Do people just not ring each other any more, is this normal?

[Gurolou]

All my friends want to text or WhatsApp, it seems to be a thing, I hate it. We are all in our forties and fifties so texting wasn't even a thing for most of our lives. Is this really the same for everyone and just how things are? Because I actually hate texts and WhatsApp it just feels like stuff piling on top of me, and I miss talking to people.

I have one single solitary friend who still calls me spontaneously. I call her too. Sometimes we chat for 15 minutes, sometimes longer. I really love it. I wish more people would do it. I don't live in the same country as many of my friends so I do need to actually call to stay properly in touch. Some of them still pick up the phone if I call spontaneously but no one ever calls me. I don't find it an intrusion or inconvenience. If it's not a good time you can just not pick up the phone, or you can answer it, say hello and explain why now isn't good. I desperately miss the ringing phone of my youth. Sometimes I just feel like a chat with someone but you can't do it nowadays and it makes me feel lonely.

I hardly ever call anyone. My Grandmother used to drive me mad asking me to call her. I tried to explain that it's not personal, i can go weeks without speaking to my own Mum, but the 'i never call anyone' excuse didn't wash because she thought she was special and my brother called her every week religiously. I have never been very good with phones and texting was a godsend to me. My whole family is on WhatsApp now. Even Grandma had it for the last couple of years of her life though despite my lessons she never learned how to use it.

Those men are shaping how we communicate with each other and normalising asocial behaviour.

But if the majority of people actively prefer those methods of communication, then where’s the issue? I can still choose to telephone people, but I don’t, because I prefer not to.

Even Grandma had it for the last couple of years of her life though despite my lessons she never learned how to use it.

What a shame that she missed out on family connection during her final years. I wonder if her family could have done something about that.

Do they actively prefer them or is it just the new shiny default? Don't underestimate how much tech fucks with your head. It's designed to do so.

I loathe voice notes! A colleague, who is dyslexic, uses them (I forgive her, as I know texting is tough) and my sister, who I don’t forgive - you can hear her pottering in the background during her monologue. You also have to make sure you can listen without eavesdroppers (I’m guessing air pods might help with this, but I don’t use them).

I actively prefer it.

I actively prefer it.

I'm with you there.

Fucking hate speaking on the phone. That’s all.

Why?

You claimed they dont speak to anyone becuase of anxiety

Im saying I know the type of men, geeky anti social types, you're portraying and Im saying they do speak to people, they have no anxiety becuase they have no self awareness and just bleat on forever. It wasnt the example to use of why people dont speak on phones.

Me! I call people! We may text to schedule the call at a convenient time but I bloody love a chat on the phone with my mates. They seems to enjoy them too. Best friend and I speak weekly, others monthly or so. And I call my dad every day.

Love a chat on the phone for sorting one’s soul.

I had to google onanism, as have never come across it before, but…snort. And yes.

This is mumsnet where everyone locks themselves into their houses and hide when the doorbell rings. Of course nobody actually talks on the phone.

I do too. I’m 60 and always hated talking on phone. WhatsApp is a game changing invention for many of us and it’s not exactly new is it?

I love talking on the phone, and that’s how I communicate with my close friends.

I have a feeling that If texting had been around forever and actual voice conversations had only become possible with the advent of the smartphone, everyone would be enthralled by the possibility of actually talking to other people.

Messages sent to people is not a new shiny default, its been around since people could write. Wax tablets being sent from Rome to the British barbarians, runes on stones, the Egyptian things that I cant spell

Speaking on a phone is the anomaly.

I see my friends all the time! Went for lunch with 4 of them yesterday. Went out for a drink with another on Friday night. In between that I don’t speak to them on the phone, we WhatsApp. It’s absolutely not because I’m unsociable, I just prefer to talk to them face to face 🤷🏻‍♀️

Me too plus you can answer texts any time. There's nothing worse than somebody phoning for a good chat when you're busy then they get offended if you ask them to call back later.

I ring my sister and my mum. Sometimes my husband if we’re apart, I don’t talk to other people on the phone. Hate it in fact.

Erm, dont you know thats sort of the history of communication anyway!!!

Letters, then telegrams, then phones. Its all been done before!!!

The smartphone is not the only phone