Do people just not ring each other any more, is this normal?

[Gurolou]

All my friends want to text or WhatsApp, it seems to be a thing, I hate it. We are all in our forties and fifties so texting wasn't even a thing for most of our lives. Is this really the same for everyone and just how things are? Because I actually hate texts and WhatsApp it just feels like stuff piling on top of me, and I miss talking to people.

OP do you not get to see much of your friends and family?

Nope

I LOVE human contact. Actual, face to face human contact.

Put your phone on silent then you won't know when it pings. I haven't had mine off silent in more than 10 years. Oh and I'm self employed too and don't miss anything

Maybe you should get into voice notes. Phone calls are fine every now and again but are too much of a commitment for people.

That is actually insane.

I’m mid 30s and the last time I called friends spontaneously for a chat was when I was a teenager in the 00s. It’s just not the done thing anymore, it’s considered rude and intrusive, and a bit weird.
That doesn’t mean people don’t talk, it’s just done in a different way. With local friends, we have WhatsApp or Facebook group chats where we make plans, talk about random stuff and share random photos. I have several of these groups for different friendship groups and communicate this way on them most days. We also meet up in person regularly. I can’t imagine randomly calling any of these people for a chat, that would be really weird, even though we’re quite close.
Then I have friends who now live far away, I also WhatsApp with them individually and every now and then we’ll have a pre-arranged video call.
The only person I video call spontaneously is my mum and the only people I make actual phone calls to are my husband if I need to tell or ask him something time-sensitive, and my elderly aunt who doesn’t use video call or messaging apps. Or companies through their call centres.
I’m not sure why you’re so surprised, talking on the phone hasn’t really been a thing for many years.
You’re also railing against people messaging and being on Mumsnet, while writing out messages on Mumsnet yourself, which is odd.

But why? "Hate" is a pretty strong word. Can anybody explain to me why speaking on the phone is so frightfully traumatic for you young'uns?

actually people talk a lot on phones, on the train, on the bus, in the street… my postman has a constant conversation going, so does the man working in the petrol station.
i think it’s just mumsnet has a thing about it.

The good thing about WhatsApp is we can have group chats where we’re interacting with several people at the same time. That wouldn’t happen with a phone call

And we can make plans as a group then have our chats when we get together in person.

Im not getting why anyone sees that as sad.

Not enjoying something and finding it traumatic are nothing g like the sane thing - I’m a not so young 60 and very rarely speak on the phone.

Exactly!

I chat on the phone regularly to friends, although these are usually prearranged by a quick text. I'm early 40's, spent my teenage years nattering on the phone to friends and never got out of the habit I supposw.

Yep. No need for phone calls, save the conversation for face to face.

It’s not traumatic. And I’m not young btw, I’m 45. It’s just insanely tedious. I have lots of things I want to do if I have time to do it - housework, reading, watching things I want to watch on tv, decorating or whatever else. I don’t want to spend hours or even half an hour chatting on the phone at a time that is decided by the person who calls me, in what could be answered in messages whilst I’m doing something else. Phone calls take up more concentration, I can’t multi task when having them properly and they annoy me. That’s it.

I phone my young adult DC and my sister, no longer phone friends apart from occasional video chats with 2 long distant friends
But i do miss a proper natters on the phone!!
I uses to have really long phone conversations with my friends as a teen.
I dont think texting is at all the same. It is quicker but not the same connection.

I do both talk on the phone and use Whatsapp. I don't like voice notes.

Traumatic? Lol

Im an 'old un' and I said upthread I hate it. I cant hear that well so I hate them

Also I recognise what others are saying that its fine when chatting to someone face to face, the conversation is more instinctive and spontaneous and natural but on the phone you're on the spot to some degree.

Its fine at work, I much rather phone someone but not at home.

My mum and DH are pretty much the only ones I would have a telephone conversation with.
nearly 57

I haven't really spoken to any of my friends on the phone in ages, now that I think of it. I'm late 40s and it's always Whatsapp.

I did have an hour long conversation with my brother last night but he lives in another country. I also speak to my Dad and Aunt regularly.

Exactly this.

I always hated phone calls, so relieved to not have to make them any more. I don’t miss anything about them whatsoever!!

I see my friends and family in person, but I don’t want to talk to them on the phone. I’m 48.

I hate voice notes. So annoying. Can't glance at them and decide if urgent, forget what was said and have to relisten
People gas on for ages so have to listen to bullshit.
The only ones I let off are my dyslexic friends.

I hate the phone. My call log is things like phoning for a repeat prescription, booking the cat’s jabs at the vet and so on. The only person who ever rings me is my hairdresser - he owns the salon and I look after their social media as a side hustle. (He’s dyslexic and prefers to talk on the phone rather than type out messages.)