️

Our own private borehole water supply so no water bills

And the cons -

Neighbouring farmer's animals getting into our - fenced - garden. We had sheep, chickens, goats and cows at various times!

Septic tank which I hated and caused no end of issues when we sold the house

Oil fired central heating - I constantly feared running out of oil

Much of that countryside couldn't be walked on - plenty of 'get 'orf my land' situations, so usually drove the dogs for their walks

Closest shop (a small Co-op) 15 minutes drive, too far to walk really and along streets with no pavements

Having to drive everywhere - nearest big supermarket was around 30 mins drive and further for decent shops/nights out

Terrible broadband and phone signal

Regular powercuts

I was expecting armies of spiders, but they were actually worse when we lived in a suburban seaside location.

We moved there some years after DS had left home - and tbh I don't think we'd have done it when he was living with us - but he learned to drive at 17 anyway, so that wouldn't have made a difference, imo.

After six and a half years I couldn't wait to get back to 'civilisation', even though I knew I'd miss the peace and quiet. We'd lived in a well-serviced small village before, but living in the deepest countryside was a step too far for me. But I confess that now we're on the edge of a small town with lots of neighbours (who are nosier than those rurally, imo), two minutes from the sea, I do hanker for semi-rural life lol 😆

Oh yes, this. It was actually lovely having all that time to talk to them regularly 1 to 1. So many conversations, both relaxed chatting or occasionally if you needed to talk to them about something important when they couldn't escape 😆. Or they you. It was amazing the things that got brought up whilst driving/being driven.

It is a pain having to drive your kids to school until they leave at 16 or 18. I am almost done with school runs after 3 kids. I don’t live in the countryside but DD has some health issues. Don’t under estimate how much life is easier by a child being able to take themselves to and from school. Depends on how social your child is too regarding how much driving you could end up doing. Guess it’s something to bear in mind that she will live further out than her friends.

Who would drive in a city ? Those places have public transport for a reason.

We live rurally and dc were bought up here. Nearest shop is a 10 minute drive, no public transport but also absolutely beautiful, no next door neighbours and so much peace. Internet is an issue and we now have Starlink as we do not have fibre. We are outside a village but it has no amenities. We were a taxi service for dc although they did have a school bus, it was fine, you get used to it. Both dc have loved growing up hear, loved the outdoor life etc. ds25 now has bought a house somewhere quite quiet and ds19 plans to live rurally and loves walking etc. Every family is different but it suited ours.

Just be prepared to live in your car. I feel bad for teens who live rurally, my friends who did hated it as they never had any independence. Why not find a town in the country instead.

There are 2 seasons in the countryside. Mud season and fly season. Neither were an issue when I lived 3 miles up the road in a town, but they've dominated my life for the past 10 years. Worth it for the views though.

I grew up in the country and would never inflict that on my children. It may seem idyllic to adults and small children but to teenagers it’s so limiting. Public transport was rubbish, only one of my parents drove, and doing things spontaneously with friends was impossible. We now live a short bus ride from a biggish town and my teens have enjoyed the opportunities to gradually develop their independence. They were able to walk to school at the end of primary, get a short bus ride to secondary school, take the train to the cinema with friends as young teens, explore the night life as older teens etc etc. They certainly never craved scenery and a quiet life!

Possibly no gas so you will have to remember to get oil for your heating.

I was a teen in a village - not inflicting that on my own kids. They have a wonderful social life of independence in our small beautiful city. And I can walk to real stunning countryside 1 km on foot from front door. That said I walk into the city Nov- april as just too muddy. My teens would hate to live rurally.

If it snows really bad have a well stocked freezer and cupboard in case you can't get out. Also you will be a free taxi service!! 🤣🤣

This is exactly what my DH says about his rural childhood. He was determined to bring up our DC in a city and I can fully see why. Our two teens can easily get themselves out to see friends by walking or taking public transport. They have easy access to loads of amenities and entertainment, and are very independent. It’s so liberating knowing they can navigate public transport on their own, walk to the cinema or park or whatever to meet friends over half term.

Hi OP, nothing massively constructive to add except to say we are stuck in a similar dilemma but looks like we have the opposite dilemma to you! We are seriously considering moving towards the secondary, which is in more of a countryside location. We currently live in a great, suburban location with fantastic transport links to the city and great facilities on our doorstep, however, eldest has gone to the secondary school which is about a 25 min drive to an area with a lot less facilities. This area is great but I do find suburbia very uninspiring and yearn to get more house and space for my money, which we would living by the school. I think I am destined to spend my life in the car either way!

Just to add, as a lot of people are focusing on teenagers having more independence living in a city, my closest city is Colchester, which is awful for knife crime and drug use. It scares me to think of my dd growing up around that.

We moved to the countryside when I was 12. I hated it then and hated it more and more as I got older. My parents both worked FT and I missed out on a lot of social stuff, in the school holidays in particular, as I was dependent on them for lifts. I resented the fact that my friends could all walk to and from school together and walk to each other's houses, which meant that they would often meet up spontaneously or last minute and I couldn't do that so I felt quite left out sometimes.
I'm sure there were 'pros' for my DP's (they talked a lot about how they loved the peace and quiet) but there were none for me really.
I left home as soon as I could even though I was really close with my parents and we had a good relationship.

How old are your kids? While I understand your worries, they do need to learn to navigate these things. Mine goes to school on the bus [that I drive her to] in our small local city which is pretty run down and always smells of weed, but it means that when she goes off travelling in Asia when she’s 18 or early 20s, or at least to live in a city for uni or spreading her wings (and she will), I have the reassurance of knowing that she’s had more experience than our tiny village (pop. around 1000) could give her.

But living in the country won’t protect her from that.

Look carefully at available walking routes. Some areas benefit from abundant footpaths, others do not. You can find yourselves surrounded by countryside but with no access into it.