To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

[victoriaspomge]

So basically my partner wants his half brother's (same dad) younger half brother (same mum) to come and meet our baby.
He has a daughter who is 2 years old who he says is our kids cousin.

My partner is no relation to him or his daughter biologically but because they share a half brother he feels as if it's his brother as well and that they are family.

He dosent really know him and doesn't have his number and has only met him in the last 10 years.

They only hang out if it's with their mutual half brother.

I know the 'brother' is very anti vax and has not got his 2 year old vaccinated despite living in a city where it has had a lot of cases of measles.

Baby is too young to be have the MMR and I am extremely worried about my baby meeting this 2 year old.

AIBU to feel like this?

It's likely the person had it prior to vaccination, your son already had it, or came into contact with this highly contagious virus in another way as the virus is contagious 4 days before symptoms show and 4 days after (possibly longer), and in the air or on surfaces from aspiration/sneezing/coughing for 2 hours (possibly longer).
Yes, a child not showing symptoms could have and spread measles or other viruses as can anyone.

Given YOU'VE not met the adults in years if the 2yo, why is your DH in such a rush for them to meet your baby?

it would be a no from me. Vaccinated or not tbh.

The OP's baby is still too young to be vaccinated.

The 2yo has not been vaccinated.

The 2 yo has likely been out and about, possibly even to nursery, and could be carrying the virus.

Breastfeeding is not a substitute for vaccination.

The OP's baby is vulnerable.

Go and educate yourself wrt vaccination and contagion.

How would anyone know she doesn't have it?

Measles is highly contagious from four days before the rash appears to four days after.

It can survive in the air for two hours, and is spread by contact with infected droplets (from sneezing, coughing) or by touching contaminated surfaces where droplets have landed, and transferring to the nose, eyes, or mouth. 90% of unvaccinated people who are exposed to measles will catch it.

Tell him measles kills children. People forget that. They think it's a little mild childhood bug, and true, some people get through it unscathed. Others do not. They can visit only after your DC has full immunity from vaccinations.

will be putting my foot down, but he makes me feel I am being to precious and over protective.

You're not at all, not even a bit You're being a responsible parent.

Pretty sure my aunt lost a lot of hearing due to measles.

show him this thread, you’re not in the wrong here. I would absolutely refuse this.

Yanbu.
It would be a no from me too.

My children are much older now but when they were babies I wouldn't have had a clue about the vaccination status of all the other children they met. Is it a new thing to be asking this? I'm really surprised you would know this about multiple children.

Are you in the UK? It wasn't even something that was asked about at nursery as I remember a conversation with an Australian friend who was surprised by that

You don't fuck about with measles. Very infectious and can be deadly.

Eh? You think that because it is impossible to avoid unknown dangers, people shouldn't bother keeping their newborns away from known dangers?
Really?

You can be formula fed and have great ‘natural immunity’ too. My 70 year old brother was a ‘Cow & Gate baby’ - he looks 20 years younger and has never ailed a day in his life.

Flu went through my kids' school and the unvaccinated children were all extremely unwell with many hospitalised. Over half my DS' class were off. My vaccinated children were fine.

This. Yanbu at all, obviously cannot know if any random you may meet is vaccinated but fair precaution to say those you know aren’t don’t come near the baby

You don't even understand what the vaccine sheds

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1386653224000581

It's not a live virus, it's the measles RNA. Not a live virus

Imagine if people from 100 years ago, who had watched children suffering and dying from measles learned that the disease became eradicated here due to modern vaccines, only to have a resurgence because of some refusing to actually take the bloody thing or give it to their children!
They'd be aghast at the sheer, jaw dropping stupidity.

Keep these morons away from your baby, OP.

You don’t know the vaccination status of every person you come into contact with, you just happen to know about this one.

I had the same issue except that the unvaccinated children were my partner’s nieces so very close family. I took advice from a number of doctors and midwives who were quite relaxed about it (which surprised me) and suggested that it should be fine as long as we make sure the unvaccinated children are well and no sniffles etc when they visit. I felt I had to allow it on that basis given the relationship. No way would I agree to such a distant person that I didn’t even know!

Have you heard the term "incubation period"? If not you should look it up.

Neither would I, but in this case the OP knows the toddler is unvaccinated. It's all about risk assessment, and she has assessed the risks and doesn't want to put her baby at risk. That's all.

It just means that the toddler will have to wait until after the baby has been vaccinated.

Also just to add, if there had been an outbreak in our area of the country at the time, I would have put my foot down regardless