Pros and cons of living in the countryside

[sharkstale]

We've made the decision to move to the countryside next year.
My daughter will stay in the same school (will be in yr6 then) and move up to the same secondary school as planned, so she doesn't have to leave her friends. It just means more of a drive (roughly 15 mins, so not too bad).
My son will be 2.

To anyone who lives in the countryside, what are the pros and cons of living in the countryside?

I'm looking forward to more nature, open spaces, quiet surroundings, and good views.
Not so much looking forward to more spiders in the house as we don't tend to get spiders where we are now and I absolutely hate them!

Currently in a new build, so wary of things like damp problems and higher heating costs in an older house.

But I'm sure there will be more pros and cons than just these, so would like to explore them more before committing to moving.

Actually, it really really can.

The latest crime recorded within five miles of my parents house was in the early 90s.

Does it mean they'll never been in danger? No. Does it mean that the dangers are substantially reduced? Yes.

We're moving to a more rural area for different reasons, but youth knife crime is a serious problem where we currently live. It's practically non-existent where we're moving.

And on the independence side, in my experience rural kids can have a lot more "safe practice" at independence than urban kids. Because of the safety, they're more likely to spend time working out things by themselves than urban kids. Just my experience, but it definitely tracks with the cohorts I know.

I don’t think it’s like it was years ago because so much of teens lives are online with each other now. I have two teens and don’t ferry them around more than I did when they were younger and did after school activities once or twice a week.

We are very rural in the countryside in Scotland but because we aren’t far from a large A road, it’s only 17ish mins to the (tiny) town where my dc go to secondary school. When we used to live in a large village in the midlands, it could take me twenty mins to pick them up from clubs because of traffic and parking. So not much different really.

I think you are either someone who is a country person or you aren’t. It’s hard to know until you’ve done it. Worst case, you move back?!

I live in a coastal village with a population of around 1000
Co-op is 2 villages along, and a city is about a 15 minute drive.
Broadband is ultrafast, 4 bar phone signal.
Its ideal for me as its rural but accessible, and I dont get many spiders at all.

Not sure if this has been mentioned but if you are a keen gardener you may have problems.
For instance deer are rife around here - before we installed a 6 foot electric fence all I could grow were prickly or poisonous plants. Then there's squirrels, jackdaws... bloody pheasants (a nearby farmer holds shoots on his land), rabbits... even little birds if you want to grow soft fruit. They all regard your garden as an "all you can eat" buffet.

And the previous posters who have mentioned teenagers... our kids were very isolated because the public transport is so poor especially in the evenings. We had to fetch and carry them to clubs... Brownies, Scouts etc. or friend's houses. As they got older these lifts could get very late at night.

Really ?? My experience is the complete opposite. Urban kids are street smart which is a good and bad thing, country kids are used to being ferried everywhere.

Pros: Village life (provided its a village of 1,000 or so people) is far more active than city life, everyone knows everyone but a huge issue here is that a lot of getting to know people comes from the school drop off and picking up. If your children do not go to the local school with the other local kids (and parents) you won't get to know them at all. It's far quieter, its far darker in the winter. Your children are in a safer environment, because our local school is only 80 kids my children knew every single parent and pretty much where every parent lived. If anything happened to my kids they instantly had 50 different doors to knock on and say 'please help' and they would have been safe.

Cons: Nothing is available quickly - everything relies on a trip to get it, busses can be a nightmare, in the winter nothing happens after sundown outdoors.

My best advice is get the kids involved in local village life asap and then meet other parents from that.

I would take bringing up the children in a village everytime over bringing them up in the city.

Definitely consider the lack of public transportation and the impact on your dd. Your dd will be relying on you all the time. It's likely she'll be looking for independence as she grows older. She'll have no friends close by. I think it will be very isolating for her. You might be able to give her a lift but her friends parents might not be willibg to drive to your house.Also what about post 16 for college and she might want a part time job.

It probably depends very much on what sort of rural we're talking.

The area I grew up in was a national park, with extensive public transport, lots of job opportunities and also a small semblance of nightlife for all the visitors to the area.

Very different to one of those villages which is five miles from the nearest village and fifteen miles from the nearest town, I suppose.

And from my perspective, "street smart" can be a bit of a misnomer for "lightly or seriously involved in drugs, smoking and risky sexual behaviour" - smart is knowing how to avoid the bad and enjoy the good, surely? My husband grew up in an urban area, and although straight laced, being mugged twice and walking into a murder scene en route to school wasn't in any way enriching.

I just don't think it's as straightforward as city = good and rural = bad for teens.

I did say street smart is good and bad for me it means:
Not being thrown when the train is cancelled/late but being able navigate buses or another route
Knowing when trouble is about to kick off and how to avoid it.
Sounds ridiculous but how to cross a busy road in stationary traffic on foot.
How to minimise your chances of getting pickpocketed or mugged.

These things probably do imply being exposed to drugs, alcohol and low level criminal activity between 14-18 but I would suggest being better able to handle situations when they arise as a young adult living away from home.

@TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis but as a teenager she's still going to want to go into the city, explore and go out with her friends - rural living isn't a cushion from all that, it just means that she'll be overly reliant on mum/dad and less able to navigate things should they come up when she's even older and on her own.

I just don't think it's as straightforward as city = good and rural = bad for teens.

I'd add to that and say that I don't think city v rural living is the decisive factor in whether teens grow up to become independent/resilient.

Yes, we didn't have much public transport where I lived. But as a teenager my parents could drive me to the bus stop 4 miles away where I'd meet a friend and we'd catch a bus 50 miles to go to a big shopping centre. That's plenty of independence for a 13 year old imo. Friends with anxious parents who lived in a town were much more restricted and didn't learn how to deal with anything themselves. It wasn't a rural/town divide.

I absolutely agree that rural living does not mean lack of resilience. Ds was catching the bus with friends to go camping etc at 16, he was working at 15. At 17 and driving he was travelling across the Uk for sport and holidays, at 18 he went to live and work in New Zealand. Although we are rural we do leave and visit cities etc, dc are exposed to the world outside. Yes you have to drive them but if you live rurally many of their friends do to so they are all in the same boat.

Anyone who thinks rural areas don’t have drug problems is naive.

We live next door to our village's drug dealers! They are perfectly lovely to us but clearly have a thriving business.

N RTFT but my friend lives rurally and has often had this conversation with me (she's in a hamlet near the coast) because I often dream of moving somewhere more remote.

She wants to move eventually even though she loves it as her health is in decline and the nearest hospital is so far away, she's afraid if she had a health scare she'd be dead by the time any emergency service got to her/got her to the hospital.

Also-no dentist for miles around
When the weather is bad there's nothing to really do. She's quite an outdoorsy person and gets quite depressed in winter.
She notes that within her hamlet it seems that every teen is smoking drugs. They're bored and there aren't any jobs for them.

But, it sounds as if you won't be quite as isolated so these things may not happen for you?

I feel I have the best of both worlds really. I am in a village with very much a 'village life' feel, local pub, church, neighbourly relations with everyone, local woods, duck pond and farmland.

BUT, 15 minutes and you're in a big city. An hour and you're in beautiful countryside. My friend's account of rural living has put me off!

Having lived in the country for a while the big con, the huge one, the overwhelming downside, I'd say, is not living in a city.

I grew up in a very small town in a rural area. Lots of pros as already listed above, mainly access to the outdoors, peace and quiet, community feel etc.

Biggest cons are definitely transport, public transport was very limited where I lived, so if you didn't drive/ have a car you were pretty stuck with nothing to do or reliant on other people. My parents were constantly driving me to places when I was a teenager and before I could drive. There's very little for teenagers to do. When I used to come home from uni and didn't have a car I felt completely trapped.

Logistically, everything requires more planning, the lack of access to a range of shops is annoying, if you forget anything from your weekly shop it might be a 20 mile round trip to get it. The biggest con those is many rural areas have very poor access to hospitals and healthcare facilities, which ultimately, led to my parents moving back to a city again once they were older and had health issues.

I definitely miss it though, but on balance, wouldn't want to live in a rural area again. Currently living in a nice suburb very close to open countryside, but with two cities in easy reach, which gives the best of both worlds.

A couple of the recent posts mention being further from a hospital, and I have to say, this is now my most deciding factor in potentially changing my mind. My ds has a minor accident the other night which required a quick dash to a&e for a check over and butterfly stitches. The fact I could get him in there in 10 minutes in a panic has really put me off the idea of moving further out.

If it means teens cannot be independent DO NOT DO IT. You can live close to the countryside without alienating them.

This in spades, unbelievably naive, drugs were far more present as an issue in my rural area I grew up in than the market town I am in now. Boredom and employment strains will do that to people! A heck of lot less police too.

I used to be 1hr from nearest A&E... It's more a frustration than a significant risk. There's generally a stronger network of medics (GP and local nurses) and volunteers when you get properly rural.

The teen boredom and constant driving is the main negative. The other is fear of car crashes. At my rural comp each school year lost 1 or 2 pupils in car crashes. New drivers alcohol and country lanes is a deadly combination. Remember clinging to my friend in fear in the back seat being driven home by a drunk lad. My teens after a night out can walk home get a bus or hop in a £7 uber. They’ve learnt to drive but rarely bother

I drove out yesterday to a small town in Yorkshire, through lots of countryside and also a small, lovely village and the odd solo house a distance from any other. Rural though not the back of beyond.
After reading this thread I was looking for where you could walk in this countryside, and realised it would either be along the very fast road I was on with very intermittent paths, or up one public pathway (I think - I didn’t stop to check the sign) accessible by the fast road. The green off the road was all farming land (that’s fine of course) and I didn’t see anyone walking at all. Such a shame you have the views and peace, but are more or less trapped in place without a car.
I know not all countryside will be the same but it is something I’d not thought of much before - my previous village didn’t even benefit from lovely views.
I remain happy in my city with plenty of walks, green, water in walking distance but that’s personal preference of course.

@MsJinksthis is the thing, I grew up in one of the most beautiful places in the country, green hills for miles. But actually the countryside wasn’t very accessible in a lot of places, it was either privately owned and/or challenging terrain, despite living literally in the middle of nowhere we still needed to drive somewhere to park somewhere officially and have somewhere we had right to roam (and the marked footpaths etc). And I do that now I live in a town, I can be at a beautiful national park in less than a 10 minute drive and still have all the perks of town living.

This is all stuff for me to really consider. I want the views and space, but I want to be able to walk out my front door and not have to jump in the car to access the space. It seems pointless. I could stay where I am for that. I want river walks in walking distance, but sounds like I might not have that either. My mum's village is perfect, but too far out for us to move to. At least this thread has helped me narrow down what's important.