To think a meal should not be part of a Birthday Present?

[zaktha]

I recently turned 60. I like material gifts not experiences and my family know this.

For my 60th birthday present, DH got me a pair of earrings (c£200) and is paying for a slap up meal with him, me, and our adult dc (c£300).

AIBU to think the meal isn’t really a gift to me?

I understand that you could see it more as a gift to the family rather than to you personally since they will all benefit, but it is in your honour. Also … £200
earrings.

Yeah. So tedious.

Or they come back and do one feeble 2nd post, or maybe manage a few that just endlessly repeat the same reply. All crap, all fake. One day this place will just be AI talking to itself with the giddy assistance of a couple of those posters who seem cerebrally glued to quoting what ChatGP told them.

Half a grand and you’re still not happy. I mean…sheesh! 😂

I’m guessing:

• OP’s DH expects a lot more to be spent solely on him when it’s his birthday
• OP’s adult dc make little effort for her birthday but expect effort from her

Only OP can confirm.

The present is the difference between the cost of Pizza Hut and the place you're actually going to.

You are being extraordinarily unreasonable!

£200 "won't buy anything special"?? Are you for real? That's a really sad, materialistic outlook. It's the thought that goes into a present that makes it special, not the amount of money that is spent on it.

200£ earrings sounds like the worlds most boring present to me ! I’d rather the meal or a day out tbh

Massively unreasonable, ungrateful and entitled.

Your gift was a £200 pair of earrings.

The meal was a lovely gesture to have your family together.

I suspect that thia is a reverse but if not, grow up

Oh behave
This isn't real
You're 60 not 6

What exactly were you expecting?
The earrings sounds extravagant and a very special thought, as does the special arrangement of a meal out. Both something to hold onto as a memory and materialistic.
When I reached that golden age, I’m knew damn well no one was going to do anything about it, so I had to treat myself to a pair of earrings and I booked a trip away, with hubby carrying the suitcases begrudgingly.
Best birthday.

£200 pair of earrings is a lovely generous gift. The meal is obviously somewhere expensive and that's a real treat, and a fabulous memory. You could all pay for yourselves and your DC probably wouldn't come as that's a lot of money and then your husband would give you an additional gift but surely wear your super earrings and enjoy your fabulous meal with your loved ones, or sit at home and look at the earrings and the other gift he would give instead and wonder why you need this stuff when you never go anywhere. You can't take it with you, in the end the love you give to family and special people and the wonderful memories you have are all that matters. Oh and wear the earrings every day, no point leaving stuff for best. I wear the super earrings I had for my 18th birthday still over 30 years later. Live every day as a special day and be grateful.

I feel you are getting a hard time on here OP. Perhaps you should have left out the price of the earrings. I am assuming it was to compare how much he was spending on the meal.

Do you actually like going out to eat? Are you a person who sees food as fuel rather than enjoying 'a slap up meal'. I have s friend who is a nightmare to go eat out with - it has to be plain, no spices herbs or sauces. Nothing foreign. Very fussy. Eats like a toddler. She does enjoy the cinema, a show or comedy night. A 'slap up meal' would be her worst gift.

You sound like my MIL. We'd arranged to go for a birthday meal for MIL, with FIL (of course) at a beautiful place. She threw a strop, as it wasn't her husband's birthday, but he would be benefitting from hers. Words failed me. I cancelled the meal as she was behaving like a spoilt brat. Your husband sounds extremely thoughtful.

To be fair to the OP she states that she likes material gifts and that her family knows this. Most posters find this weird but OP is entitled to her preference. So I suppose the answer to the question is whether £200 is a lot/generous in their family for a 60th birthday or not. If it is, and the meal is just a lovely treat so that the family can celebrate then OP is BU. If a gift usually would be around £500 and so the material aspect for OP is less that 1/2 that amount, then given her preferences she is NBU.

I’m with the majority that the lovely meal with my family would mean far more to me than earrings but as I say this doesn’t mean the OP is unreasonable, she also didn’t say she didn’t enjoy the meal or didn’t want to spend time with her family, just that she didn’t think the cost should count towards her gift.

What was your husband’s response?

You're very lucky, on my birthday, I received no gift from my husband, I never have. But I did have the privilege of paying his hospital parking fine.

This Op isn’t “lucky”

No way.

Read in to that what you will!

The OP's catching a lot of flak but I do sort of get what she means. I generally find eating out really boring so it wouldn't seem like much of a present to me either - lots of people going on about the 'wonderful memories' that flow from this sort of thing, but I've been out for loads of such meals and struggle to remember any of them. I've seen it said very often on MN that husbands are supposed to have an almost telepathic understanding on their wives' wants and needs, so if after (presumably) a long marriage the husband in this case has got a present that the OP doesn't actually want...I can't blame the OP for being a bit miffed.

To be clear - I very much would like to spend time with family for my birthday, but to me a fancy meal out would be the opposite of a present and a waste of money. Plus the OP does seem rather mercenary about it; it seems odd to me that she knows what all this is costing anyway, and if she is saying that she should have the £300 instead then yeah, that's the behaviour of a 6 year old.

You are being very unreasonable and ungrateful.

You sound very very ungrateful. £200 earrings and you're still not grateful?

YABU to expect more than expensive earrings TBH. At 50, most of us start to wind down on the material wants, so £200 on earrings is a lovely present in itself.

Do you regularly go out for meals and is that why you're not that keen?
I'd be delighted with it personally!

Not so much the earrings. £200 😲

Thats awful!

He bought you a pair of earrings for £200! Stop being so ungrateful.