No plus ones to friends wedding

[VelmaKe11y]

We live in leeds and she is getting married in Edinburgh in December. She has just told us in our friends group chat that our partners aren’t invited, and will just be ourselves.

We can all travel over there together and stay over somewhere so it’s not as if I’ll be going on my own. But I have never heard of this before. I have recently got engaged myself and it never occurred to me to invite people but not their partners?? Is this a common thing?

How do you know her?

I think it’s a bit weird on the whole to ask people to come and celebrate your love if you’re not willing to recognise theirs.

If you don’t know and socialise with respective partners - like a group of work friends - then that’s fine.

I think it's fine when it applies to the whole group. I was a guest at one wedding and my then-partner (of several years) was the only partner not invited from our friendship group! My friendship with the bride deteriorated a bit from that point 😂

This would be odd if you were the only friend but considering there is a friendship group I think it’s fine. Given the cost of weddings these days if you start inviting friends partners as well you can easily increase your wedding costs by several hundred pounds. You all know each other well so it’s not like you’ll be on your own. I wouldn’t have a problem with it personally.

This would be odd if you were the only friend but considering there is a friendship group I think it’s fine. Given the cost of weddings these days if you start inviting friends partners as well you can easily increase your wedding costs by several hundred pounds. You all know each other well so it’s not like you’ll be on your own. I wouldn’t have a problem with it personally.

Plus I’m a big advocate for having the wedding you want. I hate the insistence on you can’t invite x without y. If the bride and groom give in to everyone’s demands they either end up paying an extortionate amount for guests they don’t really want at their wedding or sticking to a budget and bumping people they would prefer to attend to give a place to someone whom etiquette dictates is more deserving.

This would be odd if you were the only friend but considering there is a friendship group I think it’s fine. Given the cost of weddings these days if you start inviting friends partners as well you can easily increase your wedding costs by several hundred pounds. You all know each other well so it’s not like you’ll be on your own. I wouldn’t have a problem with it personally.

Plus I’m a big advocate for having the wedding you want. I hate the insistence on you can’t invite x without y. If the bride and groom give in to everyone’s demands they either end up paying an extortionate amount for guests they don’t really want at their wedding or sticking to a budget and bumping people they would prefer to attend to give a place to someone whom etiquette dictates is more deserving.

My old uni friend has done this with our group of friends. She’s getting married for the second time. The rest of us have been married 25 years plus. We are all meeting up in Birmingham and travelling up to the wedding together. We’re looking forward to a weekend away, our own hotel rooms and beds and a catch up.

I think it's much more sensible to not invite partners. Obviously it's different if the bride and groom are friends with both, or it's close family.

It seems ridiculous and pointless to spend a fortune so everyone can take a random person that the bride and groom may barely know, or never even met.

If I was invited to a wedding, I wouldn't care less if he was invited as a plus 1or not. He was invited to a family wedding a few years ago, but it was much more sensible for him to stay at mine and look after the dog. I didn't really want to feel I have to entertain him and make sure he is having a good time because I have dragged him to a wedding where he barely knows anyone, and he is very quiet and reserved socially. Likewise, I wouldn't want to go to a wedding as his plus 1, if I didn't really know anyone and they don't know me. I have better things to do with me time!

We invited partners that we knew and had met several times. We were in our 20’s so some friends had a new boy/girl friend between invites being sent and our wedding so they weren’t invited. I’ve been invited with and without a plus one to weddings.

I wouldn’t go unless was local. Being miserable I haven’t got any friends I would go on holidays with!
Especially as the couple are saving money but having a wedding hundreds of miles away, which will cost more to go to.

I’m Australian, so I’m sure there’s some cultural differences going on here, but I don’t consider a spouse/fiance/long-term boyfriend or girlfriend (especially if you live together) a “plus one”. At that point, you’re a a defined social unit, and I feel it’s rude to exclude half of it. A “plus one” is for newer relationships or people who are truly single.

I got married 10 years ago, and if we couldn’t afford or didn’t have the space to invite both people from a couple, we didn’t invite either of them. We only extended 2 genuine “plus ones” - 1 to a cousin of mine (he was the only unattached cousin at the time and weren’t sure if he was seeing anyone, but he came alone) and another to a family friend on my husband’s side who is disabled and needs assistance (her husband has passed so she usually brings one of her children). Every other couple was addressed by name.

We've attended quite a few weddings before and since, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of only one half of a couple being invited. There have been times where only one half has attended due to other commitments, but they were both invited. I think I’d decline a wedding invitation that was just for me and not my husband.

I invited my work friends but not their husbands- they were delighted!

I would either go or not like any event, I can do things without my husband

Went to two weddings like this- brilliant fun, just the gang together again and no worries about childcare!!

My friend did this but I didn’t know anyone else who was invited so I declined the invite.
If I had a group of friends to go with it wouldn’t bother me at all though.

Is your partner a good friend of the wedding couple? If not, I don’t see a problem. There probably would prefer to invite a friend or family member.

I didn’t see anything about her thinking her presence had been demanded?

I think it is quite normal not to invite OH’s if the OH is not known well to the Bride or Groom. People often have to cut down on numbers. Why would you entertain someone you hardly know and then have to take someone you know well and like off the guest list.

This sounds like a perfect day to me! 😍

I'm mid 30s and I've found this to be quite common, both myself and my husband have been invited to weddings individually. I completely understand as weddings are expensive and people want who they want there rather than having to leave friends off in favour of someone they've never met.

Personally, I wouldn’t care if people are doing it now. If my partner wasn’t invited I wouldn’t not be attending.

My husband’s friend did the same. His friend wanna save money for housing deposit. I am not a very social person so happy with the arrangement. To be honest, I rather stay at home with my dogs than attend someone’s wedding who I don’t know well.

Can’t blame her as it’s so expensive these days

Absolutely this!

I did this back in 2014 as it was about £100 per head and also had numbers for the venue which couldn’t accomodate all the people so cut the partners out from my mates group. Was all good a saved us about £500-700 from memory!

Weddings are expensive and about celebrating with the couple . They want their nearest and dearest there... Not yours

It will be a fun girls trip

No, only one person in the couple had met him briefly (when he dropped me off at the hen do).