AIBU To Think Remote Work Isn't Sustainable?

[HighlandsExpat]

I work a very stable, secure 9-5 corporate job. I have been in this role for 1.5 years. I work in the office three days a week but my team is in another city so I don't see them in person.

I realized today I often go the entire workday without speaking! Which is probably good for my facial wrinkles but actually detrimental to my mental health. I am social outside of work and feel happy with my life and friends, but do feel like my job is incredibly lonely and isolating. Which is odd because I just got a promotion and am taking on lots of responsibilities, but hasn't translated into actually meeting new people or even having to speak more. I send a lot of emails and am chatting on MS Teams all day. I know we aren't pre-pandemic when it was five days a week and you would sort of naturally form relationships at work, but I cannot imagine being in this job in a few years.

AIBU to think this isn't sustainable? Do others feel this way sometimes? All of this is triggered because an old colleague emailed to wish me happy birthday and organized a virtual coffee chat. It made me a bit sad because I haven't had one of those (coffee with a colleague) since I left my old job.

covid proved it is possible. plus how much productivity is down when people chat in the office etc ? both have merits

I’ve been working largely remotely for 20 years. Even when I’m in the office, my team is all over the UK so none of our meetings are in person, except for maybe a big once a year meeting (but those are less and less as no money in budget to pay for travel - I end up having to pay my own travel costs to attend!). I’m going self employed and will be 100% remote. Again, clients all over UK and globally. No reason to ever see each other face to face. It can be done over Teams and travel costs are just too high.

Dh runs a business. It does have an actual commercial premises, but he’s only there one day a week. No reason to be there more as business ticks along from home office just fine.

it seems people are needed in offices because from an economic point they in theory use local businesses near the offices etc

Clearly different things work for different people.

The thing with remote working is the genie is now out of the bottle- we know now that a lot of jobs can be done from home. Pre Covid, the reason everyone was able to be in the office together is that (generally) people had to live wherever the office was/in commutable distance. Now people are free to live wherever and WFH or only commute in once or twice a week, how would you propose we go back?

I agree its silly to make anyone go into an office for an amount of days to sit alone and be on Teams with people anyway, but that's blanket office mandates with no strategy or thought behind them beyond "we want you in because we said so and have a lease to pay" for you.

There are plenty of jobs and companies who would require you to be in the workplace full time, you could always go find one of those.

I didn't vote. Obvs it doesn't suit you but it would suit many. By "didn't speak", do you mean no f2f conversations or you didn't physically use your voice? I am widowed and live happily alone. There are often days when I don't have conversations but I sing, shout at the TV, swear at what my current DIY or gardening project is and so on. While I get the different people different needs thing, I don't think its up to employers to provide a social life. obvs your needs are such that you won't be unreasonable to leave your job, however I do think that you are unreasonable to expect your employer to do something about it.

The first reply nails it.

Do you think? I used to work in an office and hated it. There were 6 people in our room and I have no idea what the other 5 did.

instead of using local businesses near their homes?

only the supermarket etc, because its said some use the dinner places, the costas etc

Except, it is not my job to prop up Pret or Costa.

thats the thing thats the puzzlement of it all, to me people use the businesses or not, etc

This. especially with the current COL problem, also environmental issues. We are being encouraged NOT to use lunchtime takeaways!

I guess it depends on the individual. My dh has worked from home for 15 yrs now. He uses a co working centres once a month and has made friends there.

But people who work from home still buy things. I still have to eat lunch, and my lunch at home will probably be much nicer than a slightly soggy ham sandwich in a lunchbox or an over-priced salad pot from Pret. I spend more on things for my house because I'm here all the time rather than just an hour or two for dinner and bed. It does save me money overall because I don't have to pay for travel but I thought the government wanted us all having savings so we have a safety net they don't have to pay for? If your business model is entirely off people who are only buying from you because they are a captive audience then it's probably not very sustainable.

Mumsnet is the home of the anti-social and socially anxious so you will inevitably get a lot of replies saying how great remote working is.

It isn't. It is a terrible fit for the job I do and everyone is worse at their job because of it. We do a lot of partnership working and its clear that the organisations who have moved most away from full time WFH are outperforming us.

Its dreadful across a whole range of domains.

I think hybrid is ideal, but full time WFH is a terrible idea for most jobs.

I don’t think I’d like it. I think wfh works for those who have sociable, busy lives and/or eg young families, but if you haven’t got that then spending all day alone working isn’t going to be good mentally. We are not yet robots and so require social contact.

I think your statement of sustainability is a strange one. It’s clear that it’s suitable for some and not for others just because it doesn’t suit you, doesn’t mean it is not sustainable for all.

Remote working has many sustainable perks for businesses and employees and the environment.

I work hybrid and it works well for me I enjoy the mixture of office and home. Having said that I don't really socialise with colleagues. Sounds like home working isn't he right set up for you

Why don’t you have catch up meetings ? We have a catch up meeting and even if there is no work business to discuss we have a chat as a team . We also have people on site every day and alternate between home and site. It works really well . The only thing I find doesn’t work consistently is if there is a new person training and they can’t have the same level of input from a consistent mentor as the mentor is at home some of the time

Exactly what I was going to say! I think the argument for having people in the office means they spend on the high street is a pretty weak one.

Lots of people who work in a building alongside others barely speak. Some places it's too loud to hear or you get disciplined for chatting.

Some work doesn't require you to speak.

But speaking in general seems to have reduced.

So I don't think it's just down to WFH.

I think people are so obsessed with online communication you'd have people texting/messaging eachother or emailing even when they're easily within earshot. Both at work or home.

I get the nuance but it's less about arguing the merits of WFH, than how it has evolved to facilitate teams who are located globally. Which in your case has meant you don't have to relocate for a job?

I agree with you. There is a lot of social isolation in working in an organisation where you don't physically meet your colleagues.

I think you have three choices [because I'm a solutions girl]

1. you move to the city your team are based in or commute there instead. Tracy if you are in Edinburgh and they are in Mumbai.
2. you change jobs so that when you are in the office you are working with your direct colleagues
3. you actively start to build a network in your office location of choice. Get involved in or set up social networking groups. There are usually lots around diversity, mentoring, supporting women, but occasionally office yoga and other more social avenues.

Is that you Nigel?

I've been doing it for 4 years and I love it, Im not sure how I would ever work in an office again and certainly wouldnt do it full time, Im quite antisocial though 😂- I know some collegues would like more in person interactions, but we are scatted all over the country so it would be very difficult to arrange.

WFH is undoubtedly convenient and efficient, its suitability depends on the type of work. Since I have an office job, my tasks are completely doable from home. However, I’ve noticed there are limits to knowledge sharing. Communication isn't as efficient as meeting in person, and it takes longer to build trust. Occasionally, it’s difficult to develop comfortable working relationships with colleagues you never see. The connections can feel superficial, and people don't engage with work issues as deeply as they would in an office setting.