Is my DS’s tutor being unreasonable

[PWPmum]

My DS 11 who is in year 6 has a weekly tutor to help him prepare for his SATs and support his spelling. He is dyslexic. She insists on being paid at the beginning of the month with the sessions she will teach agreed in advance.
My DS is not well today. So I contacted the tutor to let her know he can’t do the lesson today and asked if we could roll the lesson over
she has replied saying as the cancellation is on the day and her time is booked out, there is no rolling over or refund.
But there will be no lesson today so part of me feels why should I pay?
She’s offered to teach him at the weekend but we’re busy then.
I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or not to push for the credit to go towards next month or not.

You're very obviously being unreasonable.

You are being unreasonable!

I do hope she bins you

Do you work? If your work decided he didn’t need you for part of the day would you be happy to not be paid? Did your children attend private nursery? If you collected an hour early did you request the fee back?
it’s standard for services hired ie childcare, tutors etc to charge if you can’t access it.

Why dont you cancel the sports activity and ask them for a refund/credit instead?

And of course, you know that there is a huge difference in her rolling a credit over for something that is HER fault versus something that isnt. In fact, her honouring the credit when she cancelled is akin to you still paying for cancelling

If this was your business and source of income OP, what would YOU do? Moving a day reduces next month's income.

Also, if you're doing something nice like recommending services, don't cast it up. How petty.

Read the room OP- you’re being unreasonable. When your child is sick from sports or other activities do you demand a refund? Every activity I have ever done is really clear on the T&C that you pay a term in advance and if you can’t make it then tough. That obviously stings a bit more for the more expensive things like tutoring or music but you have to just suck it up.

She’s being generous. Our tutor offers one or two alternatives but I don’t actually expect it if we cancel at short notice

I think it's good advice from pp to cancel his sports activity. Then you can take advantage of the tuition.

Yes, she rolled it over because she was the one cancelling it. So she was inconveniencing you. You can’t honestly think it’s acceptable to cancel, a short notice as well, and then expect her just to suck up the loss of income. When people say stuff like this, I actually think they do know they’re being unreasonable but they’re just wanting lots of people to tell them how to get their money back. She’s offered you an alternative which she didn’t have to do and if you can’t take that well, that’s your problem. If she rolls it over to next month as you suggest she will be either having to use time that somebody else would be paying for so she’s still down one hours money or she has to use time that she has set aside for herself. Maybe you think that she shouldn’t have any downtimeand she should just hang around and wait for when it suits you?

YABVU. If you cancelled a hairdresser, holiday etc on the same day you wouldn't get your money back. She was INCREDIBLY generous to offer the weekend time.

I really hope this turns out to be a reverse, because if the OP is genuine, she's insanely unreasonable.

She can’t fill that slot at short notice. You wanted that slot held for you on a weekly or whatever basis. So pay for it.
Your son can miss the sports club and do his lesson, which tutor has kindly offered.

YABVU indeed. She even offered you an alternative, and you still aren’t satisfied. You booked her time, so pay for it.

YABU. Everyone else has already said everything that needs saying.

There is no way she would fill that slot today.

But there will be no lesson today so part of me feels why should I pay?
Using that theory, if you were too unwell to take a flight, go to the theatre or concert, would you expect that to be refunded too?

Most of my DD’s activities are paid termly or monthly in advance. If they don’t go I still pay, that’s what I signed up to. If the provider cancels I get a refund/credit as then it is their fault.

There are two activities where I pay weekly and if I give more than 24 hours’ notice can cancel and not pay, but these are the exception.

Its standard for you to pay for a short notice cancellation anywhere when the cancellation is from your side.

People always become incredibly ingenious with their justifications when they don't want to pay what they owe.

She rolled it over because she was ill, that is very simple business sense. Your son being ill is not her fault. Im struggling to see how you dont see the difference. She has been more than accommodating offering a weekend slot that you dont want because he has a sports club.

I have been unwell since Saturday and I had a hygienist appointment at the dentist at 10.30 on Monday morning. I obviously couldn't cancel until Monday morning but I called as soon as they opened. I had my card ready in case I had to pay for cancelling at such short notice. They didn't charge me and I hope that someone else called shortly after and was offered the appointment because the next appointment available for me is 6 weeks away.

OP the tutor is being totally reasonable and indeed generous to offer an alternative slot at the weekend. Why should she be out of pocket through no fault of her own?

Try this with your dentist next time you cancel on the day. See how you get on.

I'm a tutor. Your son's tutor has been more than fair in offering an alternative slot.
My best one was a mother insisting that because her child had turned up 10 minutes late for an online lesson she should either pay a reduced rate for the lesson or I should make up the 10 minutes at a time to suit her. Said child was 18, doing A levels. Um, no.

My God how can you not see you’re being so unreasonable.

She offered to roll over the lesson when she was ill because shes the one offering the service and had to cancel. If she rolled over the lesson for every single student she had every time they couldn’t make a session her schedule would be absolute mayhem and she’d also get people taking the absolute piss cancelling for no reason because they knew they could just reschedule.

She doesn’t need to bow down to you because you recommended her to a few friends, she would have got the work without you.

A little reminder, the world doesn’t revolve around you. If you pay for a service at a certain time and then drop out, sometimes you’re not going to get your money back or be able to rearrange because these people have a living to earn and other customers to serve.