Neighbour damaged his car on my drive

[lghtnght]

I moved into my new house 3 months ago and after a few weeks, I noticed that the neighbours across the street were reversing onto my property when they left their house. The road is pretty narrow, so they can't really turn around without reversing onto my drive. Plus, another neighbour parks his car (in blue) on the pavement by their house, which makes it harder for them to pull forward and turn around.

It would be much easier if they just reversed onto their own drive and drove out from there. I don't know why they haven't done that yet. I didn't want to start any drama or fall out with them. I had never talked to them before today and wasn't sure how they'd react if I brought it up, so last weekend I decided to put some garden rocks in the corner instead. Just to clarify, they're on my drive, not on the pavement, in case anyone wonders. So, the neighbour knocked on my door earlier and said that his car got damaged because of the rocks. He insists that they were half on the pavement (not true) and half on my drive.

He asked why I didn't tell him I was putting them there so he could avoid driving over them. He said if there was a problem, I should have just talked to him. I told him it's my drive, on my property. Why would I need to inform him? His car wouldn't have been damaged if he wasn't using my drive… He got really aggressive with me, saying that the previous owners never had any issues and that he's going to call the police and a solicitor about the damage to his car. I haven’t heard anything since. I can't believe I'm even writing this. I’m not sure what to do now! I do feel a bit intimidated by him. Am I being unreasonable?

We moved to a rented farmhouse years ago. Went into the kitchen one day and ndn was stood at the door.. Inside. Apparently the previous tenants didn't mind. Well we bloody did!! Also we locked the main farm gates. Didn't go down well but we didn't want to live like that. And we had 3 ddogs. Which of had gotten out would have been our heads on the block. Lots of sheep local.
Some people have no boundaries... And some are twats.. Op you can decide which is relevant to your issue. I can guess though...

Yes!
it was!

Both the OP and her neighbour were aggressive - one passive aggressive one just aggressive (because he’d damaged his car). Both were being unreasonable, in my opinion.

There was a poster on here a month or so ago who had a neighbour using part of her drive. She'd had the drive refinished and the part the neighbour was driving over was getting damaged by him. The universal opinion was the 1) There was no way she could be reimbursed by the neighbour because duh, it was her drive and 2) If she wanted him to stop using it, she should put some sort of barrier up.

You can't win @lghtnght.

See, no. Because the driveway doesn't belong to Jim, it belongs to op. Jim is obviously not the nicest bun in the box as he's decided OPs driveway is fair game for his unlimited use in and out, yet he can't give her a nod and a wee smile while putting his bins out.

Op has decided that rather than start aggro with unfriendly and entitled Jim, she will put some stonework in her own driveway to prevent any confrontations.

On HER own property. Jim needs specsavers if he cant spot a pile of rocks which could just as easily been a cat, dog, child or wandering sheep.

What’s unreasonable about not wanting people to trespass on your property?

That part is reasonable. How OP went about it was unreasonable. I've moved many times over the years and come to appreciate that diplomatic coexistence with ones neighbours tends to be of mutual benefit.

I read the thread.

Should he have asked rather than assumed? Yes.
Should he have been aggressive? Definitely not.

But I‘d still have spoken to him beforehand. Letting him know about my newly discovered urge to acquire a few rocks for my driveway wouldn’t feel particularly onerous. So why wouldn’t I?

No it would just need a sign saying that it's not a right of way and access is granted at the owners discretion.

When did you say No to your neighbour? Did you actually tell him you don't want him using your driveway?

No, she took the passive aggressive approach instead and experienced the consequences

The consequences seem to be that he has stopped using her drive.
And she knows what's he's like.

And I'm sure she feels quite smug and pleased with herself. However, she has now made an enemy which she may find causes her trouble in the future.

Well this has certainly given me pause for thought as our cull de sac is quite similar, though we all muddle along without having to encroach on each other's property.

I take my time to reverse in rather than just drive over some else.

I really must give thought to the stone water feature I was thinking of getting, lest im thought of the neighbour from hell😆

No wonder other sites take the piss, this place is fabulously camp at times.

Is he going to blow up my house 😳

I don’t feel smug either, just glad he’s not using the drive anymore. That’s it really

If you'd dropped your grey handbag on your drive, your NDN would have run it over. He should have realised this and hung his head in shame before giving you a hard time.

@Dollyparton3 give them food in a dish or on the ground, we had one years ago that used to wee in the fish after eating 🤢
poo was usually around somewhere

Unlikely. But it's possible he will find an opportunity to inconvenience you or cause you problems. Imagine, you could have created an ally but instead you created an enemy. And all because you were too weak to say 'no' to someone's face.

As I said... faaaaaabulously camp and OTT dahling😃

Hope big Jim winds his neck in and learns to reverse.....jobs a goodun

So let’s all live in fear shall we and never set boundaries for those overstepping the mark (or driveway).

Exactly this! 💯 OP has created enemy neighbour instead of ally - well done 👏 how nice for you and your neighborhood

Do you honestly believe this person would have responded normally to her request though? He literally had the audacity to threaten her with legal action when some rocks inconvenienced him. Imagine his response if she asked! Created an ally 😆 why would she want anything to do with that CF!

Ah well, my rocks still looks nice though!

I think most people agree that OP can set boundaries. But they thought a more diplomatic approach was better than being passive aggressive and causing damage to his car.

OP wasn't passive aggressive at all. There was a problem with neighbour using her property without permission. Putting some boulders out fixed the problem.

That's proactive.

It's his fault he backed up without checking what was behind him.