Pros and cons of living in the countryside

[sharkstale]

We've made the decision to move to the countryside next year.
My daughter will stay in the same school (will be in yr6 then) and move up to the same secondary school as planned, so she doesn't have to leave her friends. It just means more of a drive (roughly 15 mins, so not too bad).
My son will be 2.

To anyone who lives in the countryside, what are the pros and cons of living in the countryside?

I'm looking forward to more nature, open spaces, quiet surroundings, and good views.
Not so much looking forward to more spiders in the house as we don't tend to get spiders where we are now and I absolutely hate them!

Currently in a new build, so wary of things like damp problems and higher heating costs in an older house.

But I'm sure there will be more pros and cons than just these, so would like to explore them more before committing to moving.

You get organised or die trying when it comes to groceries.

I was the first of my friends to have a proper "pantry cupboard" of goods down to a frozen pint of milk at university, because we lived five miles from the nearest shop.

Potential con: my parents made going to the shops a massive occasion, habit that hasn't left them. Going to town is a big deal and they always want to go to all their shops.

My parents moved our family to the countryside when my eldest sibling was about to start at secondary school. It was great for me and younger sibling who liked animals, mucking about outdoors and had each other for company. It was disastrous for eldest who had lots of friends and independence at our previous home. Poor public transport, no shops or other facilities, miles to friends.

Living rurally doesn't always guarantee good dog walks, if the land is cultivated or contains livestock.

You’re moving to an older house? How is it re energy efficiency? Is the loft/attic lagged? How old is the boiler? If it’s a place where it floods or snows take that into consideration. Nothing worse than being in the middle of nowhere then. Is there anywhere else nearer a proper village you’d consider moving to?

I suppose it depends how rurally you're talking in terms of proximity to towns / cities etc and where in the country (as in, the countryside down south is far more accessible than in the far North of Scotland!!!).

However things that we experience (Peak District) -

No Uber / Deliveroo / Just Eat / Uber Eats.
Power cuts and TV and broadband regularly going down due to bad weather (we're on the Moors so very exposed)
The pretty much constant smell of manure at certain times of the year 😆
We have mice who live in our house full time (it's an old house though and right next to the water).
And as others have said, complete reliance on driving everywhere. The only thing we ever do on foot (as in, from the front door) is walking the dogs.

One thing to maybe make your kids aware of... We see roadkill and dead animals on a very regular basis. Rabbits, pheasants / grouse, deer... We've also come across dead sheep and other animals whilst out walking the dogs. We're desensitised to it now but I remember I used to cry every time I came across a dead animal and I know that a lot of kids find that part of countryside living pretty hard (if they don't come from a rural background).

We live in an old (1800s) house with high ceilings. 3 bed, 2 bathroom. Energy bills are about £200 a month. It's not energy efficient in the slightest but I would take it any day over a new build.

Best thing I ever did was move to a small highland village. Fabulous access to countryside, nature and views (from my lounge!), amazing villagers support, landed a good job, great school etc.
However, it is also one of the toughest things. The lovely villagers are the best and the worst in society living cheek by jowl, they can turn in an instant. You have to drive EVERYWHERE - so swimming lessons = 22 miles each way. 20,000 miles a year in my car. Shit broadband. Non-existent buses. Electric heating. Only the co-op and the paper shop for food (unless you drive 22 miles to the next co-op...). You can feel 'hemmed in' at times when all you want is a change of scenery and guess what, it is 20+ miles away... Jobs are few and far between. Commuting can wear thin. etc etc.

That said, best thing I ever did and I would not change it for the world.

But proper rurality, not some southern England villages every few miles with more people and things to do than half a northern county, is very different.

We are rural (only a primary school and shop in the village). Only buses through are the secondary school ones twice a day, or it's a 40m walk to the local train station. Kids loved it when they were small (no dog but we are all outdoorsy); winter snow and power cuts fun, and everyone in the village has wood burners, as fallen trees in the winter regularly block access roads (and all the menfolk turn up with their chainsaws to have a nice day out 🙄).

As the kids get older, both got into (different) sports and what with training, competitions and social lives, it's one big taxi service, that you can't really say no to.

Great incentive for them to learn to drive asap at 17; we will probably have to get a third car for kids to use for sports logistics as both adults will be using theirs for work.

The local shop is very well stocked however don't underestimate the logistical faff of the 30m round trip if you need something they don't have.

Ironically we were discussing the other day whether we should move when the kids go to uni / move out, into a town, so we can walk to eg cinema, theatre, entertainment etc, when we're old and decrepit, rather than relying on being able to drive. We didn't come to a conclusion, but it's the same things as for your teens.

Our teens do love living here and have said they wouldn't want to move into a town, but both are very beholden to us to drive them absolutely everywhere.

Research public transport - especially college transport as this often is not there

pros:
safety
blissful silence and beautiful surroundings
real sense of community
no light pollution so you can seethe stars
less crime
kids won’t hang out on street corners
no anti social behaviour

cons
you will be the transport
regular power cuts / water cuts
paying annually for bulk gas
septic tanks
severe weather really affects you
distance to hospital etc

however you can live in the country and still be close to cities and infrastructure but that comes at at a cost

I love where I live 4 miles from a popular village on the outskirts of a ciry

Manchester and Liverpool are under an hour away

no public transport though

15 minutes away from the school she was going to attend doesn't sound like your life will change too much.

'Countryside' here means an hour to the nearest supermarket

Not sure much will change for you OP

What does that look like for your future teenagers? How independent will they be able to be? Can they go visit friends after school, can they meet people, can they invite people to yours? Can they get a part time job when the time comes? I would be very weary about them staying fully dependent on you as the driver. Will you be dragging your 2 year old everywhere so you can take the teen? If you are considering moving anyway, then why not move to a place that offers a better experience to your teen?

We live in a village, approx 5 miles from a town. We have a pub in our village, a little church and we are surrounded by rolling hills and have one bus each day. Loads of pros to being surrounded by nature. Some of the cons:

• powercuts. Ensure you have a woodburner so if you get a powercut, you always have heat and some way to toast bread for your dinner! You could always get a generator too if this is an issue for you. We have mostly seen these as a bit of an adventure, especially with kids! ENsure you have lots and lots of candles in storm lanterns too so you are prepared for the inevitable!
• transport. Lots of neighbours cycle in our village which is fine for adults but not really safe for young kids. We do have to ferry our kids everywhere. It's not an issue for us as we like driving but I know for others this might be an issue. Our kids are either driven to school or get the school bus that stops at our village pub.
• Broadband. Is fast but not as fast as those in towns experience. Both husband and I work from home and its fine. even when kids are also using the internet but it will likely be slower than you would get in a town.
• Spiders! We do get alot because we bring wood into the house for the woodburner. This is somewhat mitigated by putting conkers in many places each year and during conker season. Seems to repel them nicely.
• Dogs- they are bloody everywhere in the country, likewise their excrement. I love dogs but there are too many of them and lots of irresponsible owners which is the real problem.
• Road conditions- we are the last to get potholes sorted as understandably, the council is prioritising major routes. Likewise gritting in the winter.

we have lived where we are for nearly 20 years and came here when child free, then had our kids here. Never regretted this move and would actually like to go a bit more rural on our next move as I love seeing the seasons change, which you really do in the countryside.

Worst thing about living in the countryside IMO is having to drive everywhere.

I live in the countryside and I hate it!

I love the safety and quiet but it’s boring and the worst thing is relying on a car.

People say you get to go on lovely walks but I have to drive to get there so it defeats the point.

I see people in cities and they have loads of hobbies and attend groups. We don’t have that here and I’d have to travel over 30mins to get there.

My job is an hour and a half drive away but I am fortunate that I have a job as they’re scarce.

To go to the closest gym it’s a 20min drive.

There is no public transport.

I would love to live in a small town that has a bus and train service and I can walk to the shops. The trouble is you’re paying for this privilege and I’d have no idea where to move to.
I am waiting on my youngest to finish school and then I’m moving asap.

You don’t seem to be moving too far away from your support system which is good and I’d take an older home over a new build any day.

More spiders/spiders webs
mud
stuck behind tractors
poor internet
no atm for miles , we had one but it was ram raided
countryside crime
board teenagers
one pub in which locals shout
no - or very few bands on
few buses
random pavements when walking back from pub
train fares to London
pot holes
reform / Tory voters
one cop for about 15 villages
only shops are coops or farm shops
abundance of craft fayres, produce shows and other such wonders
smell of muck spreading
horses and horse poo (admittedly I have horses)
need to wear wellies and bobble hats
local humour (sexist, racist)
flags on roundabout
tourist traffic sometimes
dog walkers from town’s parking and blocking roads
20 mph
speed bumps

other than tat it’s great

People say you get to go on lovely walks but I have to drive to get there so it defeats the point.

Where on earth do you live which is in the countryside but you have to drive to go on a walk @Tacohill ?!

TBF @SevenYellowHammers I agree re the tractors however I still get places faster stuck behind a tractor at 15mph than driving round Manchester / Leeds / Liverpool!!!

For context we live in a village with a pub within walking distance but no shops. Nearest petrol station/small shop is about 6 miles away, supermarket, doctors, dentist 8-10 miles.There isn't any public transport through the village and the nearest mainline railway station is 40 miles away though there is a branch line about 10 miles away. Our DC went to primary school 3 miles away and secondary 20 miles. I'm not sure if you'd see that as "countryside" or not OP. We've hot friends who live in cities wvho think we live in the wildernessand others who live down tracks in houses with no mains electricity who think we have a positively urban lifestyle!
But if you're thinking about somewhere similar to where we live, here's my experience/opinions.

Pros:
Fresh air, open spaces.
Low crime.
Good sense of community. It's a bit "old fashioned" here but we like that. I help run a community event that's been going, with a few changes, since the 1800s and I love the sense of tradition.
Outdoor activities on our doorstep. This is the biggest plus for us because that's our lifestyle. My DC grew up being able to do things after school and at weekends that many other children only do on holiday. I can get on my bike and ride from the front door for hours on quite country roads with stunning views. We can be on our boat and sailing in under an hour from leaving home.
We had excellent schools with small class sizes though appreciate that isn't everywhere.

Cons.
Travel. This is the number 1 downside. You have to travel for almost everything.
Lack of choice can be an issue . We were lucky (or maybe we planned well!) to have good schools nearby but if we'd not liked them we wouldn't have had much option. I had a bad experience at our local hospital recently but it's not easy to go elsewhere etc.
Reduced options for cultural activities. It's not zero - we've been to see some great visiting artists at our village hall and there's a thriving local performing arts scene - but for big artists, exhibitions etc you have to travel.
It's pretty monocultural here. My DC didn't really meet many people from different cultures, religions etc until they went to University.

I think it depends very much on your lifestyle. If you are outdoorsy people obviously you are going to enjoy country life a lot more than if you want to spend yout time in art galleries and concert halls or indeed shopping centres or watching Premiership football. It's horses for courses.

Regarding teens, none of mine went of the rails and sat around the graveyard drinking and taking drugs, and nor did any of their friends. So it's not necessarily the recipe for boredom and disaster that many people will tell you. But I do think you have to be prepared to work hard to facilitate their interests, probably harder than in urban areas. For example, one of my DS's was on his sport's national talent pathway which meant a 250 mile round trip on a school night for us for training, whereas some of the other boys were walking or taking a short bus trip. I think if you choose to move to the country with children you can't then refuse to give them lifts to things and you need to accept that it's going to cost you more time and money to give them some opportunities. (But less for others of course.) We've never regretted it and my DC had very happy childhoods but it doesn't work for everyone.

I think pros and cons depend on your perspective. I live rurally in a village surrounded by farmland. My local FB is kicking off about the farmers' bird scarers disrupting the peace and quiet. Someone else has chipped in to complain about the mess when the farmer ploughs his field - they feel he should consult with them first.

Where do you live or where have(nt) you visited that you dont understand this

Many of these places are on NSL roads with no pavements, narrow, dark, mud strewn at the edge, you cant just get out your house and start walking

There might not be footpaths through the local fields and even if they are, they're unpassable at this time of year

You have to get in a car to drive to somewhere suitable to walk around.

Yeah, people who have moved to the countryside but then complain about standard countryside matters are VERY annoying. They don’t tend to stay long.

I've lived in my house for 40 years. It's a barn conversion in a small village. No shop or public transport but a village hall with lots going on. School buses pick up and drop off. My DC were brought up here, now adults.
Pros
Great for young children. They can safely go out alone, play on the village field m call for friends.
Actually not bad for older children because you always know where they are. Their friends also live in villages.
Loved having a houseful of teenagers on a weekend.
Walking, nature etc.
You can get anything delivered now, when we first moved here there was no supermarket delivery but my neighbour and I would borrow if we ran out of something rather than get in the car to drive to a shop.
I can drive to a gym, shop, cafe in 15 minutes.
I can be in a city in 25 minutes.
Bigger houses, more space, bigger garden.
We now have super fast bb so WFH is fine
No traffic, no congestion.

Cons
No gas. Oil central heating is fine but I miss a gas hob and a gas fire. We have a multi fuel stove with back boiler and I know people have romantic ideas about fires but they are filthy and greedy.
No mobile signal. You can get round this now with WiFi calling but visitors always struggle.
You have to drive everywhere.
DC in villages all learn to drive at 17 but you still have to take them to stuff, especially once they go to parties and drinks alcohol.
I'm done with it and want to live somewhere I can walk to amenities but DH doesn't want to move.
Mud.
Power cuts.

Two important things that I think haven't been mentioned yet are water and sewage.
I live in the countryside and my house has a private well and a septic tank. Both are ridiculously expensive if they go wrong. It would be less stressful if the house was connected to the mains.
The quality of country roads can be bad. This is also expensive in terms of wear and tear on cars and tyres. Kids need a car at 18 so that's also very expensive.

I live in a village that’s not too far from a town. Still has only one bus an hour although Uber has arrived. Recently people from the town came and covered our village with flags, non of them locals, consequently the (previously pleasant) village community has fallen apart. If anyone comments on the flags they are immediately told they’re a ‘traitor’ and ‘unpatriotic’ (by the town people). Feels like bullying. I want to move.

^ this.
My friend's parents moved a couple of miles when we were about 17. About a mile of that was a winding narrow road with no pavement, walkable verge or streetlights; despite being about 2 miles from a train station, it really wasn't very safe to be walking home on dark evenings/early mornings so they were picking up/dropping off to and from the station a lot.
They paid for his (& later his siblings) lessons, insurance & first car in the end.

having grown up in a city, and brought my own children up in the country (not entirely by choice) i would say don't do it. it's great until the kids are about 13 but after that it's a long round of taking them places, even the one bus to school, in the nearest town 10 miles away, was completely unreliable. ours all learnt to drive the second they turned 17 but that brings its own headaches too, with cheap cars, expensive insurance and fretting about them driving along deserted single carriageways at 60mph in the pitch black.

there's nothing like a bit of independence as a teenager, i loved being able to hop on the tube to meet my friends or go shopping, and i wish mine could have grown up in a city or big town.