Is my DS’s tutor being unreasonable

[PWPmum]

My DS 11 who is in year 6 has a weekly tutor to help him prepare for his SATs and support his spelling. He is dyslexic. She insists on being paid at the beginning of the month with the sessions she will teach agreed in advance.
My DS is not well today. So I contacted the tutor to let her know he can’t do the lesson today and asked if we could roll the lesson over
she has replied saying as the cancellation is on the day and her time is booked out, there is no rolling over or refund.
But there will be no lesson today so part of me feels why should I pay?
She’s offered to teach him at the weekend but we’re busy then.
I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not to push for the credit to go towards next month or not.

Who do you suggest pays the tutor's bills? Mortgage / rent whatever?
She's done more than enough offering you an alternative. I send work via email for them to do when they're feeling better.

OP, it is the tutor's job. She has probably turned down other potential clients because that time was reserved for your son. If all her pupils could just cancel at short notice, for whatever reason (which might be invented, though I’m not suggesting yours is), how could she make a dependable living? It was good of her to offer an alternative - not all tutors, or instrumental teachers etc., would do that.

Imagine you had a job in a hairdressing salon. If your boss sometimes told you at short notice that you could have an hour off because there were no customers booked, but you weren’t going to get paid for that time, would you be happy with that?

Piano teacher here.

I used to offer roll overs for cancelled lessons. But now I have stopped, as when it came to my end of year finances I realised that rolling over for illness/granny is visiting/its just too nice a day to play piano/snow/black ice/ive had my eyebrows threaded and my eyes are so sore I don't want to be seen in public/I forgot what day it is/bad traffic (all of these were ACTUAL REASONS AND ALL EXPECTES REFUND/ROLL OVER because "oh now you have a free afternoon." No I dont, I have 4 - 6 hours tutoring a day, packed to the rafters with a waiting list of people wanting to start. Anyway, when I added up how much that cost me it wasn't hundreds, it was thousands a year it cost to roll over. Now it is 48 hours notice and all lessons paid for a term in advance. No exceptions. My mortgage and bills dont roll over or refund me and they come out every month like clockwork. I do not understand why parents/clients think that self employed people magically exist on nothing.
Whether you have recommended her to others is neither here nor there. If shes anything like me she'll have a full schedule and a waiting list of clients, and I haven't advertised in years.
If you had a meeting at work, and your boss cancelled it last minute, would you be happy to lose that hours/days pay?
Please don't treat tutors like they are indebted to you. She has set out the terms. You have no right to try and argue with them, it is hee business and her livelihood and not yours to try and bend the rules. The rules, if she is anything like me, will have been put in place after years (decades!) of being treated like this.

Piano teacher here.

I used to offer roll overs for cancelled lessons. But now I have stopped, as when it came to my end of year finances I realised that rolling over for illness/granny is visiting/its just too nice a day to play piano/snow/black ice/ive had my eyebrows threaded and my eyes are so sore I don't want to be seen in public/I forgot what day it is/bad traffic (all of these were ACTUAL REASONS AND ALL EXPECTES REFUND/ROLL OVER because "oh now you have a free afternoon." No I dont, I have 4 - 6 hours tutoring a day, packed to the rafters with a waiting list of people wanting to start. Anyway, when I added up how much that cost me it wasn't hundreds, it was thousands a year it cost to roll over. Now it is 48 hours notice and all lessons paid for a term in advance. No exceptions. My mortgage and bills dont roll over or refund me and they come out every month like clockwork. I do not understand why parents/clients think that self employed people magically exist on nothing.
Whether you have recommended her to others is neither here nor there. If shes anything like me she'll have a full schedule and a waiting list of clients, and I haven't advertised in years.
If you had a meeting at work, and your boss cancelled it last minute, would you be happy to lose that hours/days pay?
Please don't treat tutors like they are indebted to you. She has set out the terms. You have no right to try and argue with them, it is hee business and her livelihood and not yours to try and bend the rules. The rules, if she is anything like me, will have been put in place after years (decades!) of being treated like this.

Apologies for the double post!

We have a tutor for our son, it's very flexible. We have a general understanding that we give each other as much notice as possible for cancellations or reschedules but appreciate that isn't always possible. I think if the tutor has cancelled at short notice before and rolled the credit over, I would politely reminder her of this, providing you aren't cancelling at the last minute on a regular basis.

No, you AIBU, too late to cancel

Have you got one of my old clients?!

Honestly. Only if you've ever done tutoring would you understand just how unreasonable some people are. I had a client argue with me before Christmas that I wasn't being more accommodating of her payment being 10 days late because she had a car bill to pay. I split her payment into two and she STILL wasn't happy. She's now an ex-client. We also have food to buy and bills to pay.

I remember one client I literally chased every single god damn month for over two years for payment. She was strategically trying to move her 1st of the month payment later and later in effect gaining a full month for free. I don't do any of that now. First sign of being a pain, you're cut.

This

I am a full time tutor.

She is being very reasonable, I have the same terms which my students agree to in advance. I do make a point of explaining my cancellation policy in advance and am fairly generous with it.

Your tutor will have planned her month and budgeted accordingly. If she credits you the lesson, she will be effectively out of pocket. If there is a financial fall out from your child being ill - I you think it's fair to ask the tutor to take the hit?

If you can't make the slot, ask her nicely if she has any other available slots and if she doesn't accept that your child being sick does not mean she should be out of pocket.

Cancel on the day with your dentist and do they ask you to pay?
There isn't a difference.
The tutor blocked off the time YOU asked for so THEY couldn't take another booking at that time. Then it didn't suit YOU, at the last minute. THEY offered another time slot. YOU don't want it, because it doesn't suit YOU.
I think THEY are being reasonable.

I should have said, what if your (hairdressing) boss told you that you weren’t getting paid for the next hour because the booked customer had cancelled.

You pay her to provide a service. If she is available to provide that service, you pay her whether you turn up or not. If she is unavailable to provide that service, she has to give you an alternative slot to fulfil her contract.

If you buy a loaf of bread, do you want refunded if you don’t eat it?

YABU.

It's her living she cannot get another client at such short notice. What is so difficult for people to understand about cancellation policies.

"She only offered one time slot at the weekend which is when my DS has a sports club.
It just feels a bit off that she won’t credit the lesson into next month as I’ve recommended her to other people so she’s benefitted from that and one time she cancelled on the day as she was unwell and that time she did roll the credit over".

Copied from OP Post at 10.00.Entitled, and making you look very silly. You signed a contract. The tutor has to make a living, and it's not her fault your son is ill. She offered a alternative you turned it down. Why can't your son miss his sports club just for once.

The fact you recommended her to others is irrelevant, you recommended her on her ability and the fact she is good. The tutor cannot afford to lose money.

Honestly you sound like people I have met in the past, they go out to a restaurant and are always looking for something to complain about to get a freebie. It is not a good look.

I am hoping this is a reverse, and if not she see's this, and terminates your contract. Please note 99% of people thinks you are wrong.

If the tutoring is so important, cancel the sports club for the day. I would assume the tutoring should take priority to you and your DS.

Lots of businesses charge for late cancellation. Dentists, hairdressers to name but two, and they don’t offer to change the appointment for free! She has offered you an alternative day, not her fault you are choosing to do something else instead.

Find time on the weekend as she has offered - if you are serious about your child progressing.

Of course you have to pay 🤣

Of course you should pay!!! 🤣

Well ofcourse she will roll the credit over when she's sick- that's on her. Just like it's on you when your ds is sick. And she was very generous offering to do a session this week-end.

The situation of the tutor having to cancel at short notice but rolling over the lesson to another date is completely different to the client cancelling at short notice then expecting to be accommodated with a refund because they have recommended other potential clients in the past. One is good customer service, the other is client entitlement.

In this case the tutor has been more than generous in offering an alternative date, which the OP has turned down.

Another “that parent”.

But you still haven't covered why you think she should lose money because your son is ill?