Dd’s friends mum always saying she doesn’t like what Dd makes

[Thislawyerguywitharedface]

A few times now, Dd (7) has made her best friend at school little things-boxes with hearts in or card’s with glitter etc.
Dd has mentioned that each time she gives her best friend something she’s made, her friend says that she loves it but her mum said she doesn’t like it. This has happened a few times, seems odd?

You are overthinking this. Of course the mum doesn't want more tat coming into the house but it's very unlikely that she has directly said she doesn't like it. She has probably said to her daughter to keep it in her own room, or has said why doesn't she keep nice things for her own family (and this has then been taken as mummy doesn't like it).

You can't possibly keep everything small children make and every picture they draw unless you're happy to be a hoarder. Keep a few nice bits and pieces and then it's perfectly normal for the rest to be recycled. If he struggles with the idea although personally I doubt most 4 year olds remember all the things they create show him the bluey episode the dump.

The other thing to consider is that at that age, no child is making anything amazing or valuable. It's not like an adult who spent hours crocheting a cute little animal or knitting a scarf and you just bin it. Kids simply enjoy smearing around with paint, glitter, clay, etc. The stuff they make are basically side effects of learning fine motor skills, which is more important for their development than someone keeping all the stuff that gets made.

I wouldn’t over think this. They young child is telling your dd that her mother doesn’t like these things, we don’t know exactly what was said. Maybe the mum is just drowning in art projects? Maybe the child caught her mum putting said objects in the bin?

No one really wants glitter, paint etc..from another child in their home?

Of course we should act grateful when we receive these things but it’s likely at some point the mum has moaned about it and the child has seen that as them not liking the objects.

This is true, most of the value is in the making of these things, not in the keeping of them.

Really, you can't just say, well I love them

Teach your child they might be the centre of your universe, but they aren't the centre of everyone else's - surely you're aware of this @Thislawyerguywitharedface

Your medal is in the post.

I've worked with children for around 14 years, and I can say that children at some point exaggerate, misunderstand and lie...the extent just varies!

I would take what your daughter's friend is saying to your daughter with a pinch of salt. It's possible the glitter annoyed the girl's Mum, and her daughter took it to mean she dislikes the trinket your daughter made.

I'd find it odd for a grown adult to tell her 7 year old daughter that she dislikes every single item your daughter has made for her friend!! It just doesn't ring true!

I think other mum is horrified at the thought of other kids shite cluttering up her house! She's probably juat said something along the lines of 'can we throw this away yet?' She isn't saying it directly so she isn't intentionally being mean. She'd no doubt be mortified to discover her kids grassed her up 😂

Next step is to teach your daughter how to make a glitter bomb 😉

She’s probably made some off the cuff comment about the glitter or that’s it’s more ‘stuff’ to clutter up her dd room! A bit mean spirited but I wouldn’t give it much thought.

Maybe she didn’t say it to her but could hear her mother going on to the dh or family member or friend about how much she hates how her DD’s friend keeps giving her stuff and she wants to make it stop as it has got too much and she hates it.

How often does she make her friend things? Once is fine but if it’s regular she’s probably fed up with all the crap coming home with her kid, I ca see why she probably said to her daughter she was sick of it 🫣 I do find it odd you’re so invested in such a trivial thing. I think the best thing you can do to save your child’s feelings is to tell her maybe to stop making her friend so many things and just make you stuff instead if her thing is to make paper gifts all the time. I agree with others here, it’s bad enough dealing with the utter shite your own kids bring home without dealing with someone else’s kids tatty homemade crap 😂 Is your daughter your only child?

I agree with PPs that it will be the glitter the friend’s mum doesn’t like. I got completely fed up with it when my DDs were younger. Glitter is just so messy!

I never had the heart to tell them, though, as they loved it, especially DD1. I just grumbled about it with my DH.

Her mum is fed with DD for filling her house with useless tat!

I doubt she says she doesn't like it out loud. Perhaps that's rhe message her dd is getting though.

Tbf, our kids bring home enough home made crap that then takes ages to part with without yet another source of incoming stuff by way of gifts.

I suspect she is trying to grin and bear it but quite frankly peeved. Perhaps your dd could do something else? Maybe a shared notebook to pass messages back and forth.

It is probably the glitter - it falls off, gets on hands, clothes, carpet, surfaces. Depends how well stuck on it is.
Someone gave me a card with confetti in and it was annoying.
I think the Mum hasn't been rude and it isn't that she dislikes your child.
It could also be she doesn't like plastic, or anything that cannot be recycled (glitter again). A lot of people don't, she may not encourage or allow her children to buy it or play with it. It is quite common.
I often hate party bags and the tiny plastic tat that ultimately breaks and goes to landfill. It isn't the gifts or the party bag itself, I don't dislike the parents, I just think it is wasteful, we all feel the pressure to do it, and it all just ends up in landfill.

Omg it would drive me nuts if my kid kept coming home with this crap from a friend, its annoying because its just messy tat but kids won't let you bin it because "it was a present from my friend!"

Can you encourage your DD towards things that are easier to store tidily away?

• no paper (it just rapidly ends up ripped or crumpled and tends to migrate sadly round the house looking a mess)
• NO GLITTER!!

friendship bracelets or loom band bracelets are smaller and much easier to encourage DC to store away in drawers.

Additional crap with glitter on in addition to the stuff your child makes fantastic

I think she has enough of her own dc’s models and pictures and doesn’t want added stuff in her home.

Don't make a big thing out of this. Just explain to your daughter that everyone likes different things and maybe try different decorations instead of glitter.

Some selfish parents care more about how some little pieces of art can clutter their house. Doesn’t matter how important it is to their child or that another child spent time making a present. We had special boxes for keepsake when mine were younger.

Yes it's a bit paranoid!

I guess the mum sees this gifts as yet more tat that she has to find a space for. Lots of parents don't value their own children's art/craft work, let alone another child's. I would try to rein your DD's enthusiasm for gifting in a bit tbh.

My young daughter once told her friend that my DH didn't like her dad. Luckily her friend's mom immediately told me and we figured out that DH had said he didn't like wearing suits, like her friend's dad did. Had a big talk with DD about not repeating things she heard and about being kind. Even if it were true, no reason to tell someone. We all still laugh about it 20 years on (both DH's as well).