Explain to me why you offence is caused by saying things like 'mildly autistic' etc.

[Purpleturtle45]

If ASD is a spectrum why do people commonly disagree that you can be mildly autistic or severely autistic etc.

My daughter is diagnosed with ASD, however you wouldn't really know unless you knew her well. She goes to mainstream school and copes well with everyday life most of the time so to me I would say she is mildly autistic but I often see people getting ripped to shreds on here for using that term.

Genuinely wondering how 'spectrum' can literally be in the title of the condition but people disagree there can be different severities.

My daughter is diagnosed with ASD, however you wouldn't really know unless you knew her well.

So what led you to needing a formal diagnosis of ASD for your DD, if as you say you wouldn't really know it. And didn't you learn during that process about autism being a range of behavioural markers which the person is tested against to determine the extent of their autistic condition. You can score highly in one behavioural trait but low in others, which gives a big picture about the extent and impact of autism in the persons life.

offence is caused if you minimise someone else's life experience by making a judgemental comment about where you think they are on the spectrum.

presumably you know the difference between stating your own DD has had a diagnosis of mild autism, compared with minimising someone else's life by saying " you're only mildly autistic".

Because people often say "less autistic" to mean "masks better" or "their autism doesn't present in a way that inconveniences me".

So if the single goal of autistic people is to fit in quietly in a neurotypical world.

Do you consider your son to have autism and learning disability or do you think that it’s autism alone that impacts his experience so significantly that he struggles to learn?

When developmental delay is attributed to learning disabilities as well as autism, the binary of autistic/not autistic works. If developmental delay is understood as being caused by autism alone, the idea of ‘severe’ to ‘mild’ appears to work better.

Those without learning disabilities and who can attain at school at expected levels can be significantly impaired by their autism. Some require highly adapted environments in order to access learning.

Incorrect. It’s not black and white. It isn’t understood well enough to be able to say that. It’s constantly evolving science.

That’s absolutely not how it comes across though.

OP is getting a bit of a hard time here from some posters so I just wanted to provide another perspective.

My dd also has what I describe as 'mild' autism because she is able to function in society without adjustments. I have not pursued a diagnosis for myself but am confident I'm the same. Yet I've a very successful career in the NHS - so clearly am not severely affected.

However - when dd was young, I took her to support groups and I was completely shunned by the other parents who said I was rubbling their nose in it as my dd wasn't as severely affected as their DC and one told me she wouldn't be going to the group if she had a DC coping like mine. Yet dd was also shunned at mainstream groups due to her inflexible behaviours.

So you know what? None of us can win.

Let's stop bashing each other with a stick.

It was a simple question.

As I said earlier, my post was misinterpreted.

If your nephew wants to describe his own autism as mild that’s fine - what’s not fine is to then describe someone else in the same way just because they present similarly to your nephew.

Some of us cope well with life because we had no choice but to learn and adapt. There was no help back when I was diagnosed. It was sink or swim. Nobody was going to give you ‘reasonable adjustments’, understand or help in any way.
We just had to get on with it, survive on a cocktail of anti depressants and anti-anxiety meds, and just get out into the world and muddle through.

The very definition of autism is that it has a significant impact on your life - you cannot get a diagnosis with it.

There (imo) needs to be a better distinction than “mild” or “high functioning” - different levels may be better, like in the US, or a term like Asperger’s to differentiate between the different types.

I think your missing the point in most illnesses their is a sliding scale.

heart defects -
yes you either have a heart defect or you don’t
but there is a difference between have a small hole and having a half a heart.

I knew from him being 13 months old he was autistic. He was developing typically, walking before his 1st birthday, saying dada and laughing, superb eye contact. Then he just stopped making eye contact and stopped smiling.
He was diagnosed at 2.5. I absolutely believe it's his autism that impacts him more than a learning disability, because the autism was evident so early.

My 15yo has mild autism. She has sailed through mainstream school, has plenty of friends, we don't have to restrict where we go or how we do things in any way. I wouldn't insult people who have severely autistic children by saying our struggles are the same, it would be a ridiculous thing to say.

Who said anything about experiences being less valid? That is exactly what I mean - people take "there are milder and more severe forms of autism" as an attack instead of a simple statement of fact.

Of course I know that people have it “worse” than me but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to describe my condition as mild or to describe me as “high functioning”.

I personally think we need to bring back a diagnosis like Asperger’s (obviously under a different name) to differentiate between severe and profound autism and those of us who appear more “neurotypical” but most certainly are not.

Oh so my autistic children just aren’t trying hard enough.

But she didn’t say “a little bit” she said mildly, so your explanation doesn’t fit. You either have asthma or you don’t but some people can definitely be mildly asthmatic and others severe. You either have hayfever or you don’t. But some people have mild hayfever for which a tablet in the morning for a few months of the year sorts them out and you’d never know, others have it severely and need multiple different treatments and still their eyes are puffy and they’re sneezing all summer. I could go on.

Not really commenting on autism as such, just your explanation needs some thought. Just because you either have something or don’t have it doesn’t exclude that thing also being categorised as mild, moderate or severe.

How was your daughter diagnosed if it is not obvious or only impacting her mildly? Who recognised that she needed an assessment?
I know non verbal children and children who stim fit hours who have haven’t been assessed yet, they’re not coping.

Trying to box a condition as complex as autism into “mild” or “severe” or levels 1/2/3 doesn’t work because it’s such a complex condition that impacts on so many aspects of the individuals experience. As much as I see why people don’t like it autism doesn’t fit into neat little boxes.

Ok, then we're pretty much back to the original question. Why is the statement "you can be mildly or severely autistic" offensive?

Because when your very real struggles are dismissed as “mild” it very much feels like an attack and like your own autism is being invalidated.

Because it dismisses those of us with ”mild”presenting autism as we’re made to feel as though our struggles aren’t a big deal.

We need two separate diagnoses IMO.

How has she got an autism diagnosis when it needs to severely impact life to get a diagnosis? She sails through school and it doesn’t restrict your life in any way. How????

And how dare you say my children aren’t severely autistic because they went to main stream. They are severely autistic and are severely impacted to the extent they all need a high level of support and services.

I have been saying for a while now that I think they should change the name or somthing because I am autistic, so is my DD..... but we are not the same autistic as my friends globally delayed, non verbal, still in nappies 5 year old who can only eat certain things.

My DD and I were only diagnosed in 2022 / 2023

High functioning autistic people are not the same as the autistic people who are globally delayed snd honestly it really really offends me on my friends behalf that people treat it as the same. It isn't.

Yes high functioning autistic are also on a scale where some days they need more support than others, but it really isn't on the same level as someone like my friends child

I personally believe autism should be kept for people who are globally delayed, non verbal ect and they need a new name for the high functioning people

I wouldn't comment on anyone else's autism as you can never tell what children are like when they are in their own home and I know my daughter masks at school.

Her diagnosis was quite unconventional, it was done through her speech and language therapist and I'm not all that happy with the process. She had always struggled in crowded social situations like parties, very fussy with food, struggles to fall asleep, can't read social cues well, was a late developer, seems younger than her years amongst other things. She manages fine in mainstream school and attends a variety of clubs, but it takes her a long time to get used to anything new.

Hmm, faux-naive goady nonsense posted at 2am. How unusual.