To think male nursery workers should be banned for safety reasons?

[Carla786]

I KNOW most men who work in them are fine but sexual abuse in nurseries is overwhelmingly committed by men. No more men, much less abuse risk.
Yes we need more CCTV etc to watch bad women but it cuts SA risk immeasurably.

We can still have male primary teachers etc kids are old enough to speak up then.

And yes, you can ban on the basis of sex for safety reasons. In women's refuges, eg.

I would not ban men from working in nurseries. There are several reasons for my having this view. The first is that the risk of a small child being abused by a male nursery worker is very small. Most people don't refuse to fly because occasionally aeroplanes crash. Second, it's important for children of both sexes to see men as well as women as carers. Third, it weakens the argument for women breaking into traditionally male areas of work if we restrict what men are able to do.

Tbh I don't know the statistics for how many women tie down and suffocate the babies in their care but I don't think it happens as regularly as pedophilia. If it was as common, I should think we'd be wary of that too.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-69026072.amp

this tragic case has been widely reported. Focusing on one kind of abuse doesn’t protect children it just feeds stereotypes

You'll get crickets around here as soon as you suggest someone stays home with the children for a few small years.

That makes me feel sick to read, and not knowing whether or not your baby is treated well in these settings is my primary reason for not putting my 12 month old in nursery.

The only difference between this example and male pedophiles working in nurseries is that this is a rare, shocking incident committed by one woman.
Society always find reports this like extremely shocking when these acts are committed by a woman, reason being, it's not as typical for a woman to want to hurt a child.
Unfortunately, pedophilia is less rare, and these men seek out children to abuse.

So how many children have died in nursery at the hands of men?

downplaying incidents involving women doesn’t help anyone

I haven't downplayed anything.
If anything, those supporting men working in nurseries are the ones downplaying things.

If you wanted to compare male and female abuse in childcare settings. (Which is a reasonable thing to do. No point ignoring it.) You'd need to compare the proportion of male and female childcare workers carrying it out. Since far more women work in nurseries than men.

Anyone who thinks “ban men”’is the answer is downplaying the actual risk of abuse.

We are the ones aware of the risk, hence why we don't want random men around our children.

If you’re downplaying the risk from women then I don’t think you are aware. Your so focused on one form of abuse that your ignoring others.

If you really wanted to mitigate all risk to your children, you wouldn't want them around random people (men and women). Even if most are fine, you only need one bad egg. The safest option for your children, assuming your home is a safe place of course, is at home with a parent in the preschool years. That's what I chose, and chose to make work, because I didn't want random people of either sex taking care of my vulnerable young children.

Reflecting on this, and I’ve realised that if you think of positions of trust in our society you’ll also be able to think of at least one example of a man who’s abused that trust to sexually abuse, rape, and/or murder women or children.

Police officer. Teacher. Other school staff, such as school caretaker. Priest. Doctor. Surgeon. Paramedic. Nursery worker/childminder. Sports coach. Children’s entertainer. Celebrity. Aid worker. Taxi driver. Foster carer. Care worker. The list could go on and on.

I do agree with what the OP has said about the particular risks posed to pre-verbal children and providing them with intimate care. But when you zoom out and think about the scale of male abuse of trust in society it becomes quite overwhelming.

Most shoplifting is committed by women, should we ban women from shops?

Same principle, no?

Should there be only make paediatric nurses because all the reports about paediatric nurses killing their patients have been women - Lucy letby , Beverly Allit

Did you mean to equate stealing goods from shops with the rape and sexual abuse of human children?!

No, I'm not. You must have missed where I said I won't have my son in nursery because I don't want any risk of harm to come to him.

This thread is about sexual abuse by men in nurseries. It's factual that many men who want to abuse children will seek out employment settings in which they can do so. They're called professional predators.

Also,

That's not a specifically female crime and Beverly Allitt and Lucy Letby were 2 cases 25 years apart in the UK in a profession dominated by women. So it doesn't show a pattern.
There have been three cases of male paedophile nursery workers in the news in the UK since November 2025.

There might not be a pattern but any risk is too big when it comes to my children. Hospitals - I stayed with them 24/7. Childcare - I did it myself.

None of us are suggesting banning male doctors because of Harold Shipman because it was a rarity, same as Lucy Letby. Male sex abuser nursery workers much less rare, especially as they are 3% of nursery workers

Absolutely. It's very important for our male children to see men in caring roles so they don't think it's just "women's work"

I think the problem with this ‘if you don’t want your child to be sexually abused at nursery then stay home to look after them’ line of posting is that it’s really just another form of victim blaming. Don’t walk alone at night, don’t wear revealing clothing, don’t put your child in a nursery.

Also - side point, but you do need to take some risks with your children to be semi-decent parent. Sending them to school is a risk.

It's not victim blaming. You should be able to trust people with your children. I just didn't.

School? Didn't do that either. I wasn't subjecting my kids to the harm female teachers inflicted on me. It's had a much more lasting impact than any SA I might have experienced. I didn't have to isolate them to keep them safe either. They've all grown up successful, social and speak highly of their childhoods.

They’ll just transition, identify as female and work in nurseries that way

Unfortunately, women are more likely to be stressed from carrying the mental load at home, busy gossiping, or in a peri/meni fog. I would say your children are at far greater risk of neglect at the hands of a distracted woman in a nursery, than SA by a male. I do understand the statistics with regard to pedophiles seeking employment in childcare, but a blanket ban is not the answer. Children escaping settings or being left on trips when in the care of female nursery staff happens ALL THE TIME, and at this point they are fair game for all the evil men, not just the ones with enhanced disclosures!

Parents are able to request that intimate care is only provided by female staff, and have this formally included in your child's care plan, there is no need to set back gender roles 50 years!