To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

[victoriaspomge]

So basically my partner wants his half brother's (same dad) younger half brother (same mum) to come and meet our baby.
He has a daughter who is 2 years old who he says is our kids cousin.

My partner is no relation to him or his daughter biologically but because they share a half brother he feels as if it's his brother as well and that they are family.

He dosent really know him and doesn't have his number and has only met him in the last 10 years.

They only hang out if it's with their mutual half brother.

I know the 'brother' is very anti vax and has not got his 2 year old vaccinated despite living in a city where it has had a lot of cases of measles.

Baby is too young to be have the MMR and I am extremely worried about my baby meeting this 2 year old.

AIBU to feel like this?

Assuming you’re in the UK, are you going to keep your baby at home until they get their vaccine at 1 yr old? No park, no baby sensory, no play dates with other mums?

That was my point.
There's clearly an assumption that this toddler is THE SINGLE ONLY unvaccinated toddler in the UK.

YANBU
I am not precious about colds, dirt and similar stuff that other MN squark over.
But anti vax need to know their place. Far away from me.

Apologies, I'd missed the bit that the baby was still young. But I do still think keeping them away from a relative seems OTT.

No way. Measles can kill a baby.

Tell me that you're lucky enough never to have met a child dying of the complications of measles without saying you've never met a child dying of the complications of measles. I have, and it was heartbreaking.

We're not assuming that at all.

Clearly, you won't be able to avoid all contact with other children, in passing, but the OP would be very wise to avoid spending time with someone they know has actively decided not to have their child vaccinated.
Statistically it is more likely that a 2 year old has been mixing with more children, than other small babies.
There is nothing to be gained in spending time with this child, but the decision the parents have chosen to take is something that is putting so many people at risk so I personally wouldn't choose to spend time with people like that anyway - in the same way I wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with racists or misogynists, or homophobes. Our views on important issues would just be too far apart.

Yanbu keep your precious baby away from them and tell them why.

@nocoolnamesleft- I'm really sorry to read this, that is absolutely heartbreaking.

@JustGiveMeReason- Well said, I completely agree.

I’m pretty chilled but I wouldn’t knowingly want an unvaccinated child near my young baby. The risk of measles in the uk is going up. I’d say they can meet after baby has mmr vaccine.

That’s not the same. You potentially expose your dc to vomiting bugs daily, would you go to the house to visit someone with norovirus? I think most of us would avoid even without a baby. The toddler is a super spreader due to age plus unvaccinated status and the fact op is aware means she’s making an informed decision so not like your post examples.

If the toddler is well and healthy, what exactly is it a "super spreader" of?

YANBU
stay away and protect your own baby !

yep My oldest vaccinated caught measles from a just vaccinated cousin a few years ago . I don’t think people realise how much the mmr sheds

I get where you're coming from...
your partner seems to be making it important your baby meet someone you've never met/heard about that he is now referring to as family. And they're anti vaxx.

All toddlers are known as “super spreaders” - that’s the reason they’re vaccinated against flu - reduces the risk of killing grandma. They have germs and are more risk than an 8 year old. That’s just what they’re known as in my nhs world of infection prevention and control.

It doesn't matter what the relationship is, you would be stupid to expose your too-young-to-be vaccinated baby to an unvaccinated toddler, whoever they are.

Other posters are missing the point when they say that you could come into contact with an unvaccinated child anywhere. Obviously, this is possible because some kids are not able to have the vaccination and others have negligent parents who don't get them vaccinated, but why would you knowingly put your baby in contact with a child that is potentially a risk?

I don't think it should be an issue to be straight with the "brother" and explain that you don't want his unvaccinated child near your baby. However, your much bigger problem is that your DH seemingly doesn't seem to care.

No, you cannot catch measles from someone just vaccinated.

"Live" virus, is an attenuated (weakened) version specifically designed to be non-transmissible.

Key Facts About Vaccination and Transmission

• Non-Contagious: The weakened vaccine virus cannot be spread from person to person.
• Shedding vs. Infection: Some people "shed" tiny amounts of the vaccine virus in their urine or throat after getting the shot, but these particles are too weak to cause illness in others.

Any wonder Covid became pandemic, then... all the asymptomatic unmasked super-spreadin'' toddlers. 🤦‍♀️
In all seriousness, a friend and I said exactly that just a couple months into lockdown. 🤔

Yes but you try getting a mask on a toddler… it’s the sticky fingers too. They’re gross (but really cute too)

My son caught measles from a child just vaccinated , it was traced back by the doctor and confirmed . You should I also know that just vaccinated people should not be around those immune compromised as my son . My ex is a microbiologist too , works for Roche used to love discussing all this . You are extremely wrong in your assumption. Do you know who cannot pass measles ? People who don’t have it . This whole fear mongering nonsense is just that ! Ridiculous . This 2 year old cannot spread what she doesn’t have .

No blame! We only knew what we knew then.

"Just vaccinated" people generally do not need to stay away from immunocompromised individuals, as most modern vaccines do not cause the transmission of the vaccine strain to others
. However, there are specific, limited exceptions regarding "live" vaccines where caution is warranted.

When to Use Caution (Live Vaccines)
If a person has recently received a live attenuated vaccine, there is a rare, theoretical risk of shedding the virus, which could affect someone with a severely weakened immune system.

• Varicella (Chickenpox) or Zoster (Shingles) Vaccines: If the person who was vaccinated develops a rash, they should avoid close, direct contact with immunocompromised individuals until the rash is dry and crusted.
• Rotavirus Vaccine (Infants): Family members should wash their hands thoroughly after changing the diaper of an infant who received the rotavirus vaccine, as the virus can be shed in stool for up to a month.
• Oral Polio Vaccine: While rarely used in the US/UK, this can be transmitted

When It Is Generally Safe (Common Vaccines)

• COVID-19, Flu, Tdap, Hepatitis, etc.: These are not live vaccines and cannot cause infection in either the recipient or an immunocompromised person.
• General Safety: Vaccinating close contacts of vulnerable people is encouraged because it reduces the risk of the vaccinated person bringing "wild-type" (natural) infections into the home

Key Takeaways for Immunocompromised Individuals

• No isolation needed: You do not need to isolate from family members or friends who have just been vaccinated.
• Wait for the rash: If a household member gets a chickenpox or shingles vaccine and develops a rash, avoid direct contact until it heals.
• Ask your doctor: If you are severely immunocompromised (e.g., in the middle of chemotherapy or immediately post-transplant), it is always best to consult your specialist for specific, personal advice.

Thank you to those sharing more info on measles and vaccines etc.

My partner also has 2 friends whose 1 year old's haven't been vaccinated either, and the kids have been abroad, go soft play, go everywhere basically in the same city, he thinks "Oh their kids are OK, stop worrying" which I think is a totally irresponsible attitude for him to have.

@Icanneverthinkofaname -Hi, where did you read that the outbreak was mainly in vaccinated patients?