To have ran upstairs in case I smelt of burger

[Whydoesitalwaysrainonmeeeee]

Just now

Treated myself to a Big tasty meal on the way home from work. Happily driving along in the dark and rain, listening to 90’s tunes 🤣
Dropped the bag evidence in the big bin round the corner from my house, getting soaked in the process, but all worth it.
Had to do the quick check of the car and car seat for any random bits-there was shredded lettuce-got rid.
Came in the house, coat off and Ddog smelling my hands, so I ran upstairs saying to Dh and Dd that I was tired 😂

In bed feeling satisfied, but wondering if I smell of burger

No lies are involved. At no point does the detective inspector say:

"You might as well come clean, Queenie. We have eyewitness accounts and plenty of footage. Did you or did you not eat a pork pie on the way home on the night of the 25th?"

Queenie: "I did not."

I don’t know, I just like having a dirty little secret 😂 nothing more to it than that

Pre-made pesto pasta, magically lives “abroad” when caught in a lie, didn’t get a drink even though it’s cheaper to get a meal.

sad as fuck

I’m sorry but having a special fried rice in secret once or twice a year does hardly make for an eating disorder.

And as I posted before, the “bigger” version is having a secret day off. I rarely do those now as annual leave is used for school hols but when I had 51 week nursery cover a secret day off now and then was a joy. It’s all part of the same thing, just being completely alone and not having to share the experience with anyone or talk about it. For me it has absolutely nothing to do with the food-I could have a chinese or McD any day of the week with the family but it’s an entirely different experience. If my ex had said “did you have a McD on the way home last night?” I would say yes. It’s not about lying, it’s about having something to yourself. Not the same thing at all.

Sharing absolutely everything all the time is very trying.

I guess we all live different lives and the stuff being posted is alien to many of us, a secret day off?

if I want a day off I have one. I would hate to be a relationship where there was an expectation I would have to do something during that day off or spend it with someone, we don’t do that to one another.

i would also feel upset if my life was reduced to eating pork pies in the car and lying about it, hiding the evidence as people are doing, or eating rice and lying about it as it I wouldn’t be permitted to do it alone.

and I think the concern is the folks who live like this can’t see it.

I guess I would understand if it was weight related, and there was some form of food shame, and not wanting to admit to eating unhealthy foods, so driven to do it alone and cover it up, or money was so tight that spending a few quid on food was something to be hidden,

but to get secret pleasure from sitting alone and eating shite. I am struggling with it. I’ve often eaten alone, and shite, and I’ve eaten shite in front of my family, I’ve never once felt the need to hide the wrappers, so no one knew what I’d eaten, nor have I ever felt the need to lie about a day off, if I wanted a chill day to myself I’d say so and get it,

I hear what you are saying but as I said previously I just don’t tick that way and I have twins. Not saying it is wrong at all just that my and many other here it seems don’t tick that way. Brains wired differently I think

I had plenty of non secret days off, non secret days off were absolutely the majority and I took them whenever I wanted. I didn’t need permission or approval. I don’t know how else to explain it, it had absolutely nothing to do with not being able to do the things non secretly, they are just different when they are. The sharing doesn’t mean physically sharing, it’s when it is secret you don’t mention it to anyone else-you don’t talk about it, you don’t have to say you don’t want to talk about it. It’s just yours. No-one knows where you are and it’s just different to saying “I’m off on Thursday for a bit of me time, won’t be contactable”.

If that has no appeal then that’s fine, we are all different. But having a few hours in a spa that no-one knows you have had is absolutely blissful.

Are you actually serious? Your life is lacking something. A great big something.

You are lacking a great big sense of humour.

I mean, fine if you don't find the joke funny, although it is. But it's quite clearly a joke. Did you really take it completely literally?

Do all those fellow secret 🍔 🍟 eaters. Hope you all have a good day. 😘

It’s not illegal to eat/ drink / smoke etc. whilst driving. You can be prosecuted for careless driving so obviously need to be careful.

Was it Halal, OP?

Treats are for pets and little children. Adults simply eat the food that they want to eat (and not in secret).

What 😂 Why is that relevant

Also my DH knows about my ‘secret’ pork pies and he finds it hilarious as I’m otherwise devoted to exercise and healthy food so it’s just one of my quirks that he finds endearing. Nothing controlling about it.

How is it secret, then?

Jakers You're obviously not a mummy who's always at the bottom of the pecking order. Some mummies put themselves last 99% of the time.

I remember once being totally overwhelmed by two boys and a husband one afternoon. I walked out drove to the cinema. Sat and watched a movie. Then bought a KFC, drove to the beach, watching the sun set as I ate my supper. The sound of the waves not squabbling kids bliss. When I got home, kids in bed, DH said not a word.

That is really not the same thing, @justasking111

It is because to this day I never said where I'd been.

Really. This is a light hearted thread. No need to take it so seriously.

This sounds lovely but a very different scenario from OP running upstairs to stop her husband suspecting she’s eaten a burger.

I think most of us can understand that it’s good to have a break and time on your own to do something you enjoy. It’s also clear that some people on the thread do come under pressure from others regarding what they eat (whether that’s pressure not to eat certain things or not to do so alone) and that must be horrible so it’s clear why you might want to avoid it.

What lots of us can’t understand is the people who want secrecy for its own sake - where doing something in secret is more enjoyable than doing it openly- even though there isn’t any sort of external pressure. It sounds like a disordered approach to food and maybe a release of internalised pressure not to eat a certain way (see also all the comments about food being forbidden, naughty, treaty treats etc) and in that context the celebratory stuff congratulating op on her secrecy comes across quite strangely, and likewise the suggestion that those of us who don’t get it are judging- it’s quite the opposite.

What I find interesting from this thread is that the people who don't "get it" berate those who do, disapprove of their behaviour and question whether the participants are victims of controlling behaviour from someone else. The people who do "get it" have no desire to control, berate or accuse anyone else, and are happy to live and let live. Irony?

They totally get the idea of an indulgent, slightly naughty but harmless secret; they're not actually stupid. They just feel superior because this one is around food, which to them is imbued with a moral value, which is why they pretend to be baffled, bemused, disturbed, so worried about controlling behaviour and all the rest of it. Although a few of them drop the mask and just outright accuse people of having terribly lacking and unfulfilling lives based on this one thing, which is...very funny, actually.

This kind of behaviour has honestly never occurred to me. It seems like a lot of effort for a payoff I'm struggling to really understand.

Also wouldn't the embarrassment (?) of being seen eating a burger be outweighed by the potential embarrassment of explaining to your family why you're sneaking around like a weirdo.

If I feel like eating a burger and it turns out to be delicious I'm far more likely to message DP about it without being prompted than to keep it secret. Similar with days off, if I took one and did something enjoyable with it, it would feel very odd to be like "oh, just a normal day at work!" to him.

Not actually true though- plenty of berating the other way on this thread!