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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a meal should not be part of a Birthday Present?

195 replies

zaktha · 08/02/2026 07:10

I recently turned 60. I like material gifts not experiences and my family know this.

For my 60th birthday present, DH got me a pair of earrings (c£200) and is paying for a slap up meal with him, me, and our adult dc (c£300).

AIBU to think the meal isn’t really a gift to me?

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 08/02/2026 07:32

£500 for a present and celebration and you're complaining?

Get some perspective.

Gambino1726 · 08/02/2026 07:33

WTF did I just read? What a shitty post - I meal for £300 for your birthday is to celebrate YOU. Please explain why you think it’s not?

Womaninhouse17 · 08/02/2026 07:34

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 07:26

It’s better than a card with a tenner in it.

Maybe not to the OP because at least she can swap it for something material and it's not one of those boring 'experiences'.

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 07:34

Neveranynamesleft · 08/02/2026 07:28

What's wrong with a card with a tenner in it ??

everyone loves a tenner in a card. Even better if the card has Polar Bears with sunglasses on the front.

Jenkibubble · 08/02/2026 07:35

zaktha · 08/02/2026 07:10

I recently turned 60. I like material gifts not experiences and my family know this.

For my 60th birthday present, DH got me a pair of earrings (c£200) and is paying for a slap up meal with him, me, and our adult dc (c£300).

AIBU to think the meal isn’t really a gift to me?

A friend turns 60 in March and Im taking her for afternoon tea

Hope she’s more grateful than you are !

CactusSwoonedEnding · 08/02/2026 07:36

£200 earings are an excellent present.
The meal is also a nice thing. It not being a "present" doesn't make it less nice.

Terfedout · 08/02/2026 07:37

zaktha · 08/02/2026 07:10

I recently turned 60. I like material gifts not experiences and my family know this.

For my 60th birthday present, DH got me a pair of earrings (c£200) and is paying for a slap up meal with him, me, and our adult dc (c£300).

AIBU to think the meal isn’t really a gift to me?

🤣🤣 okay then!

Applecup · 08/02/2026 07:37

I can’t think of anything that would please me more than a meal with my lovely family. You are being very unreasonable.

fouroclockrock · 08/02/2026 07:38

Ask him to cancel the food and just give you the expensive earrings then. Un.grate.ful.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 08/02/2026 07:38

I’m sure if he spent 500 on a gift and no birthday dinner you’d be back here whinging too!!! I get you like material presents but can you really imagine not having a dinner with your family?

RampantIvy · 08/02/2026 07:38

You sound ungrateful and hard work.

One of my friends turned 60 recently and my present to her is a 5 course tasting menu lunch at a Michelin recommended restaurant.

She doesn't want or need any more "stuff".

fouroclockrock · 08/02/2026 07:38

Ask him to cancel the food and just give you the expensive earrings then. Un.grate.ful.

Busybeemumm · 08/02/2026 07:39

I would rather have a meal with my family than any gifts. Memories are priceless.

SardinesOnButteredToast · 08/02/2026 07:39

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 07:34

everyone loves a tenner in a card. Even better if the card has Polar Bears with sunglasses on the front.

Show quote history

Yes, bonus points for the sunglasses deffo GrinGrin

RichPetuniaAgain · 08/02/2026 07:40

Definitely the meal is part of your birthday gift and celebration. Your husband is marking the occasion with something he probably sees as sentimental and loving. Be gracious and grateful and have a lovely time with your family.

Overtheatlantic · 08/02/2026 07:40

What’s a slap up meal?

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 08/02/2026 07:41

God what a total bastard, making the effort for your DC and him to have a nice evening out with you to celebrate your birthday

What kind of prick wants to make important memories, when instead he could get you a handbag

Iocanepowder · 08/02/2026 07:41

Out of curiosity, what else did you want instead of a meal?

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/02/2026 07:44

Overtheatlantic · 08/02/2026 07:40

What’s a slap up meal?

A meal with a fight at the end.

Flatandhappy · 08/02/2026 07:44

My 60th present was basically a four day trip to Melbourne (we live in Sydney) for DH and I and two of our adult children (the other couldn’t come). We had great meals out and theatre tickets and it was all experiences over stuff. If I want stuff I buy it, what would you have preferred?

Pigeon31 · 08/02/2026 07:46

Tell him you'd rather go out for pizza and he can spend the money he saved on getting you another pair of earrings instead.

JerryJacksonitsroughoutthereNsoul · 08/02/2026 07:46

Overtheatlantic · 08/02/2026 07:40

What’s a slap up meal?

A posh meal..The Broons of the Broons annuals were always going for 'slap up meals'if Pa or Grandpa came into money
Circa 70s Scotland.

GalaxyJam · 08/02/2026 07:47

You got a material gift… the earrings.
In terms of the meal, if you don’t see it as a gift then would you rather have paid for everyone yourself? Or just not had the meal?

moleeye · 08/02/2026 07:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/02/2026 07:47

You remind me of an ex colleague of mine who’d always complain about gifts her husband bought her, one year it was a Mulberry messenger bag the other it was a diamond tennis bracelet. She wasn’t happy with either of those. Thought they should have been more. He only worked as a bus driver!

YABVU op.