To go away alone for 40th Birthday?

[Janblues28]

It's my 40th soon and I have travelled alone plenty of times before usually tagging along holidays on to work trips. My 5yo son has ASD with PDA profile and my DH says he can't cope with him so I had originally planned a 4 day break with all of us but in reality I know it will likely be a disaster and any hope or expectation I had will be met with disappointment. I think i was kidding myself. I could do a mini break and I've thought about going alone - would that be really tragic? I just never get any respite, work full time and when I'm not working I'm caring for DS. There is no break.
I'm also feeling resentful as DH took 3 separate far flung holidays last year for his 40th and was able to do so because I CAN care for our son. Should I do the 4 day break with all of them or go solo - accept it might not be the adventure I was after but at least I get some time to myself.

Of course your DH can cope with him if you can! He just doesn’t want to.

I say you should have your break

Go! Have an amazing time.

It sounds like you really deserve this break. I would absolutely go alone.

Absolutely go, sounds bliss!

You are being very unreasonable. You should be pushing for the three breaks your DH had for his birthday!

Go and have a lovely time. x

Your husband obviously needs more practice if he can't cope alone. Do you have time to book a couple of weekends away alone before your peaceful mini break?
Definitely point out "d"h had far more time away for himself than you are planning for your 40th.
You deserve a break. Take it before you burn out.

I'm wondering the same thing about my birthday. If you'd enjoy being alone, go for it. If you're unsure, how about going away with a friend or family member?

A minibreak alone is anything but tragic and it sounds like you should put yourself first for once. It's your 40th FFS.

Your DH saying he "can't cope' looking after his child for a few days is tragic though. How has it come to that?

Your DH took 3 holidays and expects you to not even have a short break? That is outrageous. He can cope, he needs to learn to cope, and you need a break.

I could do a mini break and I've thought about going alone - would that be really tragic?

It would be tragic if you DIDN'T take this opportunity for yourself.

I mostly travel solo. Love it. I can do what I want, if I want and when I want.

There’s a way you can get every other weekend off. Go for it. He’s being ridiculous

Go. Your DH will cope. I also have an autistic PDA profile child and it’s hard work. I used to work away for a few days at a time when he was that age and I swear it saved my sanity.

I love a wee solo trip. A chance to be properly selfish.

Do it. Go somewhere you could never go with the family. Have an AMAZING time.

Your DH is being unfair and unreasonable! He can cope and he can learn to as well!

A solo trip sounds wonderful - do it!

(I went away alone for my 60th - not that celebrate my birthday - and my husband didn't think it was an issue at all.)

If he gets far flung, why don't you? There are wonderful trips, GAdventures and the like.

Go solo! Given that your husband had three birthday trips 🙄 you could always add on a family trip later. But give yourself a break first. That thing about putting your own oxygen mask on before you can help others.

I did for my 40th! Booked a gorgeous barn conversion with garden spa room in Wales, and took myself and the dogs off for a few days of bliss. 10/10, would do again!

Why is your husband travelling alone cool but you travelling alone tragic?

Your DH is truly awful. You need crystal clearhim so he realises this is utterly out of order. Book yourself a week away.

Go for it OP. Enjoy!

Go!
A lovely retreat with what you like to do
And make it clear to dh he steps up arranges help if he needs it but he is in charge

You ve done it for his trips
Your turn

Your husband sounds a selfish fucker. Book the trip, he’ll manage when he absolutely has to. Make sure you remind him every time he starts complaining that he had 3 trips away so it’s only fair you should have at least one.

How has he coped with DS when you’ve gone away on work trips?

I would go alone or if I wanted to would go with a good friend or relative

Surely parenting a child is a two way thing when you are a couple ? Your DH should be able to care for your DC like you care for them when he is away