Is my DS’s tutor being unreasonable

[PWPmum]

My DS 11 who is in year 6 has a weekly tutor to help him prepare for his SATs and support his spelling. He is dyslexic. She insists on being paid at the beginning of the month with the sessions she will teach agreed in advance.
My DS is not well today. So I contacted the tutor to let her know he can’t do the lesson today and asked if we could roll the lesson over
she has replied saying as the cancellation is on the day and her time is booked out, there is no rolling over or refund.
But there will be no lesson today so part of me feels why should I pay?
She’s offered to teach him at the weekend but we’re busy then.
I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not to push for the credit to go towards next month or not.

It's amazing to me how many people think that the world should revolve around them and their needs, with zero regard for anyone else.

YABU. I used to tutor and a short notice cancellation like this should be paid for. The tutor has booked that time for you, is very unlikely to be able to book another pupil in for that slot and has probably spent time planning it. Tutors need to have rules or some customers will unfortunately take advantage, I once had a customer cancel half an hour before a lesson because they fancied going to the park.

My DM and SiL used to tutor. No way would they be giving refunds though they may as this tutor has done try to switch to another date and time which is more than generous of them.

YABVU.

I can’t believe you are even asking this. What a joke.

DS has a music teacher. I have no idea what her cancellation policy is, because I wouldn't even dream of cancelling on the day and not paying her.

We pay for the time slot, she holds her piece of the bargain. If we can't use the time then that's on us.

YABU

She's self-employed. Had she more notice that your son couldn't attend, she could have filled the slot. As it is, on the day and without notice, she can't.

It's not your fault your son is ill of course. You couldn't have given more notice. But this is standard practice. YABVU and I really would drop it because she will think very poorly of you - and rightly.

She's trying to run a business, imagine if there was a bug going around and most of her students were suddenly off sick and expected not to have to pay - how would she afford to live?

Had a decade of experience with tutors, music lessons, sports coaching and even cleaners. You book and pay for that specific hour in their diary. If you don’t use it, you still pay for it. They can’t rummage around in their diaries to magic up another customer at short notice and shouldn’t have to. it’s their income stream - it pays their mortgage and for the fuel in their cars. Their living expenses don’t go away because half a dozen people cancel each month.

Totally standard practise.

She’s running a business. She has bills to pay and can’t lose money everytime a child is unwell.

Completely unreasonable but I'm sure you know that!

YABVVU!

Pretty standard. You cancel on the day, she wont be able to get another client in. Its a business at the end of the day.

P.s teacher here. Im an advocate for not putting any pressure or strain on y6 SATs. They are just for schools. Have no baring on the child's later life. Schools often use them to put children in SETs in Y7, but if the SATS are heavily revised for this often gives a false picture of what they are actually capable of, meaning they are placed in too high a set for English and maths upon moving to secondary school.
Far better to encourage your child to do their very best at school, complete any homework set and the focus on how to deal with exams.

SATS are the first proper exams they will do so its better to focus on exam technique, expecially time management, the reading paper has a lot to read in the hour and one or two of the maths papers allows less than a minute per question 😱
My daughter is Y7 now, and I made sure her exam technique was sound, but she did no additional revision other than homework the school set. No pressure piled on I made it clear it didnt affect her future job or career and made sure she was relaxed about it all as best as possible. She sailed through them (academically and mentally) with no upset, loss of appetite, withdrawing from activities or disrupted sleep. Thats a win for me 👍

I’m anticipating that the tutoring sessions are for an hour?? The session is paid for and your son is poorly but the tutor has offered to come at the weekend. And you’re too busy with other plans to facilitate one hour for your son’s education?!?
I’d be rescheduling my plans to give my child the best chance and to support his education.

The tutor is being entirely reasonable.

Of course you’re being unreasonable.

If this tutor applied the rules you expect for all of the families she worked for her life would be absolute mayhem.

It’s not her fault you can’t make the scheduled time you have both agreed on.

If you miss an appointment that can't be re book due short notice you loose the money or you can face a fee that goes from a percentage to the full cost.
She has offer an alternative in the same week Which is very good and shows her commitment to the job.
It works for tickets, appointments, childcare, even restaurants. What make you think tutors should not follow that policy.

Are you for real? How ridiculous. Of course you should bloody well pay! 🤦‍♀️

Very kind of her to try and squeeze you in at the weekend tbh, even though she didn't have to.
Stop being entitled. None of this is her fault, she has to feed and clothe herself too you know. Being self-employed is hard!

She is being very fair. She's offered an alternative, despite you canceling at very short notice.

You are being unreasonable.

You sound like you really begrudge the arrangement you have to be honest.
Maybe you need to stop tuition altogether if her terms don't suit you.

If she's a good tutor, she'll fill your space in no time. I'm also a tutor, and would be telling you to leave if you didn't like the way I run my business.

She doesn't even need to offer an alternative slot. She is running a business - YABVU.

With posts like this, and they are fairly frequent, the most baffling thing to me is that the poster cannot fathom why they should pay. You don’t need ti run a business/have a degree in economics etc surely to fathom that it’s completely obvious why you should still pay?

On the face of it YABU. She should have communicated her cancellation policy in her T&Cs when you signed up, which you presumably read and accepted. If she didn’t send these through to you then you may have some grounds to contest this. However, as a gesture of goodwill she has offered you a weekend session.
As a dyslexia tutor myself, I would state how important it is for students not to miss their specialist lessons, especially as they tend to have memory difficulties and so the longer you leave it between lessons the harder it is for them to re-engage. So I would advise you to accept that weekend lesson.

Did you have any terms/conditions is writing?
You seem very unreasonable ,last minute cancellation for most services result in payment in full, this tutor seems very reasonable in offering the weekend slot.

As a tutor, I still get this from parents from time to time. It is still the case with some tutoring agencies.