Do people just not ring each other any more, is this normal?

[Gurolou]

All my friends want to text or WhatsApp, it seems to be a thing, I hate it. We are all in our forties and fifties so texting wasn't even a thing for most of our lives. Is this really the same for everyone and just how things are? Because I actually hate texts and WhatsApp it just feels like stuff piling on top of me, and I miss talking to people.

If you are 50 messaging has been around for more than half your life.

I can't stand phone calls as they feel intrusive now. Messages can be answered at the convenience of the recipient unlike a call which is at the convenience of the caller often without consideration of the recipient.

In fact, I rarely answer my phone at the time of a call.

I can’t multitask. If I’m talking on the phone I have to stop what I’m doing, or else stop talking. It feels frustrating just sitting there. I’d rather meet up and chat in person.

if I’m arranging something it’s much more efficient to message - people have time to think about their response.

i do talk to family members on the phone though. And I have friends who like talking on the phone, balancing it somewhere as they got on with other things.

Your poor friend.

100% agree with this. If there’s something urgent you need sorted, call. Messaging is such a pita when there’s an answer needed.

actually thinking about it, its a reversion to the early days of telephones when they were only for the wealthy and the butler would see if the person was available to take a call or would write the message down and deliver it to the recipient on a silver tray......

That's very well put. 😊

I am 45 and the thought of having to chat with someone on the phone makes my blood run cold. No thanks. Much prefer a text or written message that I can read and answer as and when I want to. I had one friend who kept sending me voice notes and I hate those too. I would just text a reply. Eventually she realised I hate voice messages and stopped doing it.

Love a phone chat. I chat when I’m driving, through Apple car play not using phone, when I’m walking the dog, when I’m pottering. I can’t imagine not talking to my friends. Speak on the phone daily to my sister, at least twice a week to my close friends and as and when to anyone else. My kids phone me too. They WhatsApp but if they want a chat they call and I speak to DD most days on the phone

It's really sad but I'm just being honest. Like I said, I don't know how she doesn't feel the same as me - that the conversations are just really awkward now as our friendship has sadly dwindled since she moved away...we just haven't enough to talk about. Messages flow far more easily and I can find things to add which means no awkward silences.

In work mode, it is far better to dial someone who will be able to solve the problem you are calling about direct. They will answer, you state your issue and they say do this/that/kick here/ or we can be down in x time. Talking is the quickest start to a workable solution. Business wastes hundreds of hours as everyone composes email messages.

I think the complete opposite. It’s so much easier to message someone and they can reply when they’re ready.

Make plans by message, talk in person is by far the most efficient way imo but it’s horses for courses

Nope, none of those things.

I heard on the news last year or so that younger generations never call each other, esp out the blue. Considered really rude, will not answer and many don't have the mental health to answer a phone like that either.
And that trainee journalists, the thought of cold calling someone or knocking on their door to chase a story was a real sticking point. Journalism college were offering confidence classes to overcome this.

We're losing the art of speaking!

In person = human connection with all the body language, eye contact, etc.

Writing - time to be considered in your responses.

The phone has neither of those things and suffers for it imo.

I’m mid 40’s, I’ve spent half my career in a call centre plugged into a headset the other half on conference calls I spend about 6 hours a day on teams calls, I don’t want to talk on the phone after that. Some local takeaways don’t do online ordering, if I’m all phoned out I’ll choose one that does. I’ll happily talk on the phone to a friend if they need me but it’s rare

I really miss people just randomly phoning

But we're living in a technological revolution. Human behaviour hasn't spontaneously evolved to this point - it's been driven by tech systems. Tech systems designed by poorly socialised men who can't talk to people because it "gives them anxiety".

Totally agree

They're only quicker and easier for the sender. They're a pain in the arse for the receiver. It takes a lot longer to listen to a message than to read one

I was about to write that I think part of the reason I dislike social calls is because it makes me think of work! That said, internally I would always leave my desk to go and speak to people if I could and this has resulted in a better relationship than most with a colleague who is known to be tricky.

this for me too. I text chat with my sibling every day....I will send her a pic then and there of how my garden is doing, a link to the Seasalt jumper I am thinking of buying, she will see something in a shop and message me with a pic asking if I want it.....best one EVER was when she messaged me from Macy's NY because I had been looking for a winter cloche style hat and she had found one in their sale. She was on a group tour at the time and they would meet up and chat and show their purchases at the end of the day and the rest of the tour thought she was crazy because she had messaged me from the middle of Macys. PS I am early 70'd and she is older.

I think you'll find that those type of men do absolutely talk to people, talk AT people, they have no boundaries or embarrassment at wittering on for ages, boring people to death. Not sure that is the right example to give

I like messages and talking to people in person.

I also would absolutely hate as per above someone talking to me while driving, pottering around, walking the dog. I dont want to hear a load of external noise or inevetable interruptions, I think thats really rude.

This. It actually feels like a really selfish thing to do to me to send a voice note. It takes up so much time to listen to all the rambling on. I could read a text in half the time.

Voice notes are digital onanism.

They’re a pain in the arse. I speed them up to 1.5x, but they’re still a pain.