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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the way MN lets anti trans extremists hijack a tragedy is pretty despicable

385 replies

Blu3Shoes · 13/02/2026 06:34

I’ve read several threads full of hate filled anti trans ideology diatribes with zero thoughts for the victims, Canadians upset asking for some empathy and making it clear they as a nation just need to grieve, anti trans hate speech….

Jumping on a human tragedy to push your extremist agenda whilst MN just sits back and lets it happen on multiple threads is as low as you can get.

One wonders how low MN is going to sink. It’s such an unpleasant place now. I guess all HQ cares about now is getting a good price in the sell off.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
auserna · 16/02/2026 14:50

Being gender critical is not an "ideology" any more than atheism is an ideology.

Scramado · 16/02/2026 14:59

Ereshkigalangcleg · 16/02/2026 02:17

I would add that you don’t even have to be a Reform voter, one opinion that certain self righteous posters think is suspicious and they’re trying to trip you up and “out” you as a secret Reform troll/Trump supporter. It’s very funny.

I’m not going to vote Reform but if I was so inclined all the pious ‘vote Reform and Farage will turn you into handmaids’ guff would make me more determined. We’re fully functioning adults capable of reading manifesto’s and deciding for ourselves thanks. Feeding us overexcited hyperbole like we are total morons isn’t going to change who we vote for.

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 16/02/2026 15:13

I think perhaps Mill makes the same mistake in his generic characterisation of some peoples as "barbarians", although I guess the lack of shared language and imperialist context made it harder for even the best thinkers of his time to breach that gulf of understanding.

If you listen to the In Our Time episode, the guests address this. It[s the first one with new presenter Misha Glenny, and I think he did a good job.

ArabellaScott · 16/02/2026 16:41

Ereshkigalangcleg · 16/02/2026 02:17

I would add that you don’t even have to be a Reform voter, one opinion that certain self righteous posters think is suspicious and they’re trying to trip you up and “out” you as a secret Reform troll/Trump supporter. It’s very funny.

Its kind of funny, only there have also been people claiming voting should be public, and then we have people going round making lists of who isnt willing.to support their right thinking campaign, and we have a young man - brain dead or killed - at a demonstration in France, and increasing numbers of people who are overt about justifying violence.

More extremist approaches, more intolerance.

I'm still utterly scunnered how many apparently rational people are openly happy to suppport the Palestien Action Elbit people, despite their use of violence.

Taytoface · 17/02/2026 07:02

@Blu3Shoes another mass shooting by a transwoman in less than a week.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15565931/amp/Hockey-shooting-Rhode-Island-Robert-Dorgan-transgender.html

How many before we are allowed to ask the obvious question, whether believing yourself to be of the opposite sex might be an indicator of mental health problems so severe it can lead to tragedies such as these?

Hoardasurass · 17/02/2026 08:43

Taytoface · 17/02/2026 07:02

@Blu3Shoes another mass shooting by a transwoman in less than a week.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15565931/amp/Hockey-shooting-Rhode-Island-Robert-Dorgan-transgender.html

How many before we are allowed to ask the obvious question, whether believing yourself to be of the opposite sex might be an indicator of mental health problems so severe it can lead to tragedies such as these?

So hes a family anhilatot aswell as a massive shooter.

DifferentNameForQuestion · 17/02/2026 09:17

Taytoface · 17/02/2026 07:02

@Blu3Shoes another mass shooting by a transwoman in less than a week.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15565931/amp/Hockey-shooting-Rhode-Island-Robert-Dorgan-transgender.html

How many before we are allowed to ask the obvious question, whether believing yourself to be of the opposite sex might be an indicator of mental health problems so severe it can lead to tragedies such as these?

Chilling warning signs before 'narcissistic' trans dad 'shot ex-wife and kids' in hockey game bloodbath.

Awful. Trans women are not women. They are men and continue to display male pattern behaviour.

Helleofabore · 17/02/2026 09:47

Not only was Dorgan someone with a transgender identity who had very poor mental health that doesn’t seem to have been treated with helpful therapy, he also, just like Jesse Strang posted on social media about his anger with clear pointers to his mental health.

While it is no relief to his family and his other victim’s family, at least the media this time was immediately clearer about the sex of the shooter. Leaving no one in doubt and no discussion needed as to whether it was a male shooter.

JustSomeWaferThinHam · 17/02/2026 13:26

OP seems to have gone very quiet. Is there any chance you have read all the information you have been provided with and realised the errors of your thinking? @Blu3Shoes

We can live in hope.

DifferentNameForQuestion · 17/02/2026 13:31

Helleofabore · 17/02/2026 09:47

Not only was Dorgan someone with a transgender identity who had very poor mental health that doesn’t seem to have been treated with helpful therapy, he also, just like Jesse Strang posted on social media about his anger with clear pointers to his mental health.

While it is no relief to his family and his other victim’s family, at least the media this time was immediately clearer about the sex of the shooter. Leaving no one in doubt and no discussion needed as to whether it was a male shooter.

Edited

The media should be completely honest when reporting when a person is male or female and not use their pretend gender. Crimes must be reported to the correct sex.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 17/02/2026 17:59

Scramado · 16/02/2026 14:59

I’m not going to vote Reform but if I was so inclined all the pious ‘vote Reform and Farage will turn you into handmaids’ guff would make me more determined. We’re fully functioning adults capable of reading manifesto’s and deciding for ourselves thanks. Feeding us overexcited hyperbole like we are total morons isn’t going to change who we vote for.

Er, you're talking to people in the country that voted for Brexit.

Whether you believe Brexit is good or not, the level of pro-brexit rhetoric that worked really doesn't support your point that we are analytical, reasoning, genuinely literate adults truly capable of weighing up the benefits and drawbacks.

The anti-Brexit campaign worked on the level of the lowest common denominator. Successfully.

ThatCyanCat · 17/02/2026 18:03

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 17/02/2026 17:59

Er, you're talking to people in the country that voted for Brexit.

Whether you believe Brexit is good or not, the level of pro-brexit rhetoric that worked really doesn't support your point that we are analytical, reasoning, genuinely literate adults truly capable of weighing up the benefits and drawbacks.

The anti-Brexit campaign worked on the level of the lowest common denominator. Successfully.

I voted Remain, but I honestly think a lot of people voted Leave simply as a protest vote. They didn't expect to win, and they didn't expect it to be enacted if they did, as the referendum wasn't supposed to be legally binding.

Same now. I think a lot of people are voting Reform (which I will never do) in protest rather than real solidarity for what it stands for. It's a really destructive thing to do, I agree, and if Reform win it won't matter what people's motivations were, I guess, but still... I don't think it's as unpreventable as many people think. We need a different rhetoric to dissuade people, though.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 17/02/2026 18:29

Agreed - it really doesn't increase confidence in the general level of thoughtful assessment of the issues though.

Hoardasurass · 17/02/2026 18:36

ThatCyanCat · 17/02/2026 18:03

I voted Remain, but I honestly think a lot of people voted Leave simply as a protest vote. They didn't expect to win, and they didn't expect it to be enacted if they did, as the referendum wasn't supposed to be legally binding.

Same now. I think a lot of people are voting Reform (which I will never do) in protest rather than real solidarity for what it stands for. It's a really destructive thing to do, I agree, and if Reform win it won't matter what people's motivations were, I guess, but still... I don't think it's as unpreventable as many people think. We need a different rhetoric to dissuade people, though.

Agreed much in the same way people stupidly voted Labour no matter how much they were warned. People don't learn.
Though what we really need is some decent politicians who can do the job they're paid to do without lining theirs and their friends pockets or throwing women under the bus

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 12:48

Well, even though the media is reporting Dorgan's sex accurately, we are now at the point where media is using 'they / them' instead of using only clear and accurate sex based language. So, while I don't believe many people will be in doubt that Dorgan was a male shooter, they are left having to read and reread the reporting to understand who has said and done what.

All because a group of people demand that all of society act as if that group's subjective belief about their identity is supported by material reality when it never will be. The impact on understanding in media is reduced.

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 21:52

What is also noticeable is that because the media was clear that the Rhode Island shooter was male, the thread about the shooting is bringing out news coverage and discussing domestic abuse… almost like if the media isn’t lying people aren’t simply responding to the falsehoods and gaslighting.

Fuck. Whoodathunkit?

ThatCyanCat · 18/02/2026 22:01

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 21:52

What is also noticeable is that because the media was clear that the Rhode Island shooter was male, the thread about the shooting is bringing out news coverage and discussing domestic abuse… almost like if the media isn’t lying people aren’t simply responding to the falsehoods and gaslighting.

Fuck. Whoodathunkit?

I can't stand the fucking projection and DARVO from this ideology and its followers. Sal Grover says every accusation from them is an admission and she's right. A mass murder takes place, the killer is deliberately falsely reported as female everywhere in an outright lie, but anyone who objects or just points out the lie is guilty of obsession with transgenderism and not prioritising the right thing. Women who want the decency of single sex spaces are accused of being perverts ("obsessed with genitals"). People ask for honesty amd accuracy in reporting and record keeping and they're accused of being despicable and all that. I'm so done with it. There's absolutely nothing to it. It's just all lies, distortion, false accusation and fucking bullshit. Men, even nice men, aren't women. They're just not. Cats aren't clementines, pianos aren't tulips and men aren't women.

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 22:15

Sal is a very brave woman.

And as she says, (paraphrasing) if someone lies about who is female and who is male, who is going to trust them again.

Gaslighting society is harmful enough. Further gaslighting by demonising those who object to being gaslit is what we saw.

I hate the fact that there was another shooting incident. However, the difference in reaction has been stark and clarifying.

I doubt there will be any apologies however. Because the aim was to demonise the objectors in any way and at any cost.

Helleofabore · 21/02/2026 14:21

Interestingly, this is yet another example of how clear and accurate language stops most of this discussion about people being gaslighted with reports using the wrong sex language for a person committing the crime.

https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/courts/2026/02/20/sex-offender-who-assaulted-vulnerable-young-man-jailed-for-five-years/

No one is stuck in this loop of questioning this man's sex category.

Remarkable, isn't it? If correct sex is reported and media don't use obfuscating language, the issue around discussing transgender status is not discussed anywhere near as much and the significant issue of a male person predating on young male people is being discussed. Along with is the system letting down both victims and perpetrators. I don't hold sympathy for the predator, however, I also question if anything more can be done to break the cycle of his lack of ability to get work etc.

Again, I doubt that anyone will be jumping on any thread where this male prisoner's behaviour is discussed to reprimand and shame women discussing it, when the media is reporting it with better clarity and so the discussion does not then contain shaming posts (or entire threads) aimed at any woman saying 'this is not a woman'.

Judge Orla Crowe noted there was no expression of remorse besides a guilty plea, for the 'predatory, intimidating behaviour'

Sex offender who assaulted vulnerable young man jailed for five years

Ronaldo Otto, who goes by the first name Samantha, pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 20-year-old autistic man

https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/courts/2026/02/20/sex-offender-who-assaulted-vulnerable-young-man-jailed-for-five-years/

Helleofabore · 22/02/2026 08:26

This is a shocking development

https://vancouversun.com/news/tumbler-ridge-shooting-victim-celebration-of-life-postponed-threats

The family of Tumbler Ridge shooting victim Kylie Smith said they have postponed a celebration of life for their 12-year-old daughter after receiving threats to their safety by “a very dangerous person.”

and

“We are so sorry we had to cancel Kylie’s service today,” the Saturday post reads. “We saw how hard everyone was working on it. From what we are hearing, we are at least the third family of the deceased to be harassed or threatened by people from their past since this awful tragedy took place. Like we all weren’t dealing with enough already, crazy.”

Who the fuck is threatening the families of the victims? And why?

Family of Tumbler Ridge victim postpones celebration of life after threats

RCMP is investigating after the family of 12-year-old Kylie Smith said that threats against them have forced them to postpone the service.

https://vancouversun.com/news/tumbler-ridge-shooting-victim-celebration-of-life-postponed-threats

TheKeatingFive · 22/02/2026 09:03

Helleofabore · 22/02/2026 08:26

This is a shocking development

https://vancouversun.com/news/tumbler-ridge-shooting-victim-celebration-of-life-postponed-threats

The family of Tumbler Ridge shooting victim Kylie Smith said they have postponed a celebration of life for their 12-year-old daughter after receiving threats to their safety by “a very dangerous person.”

and

“We are so sorry we had to cancel Kylie’s service today,” the Saturday post reads. “We saw how hard everyone was working on it. From what we are hearing, we are at least the third family of the deceased to be harassed or threatened by people from their past since this awful tragedy took place. Like we all weren’t dealing with enough already, crazy.”

Who the fuck is threatening the families of the victims? And why?

Extraordinary. What kind of people would do that?

Helleofabore · 22/02/2026 09:05

I have no idea Keating. If it is true (why would it not?) there is something very wrong in that place.

DeanElderberry · 22/02/2026 09:26

The pacific NorthWest generally has got very odd lately, but British Columbia has been a bad place to be a woman for a long time, particularly a poor or indigenous woman.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highway_of_Tears

Helleofabore · 22/02/2026 09:54

It is being reported on the CBC.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/rcmp-investigating-threats-tumbler-ridge-victim-family-9.7101187

B.C. RCMP investigate reports of threats against Tumbler Ridge victim's family

Family says they believe they're not the only recipients of the threats

In a statement to CBC News Saturday morning, the B.C. RCMP says it is aware of the threats and that it is investigating.

"A safety plan is in place for the individual(s) and community as the investigation continues. RCMP officers in the community have connected with the mayor, and community leaders to ensure ongoing communication and public safety planning."

ArabellaScott · 22/02/2026 10:16

Helleofabore · 21/02/2026 14:21

Interestingly, this is yet another example of how clear and accurate language stops most of this discussion about people being gaslighted with reports using the wrong sex language for a person committing the crime.

https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/courts/2026/02/20/sex-offender-who-assaulted-vulnerable-young-man-jailed-for-five-years/

No one is stuck in this loop of questioning this man's sex category.

Remarkable, isn't it? If correct sex is reported and media don't use obfuscating language, the issue around discussing transgender status is not discussed anywhere near as much and the significant issue of a male person predating on young male people is being discussed. Along with is the system letting down both victims and perpetrators. I don't hold sympathy for the predator, however, I also question if anything more can be done to break the cycle of his lack of ability to get work etc.

Again, I doubt that anyone will be jumping on any thread where this male prisoner's behaviour is discussed to reprimand and shame women discussing it, when the media is reporting it with better clarity and so the discussion does not then contain shaming posts (or entire threads) aimed at any woman saying 'this is not a woman'.

I assume Otto will be going to a women's prison, though. Ireland being fully on board with self ID.

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