Explain to me why you offence is caused by saying things like 'mildly autistic' etc.

[Purpleturtle45]

If ASD is a spectrum why do people commonly disagree that you can be mildly autistic or severely autistic etc.

My daughter is diagnosed with ASD, however you wouldn't really know unless you knew her well. She goes to mainstream school and copes well with everyday life most of the time so to me I would say she is mildly autistic but I often see people getting ripped to shreds on here for using that term.

Genuinely wondering how 'spectrum' can literally be in the title of the condition but people disagree there can be different severities.

I'm assuming you're asking me, that's because she had much more obvious traits when she was a toddler/young child. She still has the traits now of course but because every autistic person is different she just doesn't struggle with things like school, outings etc.

Trying never to allow anyone to use normal words to describe the visible impact is equally senseless.

And in the respect of hidden impact autism is only one of a myriad of physical and mental issues and diseases that people conversationally refer to as on a spectrum from mild to severe.

Ridiculous comparison.

I don't feel like I am getting a hard time. From reading all the comments a lot of people agree with me, and most people that don't have given a good explanation as to why. My post came from a previous post I made where I described my daughter as 'mildly autistic' and it totally derailed the thread by people saying that was an unreasonable thing to say.

I can see on this post though that a lot of people are in agreement that there is more mild and severe cases.

But that's how it is.

In your world, perhaps.

You're saying it "feels like" your autism is being invalidated. Maybe it has been in the past and so you're looking at everything through that lense, I don't know. But it's not invalidating to say your struggles could very well be mild in comparison to someone else's. That does not mean you're not struggling or that it's not awful for you or that you don't need support.

Two people might have cancer. One is terminal, the other needs extensive treatment but has a good chance of living with the condition. The first is more severe than the second. But that doesn't mean the second doesn't have cancer or won't struggle.

Or to take the pregnancy example from earlier up the thread. Someone who is 1 month pregnant has different struggles and needs to some who is 9 months pregnant. Both are pregnant.

I picked up on her having autistic traits. The school were in disagreement (masking) but her speech and language therapist agreed with me and put her forward for an assessment. I wrote a thread on it at the time but the route through which she was diagnosed is unconventional and I believe as a result of the local authority I am in trying to speed up the huge waiting times for diagnosis. I don't believe it was done properly.

No you said

“She has sailed through mainstream school, has plenty of friends, we don't have to restrict where we go or how we do things in any way.“

So how has she reached the threshold of:-

• Social Communication & Interaction: Persistent difficulties with verbal/non-verbal communication, social-emotional reciprocity, and developing/maintaining relationships.
• Restricted/Repetitive Behaviors & Interests:Stereotyped movements, inflexible adherence to routines, restricted interests, and atypical sensory responses (hyper- or hypo-reactivity).
• Developmental Onset: Symptoms must be present in early childhood, though they may not fully manifest until later when social demands exceed capacity.
• Functional Impact: These traits must cause significant impairment in daily life (social, work, or other areas).

I smell 🐂 💩

I genuinely believe they need a complete overhaul of the autistic spectrum. Someone claiming they have autism but functions well is a million miles apart from someone with severe autism. It is not the same. I wonder how many people feel ashamed to say they are “on the spectrum” because of this exact reason.

I think I can understand how you feel that way but can't you see that trying to insist that your issues are not mild compared to some others with the condition does actually dismiss those with worse problems?

People who function well and aren’t severely impacted by autism aren’t autistic.

I would think the mild/severe word is more about how much it impacts their life. A child with autism becoming an adult who cannot safely live independently is having a “severe impact” on their life, a child who grows up and becomes a professional earning good money, mild impact. That doesn’t mean the struggles aren’t there but to suggest the two are the same is like saying someone with incurable cancer is the same as someone with curable cancer. It’s completely fine and helpful to differentiate.

But that’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying that my struggles are my struggles and shouldn’t be compared to other people’s just because it makes things easier for them.

I didn't say every child who goes to mainstream is mildly autistic. I said my child sailed through mainstream, she didn't need any adjustments.

On the contrary, how dare you invalidate my daughter's diagnosis just because it doesn't fit your narrative.

No it needs to severely impact life to get a diagnosis. It can and does severely impact life in many, many ways.

Actually, it’s the opposite - when people refer to someone as having “mild autism” they’re generally referring to the impact it has on THEIR life.

You cannot get a diagnosis of autism unless it has a severe and lifelong impact. It is a disability no matter how it presents to the outside world.

Huh? I work with a number of doctors who function well but also have autism. How can you compare them to a non verbal autistic adult who will never safely live on their own - from your post, you simple decide the doctors I mention aren’t autistic 😳

Your child’s diagnosis as laid out by yourself which you chose to do does not meet the diagnosis criteria.

That's not how it works. I am asthmatic, I take an inhaler every night which keeps it in check, I've never had an asthma attack or needed hospital treatment. Some people are in and out of hospital, suffer immensely and can even die from it. Does my experience mean I don't have asthma?

No. The point is that you cannot be diagnosed with autism unless you are significantly impacted by it. That’s the very criteria for a diagnosis.

You have no idea how their lives are severely impacted or the intimate details of their diagnoses assuming they have one and it’s not your assumption.

But a PP also says it's wrong for her H to describe himself as being "mildly autistic", having had a diagnosis, because he doesn't realise the effect his condition has on others, so is anyone allowed to use the phrase??

People can appear to others to be 'mildly' autistic but have huge struggles. I work with an autistic woman who works full time, but she needs help from her mum to shower and get to work, she has really poor mental health, she can't manage finances or paperwork. I work with another one who masks really well, can hold very good conversation and passed her A-Levels, she doesn't recognise risks so needs 24/7 support, doesn't recognise when things need cleaning, doesn't experience hunger or thirst so needs reminders to eat. I work with another who also masks well but is in and out of mental health hospitals. They would all seem mildly autistic to the general public but when you assess them, they actually have high support needs.

I have an autistic DD so have skin in the game here. I have come to realise that my mother is also autistic (not diagnosed) and, had knowledge been better, I would probably have been diagnosed as a child. We all function well, I am a lawyer, my mum was a teacher, but my DD is more badly affected than us and received some support and adjustments at school and has some adjustments and extra help now she is at university. I think it is wrong to characterise people like us as being the same as autistic people who can't communicate, or need huge amounts of support, or 24 hour care. The idea of a spectrum made this clear. Just saying you are autistic, or you are not, doesn't communicate the differences. So I have no issue with telling people that my DD is mildly autistic. I think it does a disservice to parents struggling with children with multiple needs and needing huge amounts of help, and adults with complex needs who will need help and support throughout their lives, to put us in the same box. We are not the same. My DD will struggle with some things, as do I, but she will be able to live independently. Many people with autism won't. It also doesn't help public understanding of the different needs that people with autism have.