Division of responsibilities

[Advice5]

Just want some opinions do you think this is a reasonable set up? My husband works long hours and works really hard to provide for us. I work part time across 3 days. We have 3 kids youngest is in preschool. I do 95% of everything childcare related, all domestic tasks apart from the bins, school admin etc. I pay for the food shopping, kids activities, anything kids need day to day clothes etc and whatever i need for myself. I can treat myself to things i may want to as my husband doesn't put financial pressure on me which i am grateful for. My husband earns a lot more than me and has managed to pay our mortgage off which i am grateful for, he pays the bills and for holidays too. He is also responsible for investing what money he can but puts this under both our names. He isn't pressuring me to increase my hours when my youngest starts school in Sep. Do you think I should expect him to do more at home or do you think this is fair? Any thought from part time workers also welcome. Tia

Lmao!! You are replying very quick it is my day off surely you're not run off your feet at home and must be sat on your phone so i rest my case there. Lol i dont pay the bills as I've said already. I think some people come across very uneducated if they can't see that actually getting different viewpoints can help you see things that you can't always see when you are in the middle of a situation. . you may be the type of person who always thinks they are right if they start off with a viewpoint i am not.. I like to learn and grow. I have had much more positive feedback about the set up compared to views like yours so I think I know what is what thanks 👍

I won't be wasting anymore time on these types of responses. Its almost like people are pissed off with their own lives and trying to make others feel bad about theres lol

But she isn't caring for preschoolers. They are at nursery. She has explained in previous posts she has two days at home child free.
That's why I don't see how it would then be fair to expect their partner who works til 7.30 to then have to come home and do 50% of the chores when she has had two days of leisure time.
As I suggested (and has been taken on board) looking at the bigger picture of who does what and whether it's fair when you look at every aspect and take into account how much time someone has available is the fairest way. Planning her two days 'off' so they are 'work' days then seems like they are both doing the same e.g. knowing that on Thursday she batch cooks to fill the freezer, mops the floor and hoovers while Friday is put washing on, go to the gym/for coffee, come back hang washing out, do dusting.

Your posting is very odd.

It’s your life, you don’t have to convince me how happy your are!

I personally think the more important question is, if your mortgage is now paid off and you don't plan to move, what are your financial goals? How much money do you have and what is it for, are you planning on early retirement for both of you? How much more do you need? Do you have enough that your partner could step back and do shorter hours in a different easier job, or go part time himself to spend more time with the kids and share the mental load more? That way he doesn't need the time off to himself on the Sunday and you can spend it as a family. It doesn't sound like you're financially stretched, so if you're feeling you want him to spend more time with the kids, as he should want, what can be done about that. I think that is the conversation worth having.

Lol I'm not 😂you have been trying to fight against what I have said lol how strange

I think you're perfectly clear OP

Totally get that! I've only just gone back to work part time and I'm a teacher. We'd like to get to a financial position where I could take a career break in future but I do see the benefits of continuing part time work.

Also DH actually said to me last night he's been thinking and he's going to try and move towards work that is less time-consuming as he wants to make sure he's able to be more present

I think your life sounds amazing. When would he have time to do more and what are you asking for? Personally we have prioritised more time at home so we are nowhere near a paid off mortgage or investment accounts or any of that, but you will absolutely have a much nicer retirement etc than I will. That is a totally legitimate choice and it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to do this while having a young family. But what else could he possibly contribute - all the financial security, no pressure on you and half the weekend responsibilities?