Dd’s friends mum always saying she doesn’t like what Dd makes

[Thislawyerguywitharedface]

A few times now, Dd (7) has made her best friend at school little things-boxes with hearts in or card’s with glitter etc.
Dd has mentioned that each time she gives her best friend something she’s made, her friend says that she loves it but her mum said she doesn’t like it. This has happened a few times, seems odd?

What ever household needs - more piles of glitter-shedding kids craft and artwork!

How big is the house? How many kids?

There is some tact missing - but could your dd be diverted into making something else...bead bracelets or something?

This sounds really weird. So every time your DD makes something for the other girl, she takes it home then the next day says "I love it but my mum hates it?"

That doesn't really seem likely. But there are a host of possibilities here. Maybe the little one is saying "look at Jane's picture, she's so much better than me" and the mum is reassuring her. Maybe the friend doesn't want them and is trying to put your dd off giving them. Or maybe she's just being a bit mean as some kids are without rhyme or reason!

DD's BFF gives her little bits of writing and things she's made, and honestly it's a a pain, as it's just more stuff we need to find room for and DD generates plenty of her own "little bits of stuff"! I would never dream of letting DD or her friend, who is lovely, know my true feelings about it though.

It's possible that the mum feels similarly (especially about the glitter, which goes everywhere) and as a PP says above, it just trying to say that they can't keep it all.

She is actually saying she doesn't like the items or is she saying she doesn't like your DD always giving things to her DD?
Sometimes messages can become distorted and I think it would be very odd is an adult said she didn't like something a child made. Buy I can imagine a mother saying something like I wish X would stop making things for you

Art work goes on fridge door or wall in kitchen then gets regularly recycled or put in box if particularly good. Cards go on windowsill in the living room or child’s bedroom

It’s not hard. As more comes in. The same amount goes out.
small boxes are used for hair bands / grips or other little things

Heart shaped box dd decorated in primary school is still being used as a handy box to store extra cat toys and cat nip.
This box is nearly 20 years old.

Maybe she's deeply religious and is afraid your dd is lesbian?
Maybe it's the glitter?
Maybe the friend makes it up?
Maybe the friend misunderstood- like the mum said she doesn't want it displayed in the living room or something.

So many possibilities so don't worry about it. Just tell dd to do things without glitter- because I hate having glitter all over the house. And encourage her to make things for other people as well; you, family, an old neighbour etc. Maybe the mum thinks it's a bit too much of another child's crafts coming into her home.

Adults need to realise how hurtful their remarks are.
Even if you hate something. If a child has given something they have made to my child, even if it is badly made or just clutter you smile and say how thoughtful. You display it until the next thing comes in then you put it away in the box of keepsakes in your “storage locker”

If you must say something you comment by asking why not make things for their own family members , grannies, granddads, auntie Shiela etc

You never say you hate something their friend has made. It’s going to drive a wedge between the friendship and if you value having a child with friends that do reciprocal play dates you can kiss goodbye to those.

I was friend In this scenario.

Chances are though that the mum hasn’t said that she dislikes the stuff. It’s more likely that the child has misinterpreted/doesn’t like the stuff herself and is using her mum as an excuse/is fibbing to be mean.

She can sod off. The present was for the child, not for her.

My mother would have said that when I was a child and then gaslit me if I’d told the friend and she’d asked her about it! (this actually happened - slightly different as mother told me she didn’t like my little friend!)
So yes it could well be true, there sadly are nasty people about who should never have become mothers.
Your daughter sounds like a sweetheart, I feel sorry for her being so kind and treated so poorly. Not sure what the solution is tbh.

If you don’t want to find space for the drawings and paraphernalia in the kitchen and don’t want to put cards up in the child’s bedroom or on the windowsill in the living room and don’t want to hurt your child’s feelings by throwing away their stuff infront of them then what do you do.

The stuff is coming home to you whether you like it or not. It’s part of being a parent. For a few short years your house gets filled with drawings of stick figures, potatoe prints and paint daubs and crafting things

Then it goes down and then the next thing you know you have the teenage years and it’s at that point you realise that dealing with a hundred paintings of stick figures and cards that produce double their weight in glitter each day is far easier to deal with than the rollercoaster ride of emotions and nonsensical arguments you are now on

Every stage of parenthood seems hard when you are living it. Then you get to the next stage and you realise that the previous stage was easier than what you are dealing with in the present time.

I do think children of this age aren’t that deep.

I think it is exactly what was said. Probably more on the fact that it’s not just her DD’s stuff she has to deal with.

Some parents are like that.

I know lots of children that age who are/were that deep.

I would encourage dd to make things for other people.

Good lesson on only making effort where it's totally appreciated.

I think this might be being relayed differently to what’s being said. It’s like a school fete or receiving a party bag etc, in the mom’s eyes it’s just more things to clutter her house. Not condoning the mom’s reaction but it could have been something left on the side & DH picks it up & a flippant remark has been made about it. You don’t know why, how or what’s really being said, however, this doesn’t mean your daughter has to stop making her friend things. It’s so thoughtful and lovely she wants to treat her friend. I’d pay it no attention and probably explain to your daughter that the gift isn’t for the mom it for her friend & she loves it and that’s all that matters

Exactly this! You’re being ridiculously paranoid! I used to hate my kids bringing anything home with glitter on it. It didn’t affect my view of whoever was responsible for it being in my house! Gifts made by small children are a bit shit and unless it’s your child or grandchild making it most people wouldn’t find it cute. There really is nothing more to it!

Yes, that's paranoid. She might be one of those people who is honest with their children rather than gushing over every little thing, but is probably not realising her daughter is reporting back to your daughter ... Eeeek.

It is filtered through not one but two 7 year olds. So I really really really wouldn't take it a) as truth or b) personally because see point a.

Yes, probably. I was definitely guilty of that when mine were little. I bet there were plenty of times I wasn't discreet enough about my hatred of slime, glitter and play-dough in party bags etc. Unfortunately I am terrible at hiding the truth from my face.

She is probably a minimalist and your daughter is giving clutter.

To be perfectly honest, things made by DD's friends are the first to get binned. I love the girls themselves but we simply don't have storage for piles of wonky tat. Especially ones with glitter spilling over, or oversized paper creations that are impossible to fit into drawers. I have no sentimental attachment to creations made by another child and there's no purpose in keeping those forever. Chances are she will have zero contact with those friends in 10-12 years anyway, so what's the point? Photographs or cards yes, but handmade stuff no.

Pretty sure the other mum didn't like it in terms of clutter and space. Possibly the glitter too if it got all over the car seat, school bag or another place that's impossible to clean.

It’s clutter and maybe the mum is getting fed up of it now and then… I wouldn’t over think
obviously the mum wouldn’t really be delighted with a constant stream of random stuff coming into the house? I don’t understand what’s confusing about that. If the kids are happy then lovely but surely you wouldn’t be all that enthusiastic about a stream of handmade random tat into the house either???

Do they not mind? My eldest is only four but he’d be gutted if I got rid of anything he’d made me!

You have to get rid of stuff eventually! If I’d kept everything my 3 had ever made me we’d have to have hired a storage unit.

I’ve got artwork from my children and grandchildren from many years ago. I just can’t throw it away!