To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

[victoriaspomge]

So basically my partner wants his half brother's (same dad) younger half brother (same mum) to come and meet our baby.
He has a daughter who is 2 years old who he says is our kids cousin.

My partner is no relation to him or his daughter biologically but because they share a half brother he feels as if it's his brother as well and that they are family.

He dosent really know him and doesn't have his number and has only met him in the last 10 years.

They only hang out if it's with their mutual half brother.

I know the 'brother' is very anti vax and has not got his 2 year old vaccinated despite living in a city where it has had a lot of cases of measles.

Baby is too young to be have the MMR and I am extremely worried about my baby meeting this 2 year old.

AIBU to feel like this?

No you are not being unreasonable at all. Parents need to realise there are consequences to not getting their children vaccinated, and in this case it's not meeting the baby.

Absolutely not unreasonable.
A random kid who is known not to be vaccinated (when it sounds like you will opt for vaccinations) shouldn't be near your tiny baby. Your child will inevitably meet unvaccinated kids in the future naturally but will at least have some form of protection by then themselves.

Even if the child was vaccinated... I find this a rather strange scenario. Like your husband doesn't even talk this man.("half half brother guy"

Yes thank you.

Its all to please his biological half brother and I find it really strange myself.

I am really concerned as now the UK has just lost its measles elimination certificate.

I will be putting my foot down, but he makes me feel I am being to precious and over protective.

YABU to judge whether your partner considers this man to be his brother or not. Families are very different. Families are about the relationships you have with one another more than the lines on a family tree diagram.

However

YANBU to not want the child of people who have chosen not to vaccinate their child near your baby who is too young to have had the vaccine.
Yes, I am aware you could unknowingly be near someone you didn't know this about, but in this case you do so YANBU.

Seems a bit odd you know this about him though, as you are at pains to point out your partner doesn't really have a relationship with him.

Get him to google just how horrific measles can be.

You are unreasonable to define who counts as your partners family - that is for him to decide. Every family is different.

You’re not unreasonable to say they have to wait until your baby has been vaccinated.

I’m not going to comment on the family dynamics but there’s no way in hell when mine were babies would they be near unvaccinated children until mine had the vaccines. This is a hill I would happily die on.

Refuse to meet and say why. Anti-vaxxers need to face consequences. Social exclusion is a consequence of refusing to support herd immunity.

This is the most ridiculous thing I have read

The family relationship, whatever it is, is irrelevant. You just make yourself sound petty telling DH who he can consider 'family'.

You're not being unreasonable at all to refuse to let your baby round an unvaccinated toddler though. Related or unrelated.

Yanbu, but you sound very judgemental and superior, maybe leave all that out and stick to the vaccinated part. However you are setting a precedent which you should then stick too

There’s no way this toddler would be near my baby. Your partner can think whatever he wants about being overprotective. That’s literally your job. Once your baby is vaccinated, then they can meet. Not sooner, no matter what.
What’s the risk? Your babies life is the risk!

I’d confidently say “no” with a straight face and wouldn’t budge.
I’ve got absolutely zero time for anti-vaxxers anyway but when there’s a newborn involved?
Fuck no.

The rest is irrelevant.

I just explaining the dynamics and story, I mean I have never met this other brother and we have been together 10 years.

I have just heard about him from my partner and seen photos of him and his 2 year old on What's App.

It does really bother me and I feel as if my concerns are just brushed off.

Has your partner ever met this 2 year old?

Is this man technically his stepbrother (just came into eachothers lives in adulthood so they don't have much contact) or are their respective parents no longer together?

No absolutely not. Measles can and does kill
You don't even know these people and they are not related. Why are they so keen to meet yoir baby?
You need to put your foot down firmly with your DP!!

Yes my partner has met the 2 year old a few times and bought her a Xmas present.

So my partner has a younger brother who share the same dad.

This man is my partner's half brother's little brother who share the same mum.

So not really technically a step brother as their parents have never been in a relationship, their only connection is a mutual half brother and half sister.

They met each other for the first time about 10 years ago.

I wouldn’t. What if the kid has measles!

OK got ya on the family tree. I think it's quite nice they have somewhat of a relationship.

And I understand them wanting to introduce their respective kids. But absolutely not an unvaccinated child.

The 2yr old parents are going to have to get used to this kind of reaction

IMO You're being ridiculous.

If you're confident that vaccines work to protect your baby, then surely your baby wouldn't catch anything anyway? Being vaccinated doesn't stop people (or babies/toddlers/children) from spreading and passing viruses.

The toddler could still be breastfed for all you know and have amazing natural immunity!

The baby in question is too young for the vaccines so your post doesn’t make much sense.

The baby hasn't had the MMR yet, so the OP isn't being ridiculous.

So is OP intending to avoid all other babies and toddlers then?

Because this toddler certainly won't be the only unvaccinated child they come into contact with. And I'd say as long as the toddler isn't kissing the baby all over the mouth, it's not a risk to it anymore than any other relatives are?

You're being ridiculous. The whole point is that the baby is too young to be fully vaccinated, hence not wanting exposure to an older child who is old enough to be vaccinated but negligently has not been.

Look just because the toddler in unvaccinated doesn’t mean it can pass on a something he doesn’t have . So if the kid is heathy what’s the issue ? I’m assuming your baby will never go to play area or a play group or the supermarket or on holiday in a plane or similar?