Neighbour damaged his car on my drive

[lghtnght]

I moved into my new house 3 months ago and after a few weeks, I noticed that the neighbours across the street were reversing onto my property when they left their house. The road is pretty narrow, so they can't really turn around without reversing onto my drive. Plus, another neighbour parks his car (in blue) on the pavement by their house, which makes it harder for them to pull forward and turn around.

It would be much easier if they just reversed onto their own drive and drove out from there. I don't know why they haven't done that yet. I didn't want to start any drama or fall out with them. I had never talked to them before today and wasn't sure how they'd react if I brought it up, so last weekend I decided to put some garden rocks in the corner instead. Just to clarify, they're on my drive, not on the pavement, in case anyone wonders. So, the neighbour knocked on my door earlier and said that his car got damaged because of the rocks. He insists that they were half on the pavement (not true) and half on my drive.

He asked why I didn't tell him I was putting them there so he could avoid driving over them. He said if there was a problem, I should have just talked to him. I told him it's my drive, on my property. Why would I need to inform him? His car wouldn't have been damaged if he wasn't using my drive… He got really aggressive with me, saying that the previous owners never had any issues and that he's going to call the police and a solicitor about the damage to his car. I haven’t heard anything since. I can't believe I'm even writing this. I’m not sure what to do now! I do feel a bit intimidated by him. Am I being unreasonable?

Setting boundaries involves expressing one's wishes and preferences in an assertive manner. Not a passive aggressive one.
Hey Mr whomever, I've noticed you use my drive in order to successfully park your car. Whilst I appreciate that this may be easier for you, I'd rather you discontinued doing so as I'm concerned that my drive may incur damage over time. Or whatever.

Why should she have to face this aggressive, entitled git?

Who wants neighbours like him? I bet the other neighbours agreed with OP!

But, he acted aggressively in response to her passive aggression.

Genuinely, in the OP's position I would have had absolutely zero thought of telling my neighbour I'd put rocks on my drive. Not because I wished to damage his car or cause aggro but I would 100% assume he would see them. It just wouldn't occur to me that someone would be reversing in their car without paying enough attention so that this could happen. There would be nothing passive aggressive about it.

And for those suggesting the OP should have told the neighbour about the rocks in order to avoid such a problem rather than assuming he would drive like a normal person and see them, why couldn't the neighbour have been proactive himself? It seems to me he had three - or actually four - separate ways he could have handled this:

1. Reverse onto his drive so he could get out easily. Better way to do it anyway, even if he didn't have to trespass to get out otherwise.
2. Talk to the owner of the blue car and explain that they are curtailing his access.
3. Talk to OP and ask if she minded him using her drive.
4. Learn to fucking drive properly so he doesn't hit rocks or potentially small children and animals!

I just can't grasp that people are blaming the OP over all of the obvious listed above.

👏👏👏👏

I have no idea. Maybe he was just chancing his arm and wouldn't have minded being told 'no'. Maybe he would have been a total dick about it. But anyone with decent social skills would have found a way to size him up and work out how to keep him on side while still telling him no. And if he's an absolute wanker who wouldn't accept any way of being told no, that would be useful information too.

As it stands, OP has no way of knowing if he would have been decent about it or not, but she's made herself known as a shit neighbour. She could have had the desired outcome without any of that nonsense.

Not a person on gods good earth would use that terminology 😄

My friend decided to plant holly bushes at the bottom of her garden as the neighbour was ploughing it up by reversing over her grass. He just ploughed over the bushes. I should have told her how passive aggressive she was being,

She should be the one to point out not to drive on her property 🙈🙈.

The onus on HER..not the actual unreasonable twat being entitled and aggressive.

Didn’t you know @Allseeingallknowing, I'm just a terrible neighbour, a weak and nasty piece of work. That poor man, having to share his cul-de-sac with me. It’s completely my fault. I should have reversed his car for him, then drawn him a bath and made his dinner. I will go over and apologise immediately. He’s likely going to need some counselling after this.

Because they are neighbours. Because it's the right thing to do.

I'm astounded by the number of adults on this thread who seem to think that being decent is contingent on another person being decent to them first.

Wow. Or how about, I could have behaved like an adult instead of a child.

Hes probably doing the mumsnet trope and shaking and crying behind his sofa

Tinkly laugh

Your comment here is also passive aggressive! Maybe you need to work on your communication style.

This! I'm quite staggered by how many posters would clearly submit to their neighbour using their driveway whenever he felt like it, or would seek his permission to lay some rocks to stop him. Bonkers!

Actions speak louder than words.

I should think he’s made an enemy of OP too, and based on this thread I think he should be more worried than her.

Yep!!

There are so many people that struggle with “good” social skills due to various reasons. I think it’s a bit crass of you to judge the op here.

You may have handled it different, great! I don’t think you can entirely judge the op as a shit neighbour. It’s a bit of an over stretch seeing as you don’t know her or anything that she does for neighbours.

I have a garden which runs along the side of the house and leads into a lane behind the houses. Soon after I moved here I noticed that sometimes workpeople used my garden as a cut through into the lane. So I took to padlocking the side gate to prevent this. I also have cctv and quite enjoy watching when some entitled workman begins effing and blinding because they cant just walk through with some heavy equipment.. One even knocked my kitched door a while ago and yelled "Is there another way round?" Instead he had to take the public pathway. Oh deal what an inconvenience. The side gate gets unlocked when my own gardener attends, I dont expect him to trek around the public path when he is doing work for me. Randoms dont get to walk on my land uninvited. No doubt I am being passive aggressive by locking a gate on my own property.

The rocks appeared to work their magic. I’ll be okay.

That’s not very kind @Friendlygingercat

Did you at least make him a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie? 😉

Or you could take the constructive feedback you have been offered and think about how to improve the way that you communicate with others. You said in an earlier post that this is something you struggle with so it may be worth spending some time working on it.

It's reason enough if you're childish and petty. I can't understand having an issue with it. But then to be even more childish and not even have a conversation first? You have to live in this neighbourhood. Why are you burning bridges with your neighbours so early on?

Presumably he has a tongue in his head and could have asked the OP if she minded?

Huge irony as the passive aggression is literally hanging out of this post